This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

I think this might surprise you. The base Commander in Greenland, the one, the King had fired. She deserved it. In what world are you insubordinate when the big boss comes in from out of town? You can think whatever you like, but when you are on the clock, you’re representing the uniform of the Air Force or the Space Farce or whoever. That is exactly why Harry Truman fired Douglas McArthur.

Harry Truman was trying to keep the Korean War for becoming World War Three. Meanwhile, Dug out Doug was flapping his gums telling the press we might have to go nuclear with the Chinese. Not his decision to make and irresponsible to say to the Press to boot. McArthur was told not to discuss speculative scenarios which weren’t his responsibility to discuss anyway. Then Truman fired him, end of story. You treat the boss badly and you’re gone. Sending a group email welcoming your guest basically by telling everyone to make him feel unwelcome. That’s not your job. That’s the Greenlanders job!

It only stands to reason that with the tens of thousands of government firings at least one would be well deserved. The base Commander was an officer and could have stepped down and resigned her commission at any time. You want to make a statement? Resign! Effective immediately, one hour before the Vice President’s plane arrives. That would show him, and the end results are just the same. You, out of a job. But how do you want to leave the building? Make your political statement, stand tall, head held high and leave under your own power? Or let them fire you and dress you down like Chuck Conners in “Branded” and throw you out of the soldier fort? Are you making a political statement or just being snippy? Shows you.

The King has decided in his tragic wisdom to make individual trade deals with each of the 195 countries recognized by the United Nations. Ostensibly, the reason the King gave for pausing his tariffs for 90 days was to give more time for negotiations. 195 countries in 90 days. Go! That’s 2.16 trade deals settled per day. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess they won’t be able to meet the deadline. I had this strange dream the other night. I was at a carnival riding in the bumper cars. It was crazy! These people would get up a head of steam and just crash into each other. Then just laugh maniacally, turn the wheel and pick out another target. Even without consulting Freud obviously this dream was about the Trump Administration.

Show of hands, how many of you think the King’s Administration actually knows what they are doing? Everything the King’s Administration is doing has been on a rightwing wish list for decades. End medicines for the sick and food for hungry children. Burn books push minorities around. Becoming sexually aroused by cuts to Agriculture, Veterans and cuts to scientific research. But gee? Ideologically, it all seems simple enough. Fire people, let the sick die and let the hungry get ready to die. Just stop writing checks, damn it. Easy peasy.

Wanna hear something funny? Republicans also known as “fiscal Conservatives” in Congress have just passed a budget resolution that in the best light will cost the Treasury 5.8 TRILLION DOLLARS over the next ten years. Only $400 billion of which is paid for with budget cuts to you know who, the poor, the sick and the elderly. School children going without lunch all to pay for tax cuts for the wealthy. It’s a new kind of shamelessly obscene, obscene American style.

The King says just everybody’s coming to kiss his ass! Where? Where are they? Point them out for us. The plan was working so well. The Stock markets around the globe began melting down. The days when Markets lose only 1% in value are good days, now!

The economy waving in the breeze and hovering between light and dark. Down 1,500 points three days in a row and then up 3,000 points on the fourth. Does that sound like a healthy market to you? Or does it sound like a contagion? The EKG of a heart attack victim. The CEOs of the Fortune 500 tearfully begged, and brow beat the King to in the name of god to relent. And the King did relent. Because in the King’s own words. “He didn’t want to cause a Depression.”

“Just sit right back and hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip. That started from this tropic port aboard this tiny ship.”

The real fear which made them relent from their devious plan was the bond market was starting to go squirrely. Historically in times of trouble, US government bonds are a safe harbor. But not this time. Mama always used to say, “You draw more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.” Being a kid, I never understood why you would want to draw flies in the first place. Not surprisingly, a lot of foreigners have their noses out of joint from the King’s rough treatment and boastful threats.

Ninety days will give importers just enough time to formulate their new strategy around the King. If you can’t sell the Toyotas or Hondas, in America anyway, just don’t ship them. Cut all of your American expectations in half and go on with your life.

“The mate was a mighty sailing man. The Skipper brave and sure.”

The Trump dollar takes the luster off of the American dollar. Investors are spurning the American dollar for “safer” currencies. The King did that! ALL BY HIMSELF. Act in haste and repent in leisure literally! Bad mouth everyone in the room bluster and kick over trash cans. Then lough and behold, they don’t want to buy your treasury bills anymore. Maybe they don’t need the American market after all. If they have to wade through all the madness and bullshit of dealing with the King. He’s this way today and he’s that way tomorrow! And you never quite know what he might do next.

The first rule of business says the easiest company to deal with will get the lion’s share business. If you want to be difficult, they won’t argue with you. They’ll just walk away and go somewhere else.

“The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert Isle. With Gilligan, the Skipper too, the Billionaire and his cars. The moon beam star and the rest. Here on Gilligan’s Island!

“Baravelli  may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.” ― Groucho Marx