This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

A secret can be kept by three only if two, not Pete Hegseth be. Porous Pete leaked an email insisting Russia, Iran and Ukraine were all just side shows. We’re gearing up for WAR with China! Keep that under your hat though, and don’t tell anyone you don’t trust. It’s a secret! Only in the Trump Administration or Gilligan’s Island, do you not get fired for giving away national security secrets twice in the same week.

In the Middle East the US is preparing for a big boy war. Bombers and fighters and tanker planes (oh, my) gearing up for something big. Soon. The King very cleverly waited to announce his doomsday tariff scenario until after the markets had closed. Naively like children, the markets were up until…! Yet they all knew the Highlander was a coming for their heads today. They all knew this day was coming. Maybe the Highlander will change his mind or forget what day it is?

It gave the markets pause, giving little rest overnight as the potential for doom began to germinate in their eroded corroded minds. And now DOOM! Before the Wall Street tariff experts (so called) estimated a 35% chance of a recession. I wonder, oh I wonder what that number is looking like today? Everything you ever thought of buying is now prohibitively expensive. Except assets (those things you own) those will be falling in value. Soon, they will be giving houses away!

Consumer spending will decrease rapidly because who in their right mind would buy an overpriced new car or pricey house in this job market? Wait a year and you can pick one up cheap from foreclosure. What the King is proposing is taking a nuclear bomb to the world economy. If you sat down with pencil and paper and worked all day long. You could not devise a better strategy to destroy the economy.

The King’s pronouncement has roiled the entire planet Earth’s economy. The King’s cuts and mutilation of USAID means that a lot of people will go hungry all around the world. USAID amounted to 40% of all food donations. Greetings from the pro-life Party of Jesus! All once coming from American farmers about to take a serious blow to the head. Due to falling commodity prices and the federal government reneging on contracts promising reimbursement for investments already made.

States and municipalities alike are beginning to scratch their heads wondering. What are we going to do now? Farmer’s screwed, check! Government workers, screwed, check! Educational workers screwed, check! Local community screwed, check! Oil industry screwed, check! Manufacturing screwed, check!

Gee, what do we do now? We should ask porous Pete for the plans? If he knows; I bet he’ll tell us! But isn’t it all somehow obvious? The Senate is all set to Fast Track Tax Cuts! Quick! Quick, quick, before the economy collapses. Nobody will remember who shot John after this donnybrook of doom falls on their heads. In the face of self-induced inclement economic weather and storms, Senate Republicans will move to fast-track tax cuts for the rich. I’m too cynical to believe that’s accidental. I was born at night but not last night.

If you thought at any moment in your sweet life Republican politicians, have YOUR interest at heart. This is your remedial wake up call. Let them eat cake! Tax cuts for the rich! Champagne for our dogs and cats! New cars and college for my kids but yours can go eat shit. “Well, I’m proud to be an American where at least I know I’m free! To die alone in the streets half-starved with some dreaded disease.”

What the King is doing is taking a baseball bat to Santa Claus and dooming the world economy to a prolonged recession/depression. Then will come the long awaited and universally acclaimed impeachment hearings sending the President to trial in two years . I love  watching financial channels because they are the worst liars.

Check this out! “Republican voters in Florida give the President’s agenda a passing grade!” A congressional district in Florida which hasn’t elected a Democrat in over fifty years elects a Republican. That is somehow an objective test and a passing grade? Oh, but they’re not finished yet. “Tesla sales are only 60% of last year due to an aging product line and stiff competition.” Yeah, that’s what it is, man. It’s that stiff competition! Alice through the looking glass stuff.

“Sometimes I wonder if the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.” ― Mark Twain

The King has officially washed his hands abandoning the peace process in Ukraine. The King has had his fill and has had his nose rubbed in it. With the whole world kissing his ass, he doesn’t have to put up with this! Gee, this is hard. If at first, you don’t succeed, walk away and do something else. Pivot as they say in Washington. Oh well, he can win his Noble Prize next year for something else. And if the King doesn’t win his prize, it’s going to be a 90% tariff on Sweden.

Good Morning Rubicon! We cross you today! A $40,000 car is now $60,000! What could go wrong? A 25% inflationary torpedo fired through the engine room of the economy and a call to fast-track tax cuts for the wealthy. Rob the pursers safe! Quick, before the ship goes down. They’ll be too busy to notice what with being broke and unemployed again. Always remember and tell your children to remember. This is being done to you intentionally.

This isn’t like 1929, where they didn’t really know any better and fucked up. This is an intentional policy of disenfranchisement and a redistribution of wealth away from YOU. Good morning campers, we’re all in the same soup now! Well, 99% of us are.

Remember their names!

“The liberty of a democracy is not safe if the people tolerated the growth of private power to a point where it becomes stronger than the democratic state itself. That in its essence is fascism: ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or any controlling private power.” ― Franklin D. Roosevelt