This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

I’ll tell you what, this bunch sure is hard to stay in front of. The media says there might be a recession. I say there will be a recession. No sooner have I said that when the experts begin to say, “There might even be a depression.” Then I say, “I wouldn’t doubt that for a second. It has all the makings of one. Then the experts say, “It might even be a Great Depression!” You win, I’m stumped! I won’t even try to top that one. But Goldman Sachs did, calling the current environment, “A Financial Armageddon.”

Let us all take a moment and reflect on that choice of phrase, shall we? And put on our thinking caps and TRY our very best to come up with a more DIRE prediction for the future. Okay, financial is money and Armageddon, of course, is the end of the world. So, you are telling your customers this is the end of the world? Now, I’d be criticized for making such a remark like that as “over the top or hyperbolic.” See? You just can’t get ahead of them.

This part pisses me off. Somebody is drawing a big fat check just to point out the obvious. Lenders have seen a sudden pull back in revolving credit and Auto sales. No kidding? Really? I knew that without even looking! Throw a 25% price increase into the mix and everything will be fine! Duh! You see, I already  knew that because I live on that side town. Where an extra piddly twenty thousand dollars makes a big difference.

This event is much like the Titanic. We’ve already struck the iceberg. Now Goldman Sach’s is saying “she’s a goner!” But there will be time in the interim before there’s cold water in every state room. The King has destroyed demand and the lack of demand will destroy the economy. There are no tariffs on the things which you don’t buy. And the good squirrel knows to put away nuts for a hard winter and not squander them on a new car, during a  Financial Armageddon! Buying a new car during Financial Armageddon? How dumb is that?

It’s the end of the world! Let’s buy a new car! Something economical, but sporty. A car that will hold the whole family on those long two-week vacations. Something with four-wheel drive so we can use it when we go skiing at our cabin in the mountains or tow the boat!

You’re probably not going to believe this. You’re probably going to say to yourself, there he goes again being hyperbolic. It seems sort of that ah, that well, of the Venezuelans shipped so harshly to the no longer top-secret Concentration Camp in El Salvador, only 25% have criminal records. You’re probably thinking, I’m making this stuff up. Surely Dave, the Trump Administration wouldn’t act so recklessly and incompetently? To just round people up and ship them off to concentration camps forever just because they are from a particular country.

The cruelty was the very purpose. The accused were snatched up and manhandled. Manacled and placed on an airliner and forced to watch Disney’s Snow White. Then stripped naked and shaved bald. Held potentially incommunicado forever. And they did it all for you America! The King begins his war on people of color. Farmers across the country are signaling there is going to be big trouble come harvest time. Most of the fruits and vegetables we enjoy in winter are imported. So, there’s that.

The Trump team put on a show for America! For Fox News! Live on Fox! Cruelty and injustice! Watch us take these largely innocent men and throw them into a maximum-Security prison for your enjoyment and viewing pleasure! Brought to you by Crest toothpaste. The King’s getting tough! Take that! Innocent victim! Here’s the rules. Rule number one, if you look at us crossways or cause any trouble whatsoever and we beat the living shit out of you! Any questions? Shawshank was summer camp compared with this place. This is ethnic cleansing with a camera and a concentration camp. But now the pictures will stop! The message has been sent subliminally to all Hispanics. You are not safe here! Your family is not safe here. You could get picked up off the street and whisked away to El Salvador forever without a trial, evidence or a lawyer.

I imagine there are secret rooms being built all across America as we speak. To hide relatives in the basement or the garage to protect them from the cops, the camps or general deportation in the land of the free. Only those violent gang members with criminal records, of course! We don’t make mistakes and even if we do, so what? What are you going to do about it?

Stay the course! Peace through strength! Vietnam has already called to make a trade deal! See! It’s working! “Prosperity is just around the corner!” Two chickens in every garage and a some pot. But I said, no! You never take the first offer. But here is good news. For Trump has so damaged the world economy he will be hampered from doing much else besides damage control from now on. Their dream is over. Broken on the shoals of their own incompetence.

The King doesn’t care if he angers all the little people with their pointless little lives. Like Joe Stalin said, “The death of a single individual is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.” You and your life and existence are just a mere statistic to the King. How important are you? How much money to you have? They had grandiose plans to remake the world and so might have to step on more than just a few of you. But you voted for it! You must have wanted your lives and futures destroyed. Your life and desires might be preempted to serve a greater and grander purpose exclusively for the obscenely rich.

“In everyone there is some willingness to merge with the anonymous crowd and to flow comfortably along with it down the river of pseudo-life. This is much more than a simple conflict between two identities. It is something far worse: it is a challenge to the very notion of identity itself.” ― Václav Havel