This Carbon Based Life

Look at those dialated pupils and red eyes!

By David Glenn Cox

It was a few months back when Karoline Goebbels Leavitt was tearfully pleading out her defense of the mango monstrosity. She said the orange goofus had more energy than anyone she’d ever seen. Unless he’s wearing a blue undershirt with a red S on it. There is no such thing as an eighty-year-old man with more energy than anyone she’s ever seen. He works all hours of the day and night for this country; she said.

All hours of the day and night? That defies logic, metabolism and physics. Maybe she meant it, or maybe it was just faint praise. But it was when the tinted tyrant visited Scotland and was terrorizing the EU president that I noticed something. A persistent American president who was unable to stop talking. A president who seemed to be chemically stimulated. It would explain so much. One day he’s up and cheerful and feisty. The next, slow talking, sullen and irritable.

Long-term side effects of amphetamine usage; Paranoia, mood swings, irritability, erratic behavior and rage. If demented Donny doesn’t read, how is it he tweets? It was putrid, peterless Pete Hegseth (Aka Flop Gun) who said Trump will call and text cabinet members in the middle of the night. Sure, that sounds normal. I went searching for the text of the terrible tyrant’s tedious tweet on Twuth Social, but it had been removed by Winston Smith. What had first caught my eye were several multi syllabled words used that didn’t much sound like the mentally muddled electric dimwit.

Baby Donny blew a gasket and pooped his pampers over the Canadian Ronald Ray Gun advertisement. He literally lost his shit and cancelled all further trade negotiations with Canada. Sure, that sounds normal. He ordered his puppet from the Ray Gun foundation to complain and, of course, characteristically to lie. Claiming the Canadians used the video unlawfully and without permission. Whatever a president says publicly is automatically public. It was just so much bluster and typical bullshit. Ronnie Ray Guns was a free trader. They were all free traders back in the day.

George Bush was a free trader, and Bill Clinton was a free trader too. Al Gore excoriated Ross Perot on national television for NOT being a free trader. What offended the elderly orange idiot was the truth of the ad. The Canadians had pierced his candy-coated shell and injected truth inside of his fantasy realm. RAGE! See above. The Canadians had proved there was no Santa Claus and had used Ronald Ray Guns to do it!

So, what does the tinted tyrant do? He cancels all trade negotiations with one of our largest trading partners because HE is personally offended. That sounds like normal behavior, doesn’t it? This is the guy with the nuclear codes! Raging in the middle of the night over a TV commercial. The rumors of doped up Donny have been persistent since his Apprentice days. Only now, he holds the keys to the drugstore and has his own Dr. Morell.

I be got a question. Knowing so little about the international cocaine distribution market. It strikes me as odd they would use such small boats incapable of reaching the United Snakes? I think if I were an international drug smuggler, I would use larger boats where the contraband could be hidden. But instead we’re told they prefer using open fishing boats with outboard motors. It’s only 1,700 nautical miles to Florida. Let’s take the thirty-foot fishing boat!

Why do these boats always appear to be empty? Why don’t they appear to be stacked to the gunnels with kilos of cocaine? Colombia has the nerve to complain about a murdered citizen and his whinesty cuts them off! “No soup for you!” Sure, plan Colombia has been going on for years now fighting drug trafficking the old-fashioned way, with surveillance and arrests. It just never occurred to them they could murder everyone in a small boat in cold blood. So the emotionally crippled king will fight drug trafficking by doing away with programs to fight drug trafficking.

Speed king Donny threatens Hamas in Gaza. They had better disarm or else! Or else demented Donny will go in there after them and disarm them himself. Israel had sent an army into Gaza with tanks and jet planes unsuccessfully trying to disarm Hamas for over a year. But Donny threatens he will do it without sending any American troops. Never mind how, he said he’d do it! It’s a secret plan! Never mind how, don’t ask! Magic Donny has it all figured out!

Forty billion dollars was spent trying to prop up the Argentine peso. And it was like pissing on a forest fire. Billy Durant, the founder of GM, had tried to stop the stock market crash in 1929 by using his own money to buy up stocks, hoping to stop the slide. It failed. Ditto Argentina. Forty billion dollars barely slowed the collapse down for a day or two. It was like throwing water balloons at Godzilla.

But in the midst of a government shutdown, which Donny himself had engineered. He will now fly away, abandoning tens of millions of Americans without SNAP benefits. Government employees without paychecks, but miraculously an anonymous donor volunteered to illegally pay the military. The military works for the US, not some anonymous donor. The meathead monarch is trying to subvert his constitutional duty. He is willing to starve American children and the elderly just so that he can cut their healthcare. The most foul and reprehensible act in all of American history.

Illinois governor Pritzker has called for a general strike. It should start with the unpaid air traffic controllers. If the shutdown isn’t settled by a certain date, the Air Traffic controllers should walk out. Stick that up your nose and snort it! The controllers should start their own government shutdown. No air traffic? No need for customs or TSA employees. These government employees should recognize that every time they clock in, they are assisting in the destruction of this country.

It’s time to take the gloves off and fight fire with fire. It’s time to understand that it’s only going to get worse by itself. You can’t play chicken with a madman; you have to show him you mean it. Transit workers and toll booth operators should also walk out. If they understood what waits ahead for them anyway, they most certainly would walk. Airline pilots and stewards. Then, locomotive engineers and ship captain’s. Sending the message that we are a free people and will not be starved out or run rough-shod over.

“At what point, then, should one resist? When one’s belt is taken away? When one is ordered to face into a corner? When one crosses the threshold of one’s home? An arrest consists of a series of incidental irrelevancies, of a multitude of things that do not matter, and there seems no point in arguing about one of them individually…and yet all these incidental irrelevancies taken together implacably constitute the arrest. ” ― Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn

“Let us therefore animate and encourage each other, and show the whole world that a Freeman, contending for liberty on his own ground, is superior to any slavish mercenary on earth.” ― George Washington

Thank you for reading and supporting “This Carbon-Based Life.” It’s better to die for a good cause than to cringe and grovel for a bad one.