By David Glenn Cox
It’s like watching a giant Fascist baby. Jibbering and babbling contemplating its navel and playing with its dick. Unsure of how to move or how to operate its limbs and unsteady on its feet. It’s big talk little action. The NATO conference went along swimmingly until Chicken Don showed up on the last day. Just making a Gong Show appearance. The idea of a NATO conference without the United States present was almost unthinkable before Chicken Don.
The baby needs nothing and if it can’t have its own way in all things would rather go it alone. The baby issues pronouncements and makes demands which evaporate in the breeze almost as fast as they are made. Ronald Reagan sent the Navy into the Gulf of Sidra to slap down Libyan fighter jets. And did so effectively. The Bush twins Elder and Idiot massed US forces to dismember Iraq and unseat Saddam.
Bill Clinton successfully ended a war in the former Yugoslavia. Chicken Don takes on a rag tag revolutionary group living in mud huts on the horn of Africa. Finds it difficult, so he quits! No statements or announcements from the oval office. Just slinks away, tail between his legs allowing the revolutionary junta to brag about running the United States off like a stray cat.
Chicken Don brags to the complicit press that all the dictators in the Middle East think he’s great! Like a Fascist baby not being self-aware yet. He’s proud he’s traded the milk cow for some really rare and very expensive magic beans! No longer the leader of the free world or the leader of much of anything except to his dwindling number of sycophants. He’s struck a trade deal with Vietnam! Stop the presses! Vietnam everybody! Ain’t that great! That’s pretty great! He said so himself! He promised 193 trade deals in sixty days and achieved just TWO. He created the problem and then he takes credit for solving it, without solving it. Like a baby scribbling on the wall and claiming its art. And when he tires of creating masterpieces, he can move on to something new!
Still fighting with Canada because we all know how hard it can be getting a trade deal with those irascible Canadians. But if at first you don’t succeed, quit and slink away! Change the subject and pick a fight with someone else, until the crippled press forget to ask about it. He likes to sneak off on weekends to play golf but warns the press to keep that under their hat. No photos or press conferences until after the decisions are settled because that way. Chicken Don can’t be accused of making any mistakes.
It’s been the ultimate Neocon wet dream for more than a generation to attack Iran! But that hallway is too dark and scary to go down alone with the light off. He foists fake nuclear talks with the clear intention of attacking Iran when they fail. He needs Israel to hold his hand because he is too frightened to go it alone. Does Israel lead the way or does the United States? Who can say? Either way, Linus still needs his security blanket. With little press and no video. But the baby was so frightened that he agreed to a ceasefire even before the Iranians did unasked. Because it was getting scary, and it could have gotten ugly and gotten out of hand. As Iran had already loaded the sea mines onto the ships getting ready to mine the Straits of Hormuz.
That would be scary! Why that could cause big trouble! What to do? What to do! How about quit and claim victory before changing the subject. But first, to show the world our massive military prowess over a country with a tiny obsolete air force. Nothing but a handful of aging fighter jets! Boy, we sure showed those guys a thing or two! It only took a hundred aircraft to drop a dozen (Bunker Buster)bombs on underground facilities.
Chicken Don then swears on his commemorative novelty Bible that the facilities were wiped out! Completely knocked out! But being underground facilities, who is to say? Another Chicken Don idle boast. “But I did it!” he claims. “Prove me wrong!” he declares. “I’ve stopped a forty-year debatable nuclear program! And I did it all by myself! Okay, Israel helped a little bit, with most of the aircraft and most of the airstrikes. But I did all the really important stuff myself!”
And when it was noticed that Iran had already moved all the uranium two days before the airstrikes. Chicken Don claims he knocked out the facilities anyway, uranium or not. Never mind that was the whole point of the air strike. Forget that! Just forget all about it! That’s unimportant now! We’ve stopped their debatable nuclear program. Come on, keep up! That’s old news now! Look at this giant flag pole! Huh? Pretty great huh? Just like the one you see at the used car dealerships. I bet even George Washington never put up a such great flag pole as this!
Chicken Don scales back aid to Ukraine and lifts sanctions on Russia, but does so quietly on the QT. Because that could be unpopular. Just don’t mention it unless somebody asks. What they don’t know won’t hurt me! They might get the wrong idea lifting sanctions on Russia while the rest of the world tightens sanctions and increases aid to Ukraine. Tweedle dumb 86 proof Pete Hegseth says the US seeks an end to the war in Ukraine. But it might not end the way most of the people in the room wish. Is that sinister enough for you? Why that’s about as clear as a shot of Everclear! We don’t need no stinking badges! We’ll just do whatever the hell we want and let the chips fall where they may. What are you going to do about it? Tell the press?
At the eleventh hour, suddenly Chicken Don’s big brave societal suicide bill is in trouble. Republican members are getting cold feet and becoming aware. That the bill properly applied will be as devastating as Stalin’s purges or Hitler’s enabling acts. Chicken Don is trying to change the subject and avoid the insurrection inside his own party by proudly visiting Alligator Auschwitz. Ain’t this great? Boy, I must be pretty great taking credit for this idea. Why this is probably the greatest concentration camp there ever was in the whole wide world! “I am so great! I am so great! I am so great!”
Mirror, mirror on the wall! I am so great even when I fall!
“This is the thing to bomb. This is the beginning—from “I” to “we”. If you who own the things people must have could understand this, you might preserve yourself. If you could separate causes from results, if you could know that Paine, Marx, Jefferson, Lenin were results, not causes, you might survive. But that you cannot know. For the quality of owning freezes you forever into “I” and cuts you off forever from the “we”. ” ― John Steinbeck
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