By David Glenn Cox
Hurry, hurry, step right up to see the one, the only, round robin carnival of stupidity! (calliope music) You’ve heard of King Midas. Everything he touched turned to gold! Now, see, the mighty king Feces! Where everything he touches turns to shit!
The king of stupidity sent a private message to Pam Blondie, his wormy general. Demanding prosecution for all of the king’s political enemies. Only, it wasn’t a private message but a public tweet. What whoa! Should sanity and the rule of law ever return. Blondie’s is in big trouble thanks to king Feces. Just following orders didn’t work at Nuremberg, and it won’t work here. But even more to the point, the tweet represents a get out of jail free card for all the king’s enemies and prosecutions.
Just get your attorney to show the court the King’s tweet and wave goodbye! Blondie takes a steaming cowpie right in her kisser, courtesy of king Feces. Now, every prosecution she makes represents more potential jail time for herself.
The dumbest boy in Dumbledore and voted most likely to turn himself into a newt. Shady JD grows a beard trying to hide his face in plain sight. Making himself look like an immature juvenile Sasquatch or a furry catcher’s mitt. He appears on “This week” with George Stephanopoulos. George asks Shady JD about percolated Pete Hegseth, allowing a Qatari airbase in Idaho. Shady JD bows up and explodes. Calling it fake news and a leftist plot. Then George plays the video of 86 proof Pete saying exactly that. “Oh! That Qatari airbase! I thought you meant the Qatari airbase that wasn’t true.”
Is he done? No, not even close! George asks Shady JD about the $50,000 given to chief ICE thug Tom Holman. And Shady loses his shit! Accusing George of going down a leftist wormhole. George answers, I’m not going down any wormhole. The FBI has an audio tape of thug Holman accepting a $50,000 bribe. Did he turn in the money?
Shady gives a confused answer, certain to cinch up any future Holman prosecution. Were I ever on Holman’s jury. Shady JD’s confused and prevaricated answer alone would convince me of Holman’s guilt. Shady tried three times! First, Shady diverted the question to Holman’s income. Then he tries the old fake news gambit. Then blames George for asking, but never once could he come anywhere near answering the question of where the $50,000 went. In America, everyone is allowed the presumption of innocence. Except this guy! In five minutes flat, Shady put Holman behind the eight ball.
Did Holman take the money? Listening to Shady’s defense of Holman. I‘d vote, yes!
King Feces plays his little shit games. Threatening to move the FIFA World Cup soccer championship games out of (Dangerous) Democratically controlled cities. FIFA responds to the king’s challenge by stating that no one runs FIFA, but FIFA. And FIFA begins to move some of the games from the United Snakes to the safety of Canada and Mexico. You heard that right folks. The safety of Canada and Mexico. It’s only going to cost us a few billion dollars. Like forty billion or so maybe.
Let’s recap! King Feces sinks Blondie. Shady JD sinks Hegseth and Holman. The FIFA cup is in flight to “safer” locations prompted by the king’s big mouth. And the Olympic committee lifts its head asking, “He did what?” Do you know what really helps to foster international tourism? A 250-dollar up charge for a visa to visit the United Snakes. International tourists could use that money to visit Spain or Portugal where healthcare is free and gun crime is unheard of. Who knew? How could they have known that raising the cost of a visa to the highest level in the whole world would hurt tourism?
Then, two German travelers were held and interrogated for hours by Ice, then deported. Their phones were seized and illegally searched, prompting the German government to issue a travel advisory to any German stupid enough to want to visit the United Snakes. The same thing happened to two Australian travelers. Then faster than you could say TikTok, international travel fell off by 14%. Each and every event a self-inflicted wound. Never mind the administration enemies. It’s their friends who are killing them!
US stocks tumbled on Friday after the king threatened 100% tariffs on China. Stock markets around the world began to crater. When the king suddenly decided he wouldn’t do that after all. He doesn’t actually know what he’s doing. He’s just pushing buttons.
“Some very strange things are happening in China! They are becoming very hostile, and sending letters to Countries throughout the World, that they want to impose Export Controls on each and every element of production having to do with Rare Earths, and virtually anything else they can think of, even if it’s not manufactured in China. Nobody has ever seen anything like this but, essentially, it would “clog” the Markets, and make life difficult for virtually every Country in the World, especially for China.” – DJT
Gee, and Mr. Trump has been so good to China. I wonder why they would act that way? Why does Qatar want a base in the United Snakes for? For what purpose? To do what? Why here? To be the king’s royal Gestapo? Foreign troops on American soil.
Anyone with walking around sense and can see and feel what’s coming. Except, of course, the media. In their world, everything is fine. Just great! God is in his heaven and billionaires still control their jobs. Everything is as it should be! They are discontinuing the king’s popularity polling altogether. Henceforth, all polling will be segmented, so as to disguise the actual truth. The king’s popularity on the economy or the king’s popularity in foreign affairs, but henceforth never the king’s popularity overall.
They can’t see themselves from inside the bubble. They can’t see the carnival of stupidity. They stumble, tripping over each other and don’t read their own memos. It’s like Laurel & Hardy meets the Marx Brothers. This level of incompetence will never, ever be matched. Meanwhile, over in non-reality. The king wishes to build an Arc of Triumph in Washington. Just like the one Hitler had planned for Germania. What triumph are we supposed to be celebrating?
Hitler wanted to be buried in his arch, if that gives you any suggestions. The Pharaoh is planning his pyramid. The daydreams of a madman all lost in the spiderwebs of his fantasy world.
“There are three kinds of men. The ones that learn by readin’. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.”
― Will Rogers
Thank you for reading and supporting “This Carbon-Based Life” It would be even funnier if I didn’t live here.
This Carbon Based Life 
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