This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

I think it is important what with a major religious holiday hovering so close above us. That we pause and reflect on the divinity and the mighty goodness of God. He sent his only son born of a mortal woman to be a teacher and a prophet, and a champion of the poor and oppressed. Evil doers would shy away at his very name. Such was his righteous authority, it was said, the unjust couldn’t even look him in the eye.

Some pseudointellectuals fill volumes and earn tenure trying to prove he was only a mythological figure. But the Architectural and historic records stand unchallenged, there is proof everywhere. From one end of the Mediterranean world to the other, everyone knew his name. He came to earth to aid mankind and he came to vouchsafe God’s connection to his chosen people.  

He performed many great labors and performed miracles only a God could perform. Yet, some still don’t believe he was the son of God. Not believing in God frees them from the intellectual responsibility of  believing in God. They owe no tithe and pay no heed to religious covenants or restrictions. How convenient. Cheapskates, but with a good intellectual argument as an excuse. Heretics who make a show of their prayers and devotions on the altars of the lord.

They don’t truly believe in God and so make a show of themselves with their shekles before the lord. But they couldn’t look him in the eye, and we all know it. You know what happens when he gets angry. Brother, look out! He can get mighty violent sometimes when riled, but mainly he was peaceful in a Godly and righteous sort of way.

He never said he was God, it’s what others said about him. He said God was his father, the same way any holy person would. And he said that he was God’s son, but only in the way a holy and righteous man would claim at the time. And they never wrote anything down. All we know are the tales people wrote down about him some time later. Sometime hundreds of years later. But look at the proof.

From Helena to Hollywood, everyone knows his name today. How could that be a myth and not a real person? How could his fame be so widespread if it was all just a made-up story? He was the son of God, and everyone believed. Surely, not everyone could be deceived by a silly religious cult? Surely, there must be some basis in fact for it. Zeus is God and Hercules was his son. To believe otherwise was okay if you wanted. In pre biblical times religion was largely a personal choice. A sometimes-dangerous personal choice if the goats suddenly started dying or the crops failed. They’ll immediately look for somebody to blame and odd man out. Death to the Blasphemer!

Let me ask you, if Hercules didn’t create the straits of Gibraltar, then who did? Un huh, it’s kind of hard to answer, isn’t it? It’s hard to confound with human logic when faced with irrefutable fact. There it is and for hundreds and hundreds of years were called the straits of Hercules. Until modernist, secular writers replaced the religious name to pacify Christian non-believers.

Hercules required no donations or prayers. If you were a righteous person being cheated or oppressed, he was on your side. He would fight for you to make things right and then; he would ask for nothing in return.  What sort of petty God needs exhortations of praise? Hercules was doing good for the sake of doing good. He didn’t need or want your praise. He was already the son of God, so what are your little prayers gonna do for him? Do good! That’s what Hercules did! God sent his son to earth tell us all to be good! Be just! Be righteous!

In our modern times of AC’s and DC’s it has become popular for the secular intellectuals to mock God. They don’t even believe the Oracle of Delphi knew the future. They don’t believe in the God Mars! Look up in the night sky. There he is! Mars is the God of War. Do we have war today? And still, you want more proof! Some people are just closed minded and can’t be convinced by any amount of evidence.

Look at the amazing Temples and shrines built in ancient times without any heavy equipment. Are you telling me they would bust their ass over a casual religion, somebody just made up? Are you trying to tell me Astrology and Numerology are all just made up? If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s science deniers!

What? Were they all just stupid or something? A made-up lexicon of stories and weird beliefs passed down from Father to son and Mother to daughter for generations? You know, sometimes I go to services to murder a couple of doves by breaking their necks and leaving their dead bodies on the altar in humble devotion. Wouldn’t you know it? Not five minutes later, some rich bastard drags in a bull to sacrifice making my poor offering look like shit. You all know the type, the ones who only come to the temple around the holidays.

You must believe, otherwise how could you sail off from port? How could you carry your goods to market down the bandit lined streets? You need a friend, real or imaginary. Someone on your side, someone incorruptible to protect you magically from the perils of the mortal world. My magic amulet protects me from Vampires around the clock. What does yours do?

One of the most astonishing things that have yet fallen under our observation is the exceedingly small portion of the earth from which sprang the now flourishing plant of Christianity. The longest journey our Saviour ever performed was from here to Jerusalem – about one hundred to one hundred and twenty miles. The next longest was from here to Sidon – say about sixty or seventy miles. Instead of being wide apart – as American appreciation of distances would naturally suggest – the places made most particularly celebrated by the presence of Christ are nearly all right here in full view, and within cannon-shot of Capernaum. Leaving out two or three short journeys of the Saviour, he spent his life, preached his gospel, and performed his miracles within a compass no larger than an ordinary county in the United States. It is as much as I can do to comprehend this stupefying fact. – Mark Twain