By David Glenn Cox
The NATO conference has been going well. Before President, you know who showed up a day late and a dollar short. He’s been busy saving the world and cussing people out. Besides, the Europeans won’t kiss his ass anymore and have decided just to ignore him and go on with their business. The leader of the Western Alliance, French President Emanual Macron posed for photographs with President Zelensky and pledged his full support to Ukraine. President, you know who was asked if he would speak with President Zelensky and answered. “Yeah, I’ll speak with him.”
It’s a case of the incredible shrinking Presidency. President, you know who was furious after a journalist leaked details of the not as completely successful bombing of Iran as first reported by the conscripted media. It’s like we used to say, the three most effective methods of mass communication are the telephone, telegraph and tell Pete Hegseth.
In 1939, Stalin invaded neighboring Finland. Certain his show of Soviet might would discourage any potential adversaries. (Nazi Germany) The disastrous campaign had exactly the opposite effect. It encouraged Germany that these guys were Bozo’s. President, you know who was bombing the Houthis daily. Until aircraft began rolling off of aircraft carriers decks busy dodging missiles. Note to Pentagon: Investigate a parking brake for the F-35. President, you know who then abandoned his campaign due to unsuccessful results drawing negative media attention. Giving the Houthis a victory over the US in front of the whole world, exempting the US media of course.
The Iran failure simply adds fuel to the fire. Which is why President, you know who accepted the cease fire terms even before the Iranians to whom they were offered could. President, you know who might win the Iran conflict, but couldn’t win the MAGA conflict. The incredibly shrinking President was creating a rip in the fabric his own Party. It has long been a wet dream of the War Hawks to attack Iran. And to promote regime change. The Peacocks have been warning Iran could be the straw breaking the camel’s back. President, you know who was certain that Iran would fold like the Trump Administration in a storm, and when they didn’t, he got cold feet.
Leaving the worst of both worlds. No victory over Iran. A MAGA split and another case of American arms not being as mighty as once believed. Finland 1939! Conservative firebrands like Marge Traitor Greene and Trucker Carlson were outraged! Fortunately, the media remains as docile as a tropical fish tank. Tell the American public that this guy fucks up everything he touches? Never!
Watch carefully to see what you won’t see! The other day a video leaked of the incredibly shrinking President, entering the room at a slow dottering gate. He wears his hat all the time now. Momma always said don’t ever wear your hat in the house son. But mama wasn’t balding. The incredible shrinking President entered the room wearing his Grandpa pants hiked up to the required three inches below his nipples. And without his signature red tie. The extended tie is supposed distract you from noticing his amazing corpulence. And without the tie and jacket his corpulence is truly amazing.
Apparently, the oval office, once the symbol of the American presidency has been converted into a breakroom with a ping pong table and vending machines. If the press want their 20 second sound bites. They will have to catch you know who as he comes or goes. That way, you know who has an excuse to keep it short. You know, “when the going gets tough the tough get going!” Some negative Nelly who doesn’t understand the true importance of giant American flagpoles. Wondered out loud, if that giant American flagpole might be a danger to the Marine One helicopter landing on the south lawn. Everything he touches! Everything! Measure once, fuck up twice! Oh, what historic irony should that helicopter ever clip that giant flagpole. Symbolism over Bernoulli’s principle. Symbolism over safety! Symbolism uber allis!
If at first, you don’t succeed. Tell the media to stop talking about it and change the subject. President to announce increased Chocolate ration! The media can talk about the NATO conference now. Ignoring that the Europeans have moved on making President, you know who a glorified spectator.
President, you know who loves farmers! He’s even willing to let migrants stay a while to help pick the crops, then scram! And he carried 75% of American farmer’s vote in the election. Farmers who now watch commodity prices eroding. When, you know who took office, Corn was at $5 a bushel. Those days are now long gone, as corn now stands at $4.20 per bushel. Nearly a 20% decrease and it’s not even the fourth of July yet. Farmers for Trump! Everything he touches! This starling decline in farm prices is decried in the press nowhere! Just ignore it and maybe it will go away.
I hate to beat a dead horse, but I find it truly amazing in a cow pasture filled with truly amazing events. How a Cabinet Secretary could disappear for 72 hours during a world crisis with an “Allergic Reaction.” And the press says nothing! What kind of allergic reaction? We don’t know. How did it happen? We don’t know. Was her life ever in danger? We don’t know. Could it happen to anyone? We don’t know. Did it happen at the Viper Room? She then reappears and returns to work without any further comment. It’s a simple case of don’t ask, don’t tell. The press don’t ask, and the White House doesn’t tell.
A Socialist wins the Democratic primary in New York. What a surprise! Running against a disgraced former Governor, he pulls off an amazing upset. But in 1930, in the depths of the Great Depression. The Communist Party was the fastest growing political Party in America. And only because while Republicans and Democrats dithered over what to do. The Communist Party set up feeding stations and began to feed hungry people. Any light looks bright enough, when you’re lost in the dark.
It’s really very simple. If Joe Biden slips on the stairs of Air Force one, he’s obviously a decrepit invalid. If the incredible shrinking President slips on those same stairs. Those steps are obviously defective and need to be replaced! President, you know who went to play golf this weekend. You heard that from me and not from the paid media. The media were told to not mention it.
“Republicans approve of the American farmer, but they are willing to help him go broke. They stand four-square for the American home–but not for housing. They are strong for labor–but they are stronger for restricting labor’s rights. They favor minimum wage–the smaller the minimum wage the better. They endorse educational opportunity for all–but they won’t spend money for teachers or for schools. They think modern medical care and hospitals are fine–for people who can afford them. They consider electrical power a great blessing–but only when the private power companies get their rake-off. They think American standard of living is a fine thing–so long as it doesn’t spread to all the people. And they admire of Government of the United States so much that they would like to buy it.” ― Harry S. Truman
And like Harry Truman always used to say, “The buck stops at the Press Secretary’s office!”
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