By David Glenn Cox
In the annals of history, it will go down as never have so few tried so hard to do so little. It would almost be a comedy if it wasn’t so serious. I’m sure the Europeans and the Ukrainians are breathing a sigh of relief and snickering to themselves. “And we were afraid he was actually going to really try to do something.” What do you expect from a pig but a grunt?
One aspect I found genuinely appalling was the press coverage. NBC was playing this up like it was the Potsdam conference at the end of World War 2. Even the orange dictator had said there was only a 25% chance of anything happening. And in retrospect, that number seems overly ambitious now. NBC was issuing special breaking news bulletins. “They’re still talking!!!” The world waits with bated breath as these two great dictators decide the fate of life on earth itself!
Shakespeare once said, “All’s well that ends well.” So conversely, all that begins badly ends badly. As Putin got off his plane, he was greeted with a flyover of US military hardware. B-2 bombers and F-22 and F-35 fighter jets. And I’m almost certain Putin was asking himself, “What the fuck? This is a peace conference?” Did they think this was Tokyo Bay and the battleship Missouri? Did they really think such shenanigans would soften Putin up for negotiations?
Someone should be fired for this but won’t be. A stupid ham-handed stunt. “Let’s show him how tough we are! Let’s get all of our mighty weapons together and show him what for.” There is a photo and I’ll try to find it where Putin looks stunned, like he’s just stepped off of a terrifying roller coaster. We interrupt our regular broadcast to report this urgent news update. “They’re still talking! Maybe we shall survive, and life will go on into broad sunlit uplands!”
The two dictators met for two and a half hours. That sounds like a long time, but with formalities opening statements and translations involved, it really isn’t. And we interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to announce. “Nothing is happening! Nothing! Stay tuned for important future world shaking news bulletins!”
The world’s press were treated like flood victims in a high school gymnasium. With curtained cubicles complete with a rubber chicken lunch. You’re our guests and we’re so glad you could make it. Feel free to ask for seconds and help yourselves to all the Kool aid and pop tarts you want! Make yourself right at home in your eight foot by eight-foot cubicle. The Russian press was just as keyed up and excited as the American press. Here their great leader had made the American doofus jump through hoops to meet him in Alaska. They were expecting good things, and they didn’t even get McDonalds.
It went so badly that after the meeting, the planned banquet was cancelled by mutual agreement. “Tell him we don’t like pop tarts.” Putin was visibly anxious to leave. “Well, it was real nice to see you again, but I’ve got to go. I think I might have left the oven on back at home in Moscow. No, sorry, no time for lunch! You take those frozen chicken patties home with you! No thank you, we don’t care for any popsicles for dessert.
And then it was all over. The orange dictator offered in his own inimitable style to say. “There’s no deal until there’s a deal.” And there was no deal so, there was no deal. And with that profound statement, the lights went dim, and the press shuffled off back home. And with failure they rested. We interrupt our regular programming to announce, “There’s no deal!” Stay tuned to this channel for important breaking news updates! We return you now to “Live with Kelly and Mark” already in progress.
The orange dictator was hoping for a second meeting maybe, but it’s not to be. This was his big chance at playing the part of a world statesman and it went about as well as anything the Trump Administration ever attempts. One is left to wonder what Putin said on the way home. After absolutely nothing was accomplished. After the opening statements, Ukraine was hardly mentioned at all before it was snack time. Hot pockets, anyone? Diet Coke’s all around!
Did you happen to notice all of those fighter jets parked outside? We’ve got lots and lots of those! Ready to make a peace deal yet? Done and done. For Putin, it was a day wasted. For Trump, it was a great day to display his team of know-nothings, amateur’s and ex Fox News anchors to the world. Negotiations are over and won’t ever start again. It was a clown show. Amateurs playing at world politics as the news media played along with the gag.
All of Trump’s previous meetings with world leaders have been meet and greets. Where the king bovates about himself or his many possessions. This was his first meeting with a world leader with an actual goal. And it went so well! The banquet was cancelled, and everyone went home early. It was Trump’s first attempt at statesmanship, and it will probably be his last.
Who will now take him seriously enough to waste a day? The affair was billed as a listening exercise. But they wouldn’t listen. Trump was going to be the big bad wolf and scare Putin with his mighty wrath. But Putin wasn’t scared, he was offended. In the end it was a big waste of time for all concerned except maybe for the TV networks.
You can’t expect the incompetent to become competent even if they have weeks to prepare. I seriously doubt if anyone consulted the protocol books the State Department keeps on the shelf. Complete with a list of useful dos and don’ts. Helpful tidbits! Like don’t try to intimidate them. They will become offended and go home early.
“To each there comes in their lifetime a special moment when they are figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered the chance to do a very special thing, unique to them and fitted to their talents. What a tragedy if that moment finds them unprepared or unqualified for that which could have been their finest hour.” ― Sir Winston Churchill
Thank you for reading and supporting “This Carbon-Based Life” No pay walls or multilevel subscriptions. No merchandise, just an exchange of ideas. Truth in a time of lies.
This Carbon Based Life 
Leave a comment