By David Glenn Cox
Well, never mind whatever the Taco in Chief said two weeks ago. No, there won’t be any carve outs for farm workers, hotels or restaurant staff. Everybody’s got to go! And just to make this week’s new pronouncement ring true. Tom Holman’s Nazi thugs from his Gestapo raided a farm outside of Los Angeles. Media reports say protestors threw projectiles at the agents. Do you know why they say that? Because projectiles sounds much more violent and lethal than just saying stones or pebbles.
All those innocent ICE agents were doing was firing tear gas, smoke bombs and stun grenades. Which came first; the chicken or the egg? Trying their best to stop migrant workers from violently picking vegetables AKA, going to work. What we need here is a show of force! Show them we mean business! Er, ah, that is we mean to stop this business! The Secretary of Agriculture the Reverend Brook Rollins suggests, she has the answer. Sure, it’s so simple! Why didn’t somebody think of this before?
Reverend Rollins says we should deport them all and we can use American Medicaid recipients to pick the vegetables. Reverend Rollins offers there are millions of able-bodied Medicaid recipients who would gladly work as farm laborers under the hot sun, rather than to lose their healthcare. But it’s like they just grab at numbers without ever trying to understand them. The largest group of able-bodied Medicaid recipients are children! The next largest group are mothers of children.
Or we can use automation to pick the crops. We can build a machine that knows which tomatoes are ripe and which ones are aren’t. Machines that would never throw projectiles at Nazi thugs! Except maybe in some futuristic dystopian Terminator blockbuster. So, push that button and get those machines out there and pick that lettuce! Say, you don’t look so sick to me! It’s like they don’t put two seconds of thought into what they are saying. How will they decide who gets to stay home with the kids and who picks the vegetables? Or maybe, just bring the kids along!
Alright! All you lazy lot up in Appalachia! Get on the bus, we’re all going to California to pick a few strawberries. The plan makes no sense except perhaps on Fox News maybe. I’ve been watching a gentleman on the BBC who reads through Russian Newspapers. And listening to Russian propaganda makes me aware of how our own propaganda is sorely lacking. There is a propaganda gap, and we are falling behind!
The orange Fuhrer met with African representatives to counter the growing influence of the Chinese. Because whatever they can do, we can do better! Oiled up in a heavy coat of his expensive orange face paint, the great Dictator compliments the representative from Liberia on his English skills. Unaware that Liberia is an English-speaking country. Gee, did you know that? Somebody should have included that in his notes. What notes?
I really have to be fair about this. Because the representative from Mauritania began with a long rambling introduction about how our two countries being neighbors and all. And how their country was very poor, and the US was very rich. But they had minerals! Lots and lots of minerals! And then, the representative began to list them off, one by one. The Narcissist in Chief was visibly disturbed, and I could relate. He was running a bit long. Trump made hand gestures as if to say, “Come on, spit it out and get this over with!” After all, when the Narcissist in Chief gives you thirty seconds of his spotlight. How dare you take thirty-five.
What did you expect as guests of the King of the world, graciousness or polite indulgence? Come on, spit it out! Yeah, yeah, yeah neighbors’ minerals right, got it! His wormesty then went on to admonish the others to keep it short. Just your name and whatever god forsaken shit hole country you come from. I’m a busy man here! This is just a photo op, ya know! You keep it short, and I’ll pretend to care.
Business is so good on America’s car lots today. GMC is now offering 20% off of MSRP and Zero percent financing. Because they just can’t keep the trucks in stock! Lots of automakers are offering lots of deals because the new car market rapidly is drying up. Made in the USA and cheap too!
There are rumors going around on right wing nut ball circuits that the flash floods in Texas were caused by cloud seeding. Who remembers the Dominion lawsuit? And the rumors of crooked voting machines? Well, now they’re up in the clouds! Fox News asks, could this baseless conspiracy theory be true? Amplifying a baseless conspiracy theory through their megaphone. Repeating it early and often, in all different forms in all of their outlets. Was it? Could it be? Is that really possible? Trust me, the Russian would have done it better.
Why, what a wonderful way to change the subject. Never mind that the state government voted down flood warning alarm systems twelve times in twenty years! It was probably cloud seeding after all! It couldn’t be Republican cheap skate intransigence. It must be cloud seeding! A good conspiracy theory is always way better than the boring old truth. The Texas Legislature is about to open their new legislative session and first on the agenda is a flood warning alarm system. I’ll wager, it passes this time! Closing the barn door after the horse is out.
Republican Senator Tom Tillis, in his best pigeon Republican. Tries in vain to explain his vote against Trump’s big disastrous bill. Using euphemisms, while warning this is going to blow up in their faces. Tillis is no left-wing softy. Tillis is an A number one Capitalist stooge! And Tillis sees the handwriting on the wall and attempts to warn his brethren without saying anything which the public might interpret as bad news.
And in the wake of the Extreme (Rubber Stamp) Court approving Trump’s enabling acts. He may now begin to dismantle the Federal government. And he can then rebuild it in his own image! You work for me now … ya understand? You say what I tell you to say…have you got that? Bad news is no news and good news is all because of me! Filled with noxious daydreams and virulent nightmares.
“As I see it today, Hitler and Goebbels were in fact molded by the mob itself, guided by its yearnings and its daydreams. Of course, Goebbels and Hitler knew how to penetrate through to the instincts of their audiences; but in the deeper sense they derived their whole existence from these audiences. Certainly, the masses roared to the beat set by Hitler’s and Goebbels’ baton; yet they were not the true conductors. The mob determined the theme. To compensate for misery, insecurity, unemployment, and hopelessness, this anonymous assemblage wallowed for hours at a time in obsessions, savagery and license. The personal unhappiness caused by the breakdown of the economy was replaced by a frenzy that demanded victims. By lashing out at their opponents and vilifying the Jews, they gave expression and direction to fierce primal passions.” ― Albert Speer
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