By David Glenn Cox
“Trick or Treat!” Oh, my, what do you kids want? I have Butterfingers, Hershey bars and Kit Kats. Which do you kids want? “I want a ham sandwich! I want a glass of milk! I want a cheeseburger!”
Not since the invention of jalapeno hemorrhoid cream has there been such concentrated stupidity in such a small space. Forget Jason with his chain saw, these numbers are truly frightening. Prompting the question. Is this really the hill Republicans wish to die on? Americans, by a margin of two to one, blame Republicans for the government shutdown.
Sixty percent of Republican voters support renewing the ACA subsidies. 57% of Maga Republican morons support renewing the ACA subsidies. Overall, the number rises to 78% of Americans favor continuing the subsidies. Are you really sure you want to do this? Are you? Huh? 12% of Americans received SNAP benefits. And most elections are decided by far less than half of that amount. Resident Hrump won his election by 1.5%
America’s second dumbest man, Tommy Tupperware. Alabama Republican senator and millionaire looks into the camera and bleats out Republican talking points. “It’s a bunch of able-bodied inner-city men who just need to get a job and go to work.” i.e. Blacks. 900,000 Alabamians receive SNAP benefits. And Toomy just told his constituents to eat shit and die! That sort of racist rhetoric may play well in a hooded campaign rally, but this is a little different. People know you’re lying when you’re talking about them! All he needs to do now for the trifecta is to call them fat and ugly.
I read a funny headline last night on Bloomberg. “Chinese Exporters (and Me) Doubt the Hrump and XI Tariff Truce Will Last.” Count me in with the Chinese exporters. Orange man speak with forked tongue! His word ain’t worth nothing! Don’t look now, but orange Einstein just traded the family cow for a handful of magic soybeans sales. The Chinese get the high-tech computer chips they’ve been hankering after and we get the promise they will buy some soybeans. The deal is only for one year because the Chinese figure it will only take them that long to reverse engineer these chips, the Biden Administration had denied them on national security grounds.
Indian Prime Minister Modi was a no show at the summit. He refused to attend because of you know who. Hollow headed Hrump, has been bragging that he stopped the war between India and Pakistan. The Indians virulently deny this. The other day, the orange anti-Christ was explaining how he did that while using his fake Indian accent to explain. Sure, Indians love it when you imitate their accents. Especially when Donald Hrump does it.
Watch this clever negotiating strategy. Before going in to hammer out this one-sided trade deal with China. Hrump announces we’re going to start nuclear testing again. AKA, FEAR US! “I, the great and powerful OZ, have spoken!” The US first proposed a nuclear test ban back in the 1960s because the US was way ahead in nuclear testing. And a test ban treaty would lock that advantage in place. Nuclear threats are what Vladimir Putin uses every time Ukraine kicks Russia in the testicles. Nobody is scared by it anymore. Everyone knows it’s just the Russian bully trying to act tough. Or in this case half-wit Hegseth, and the forty-ounce, I mean, voice Bud Lite moron choir.
The toxic Taco was desperate for a deal and arrived in Korea with his Sharpie in his hand, ready to sign. The message was received back at Fort Chicken shit. The farmers were off the reservation and on the warpath. Don’t just stand there! Do something stupid!
The bleed over is about to begin. The other day, they announced airport delays were running about an hour. Yesterday, it was announced the delays had grown to… Watch this attempt to be clever on the complicit media’s part. They could have said the delays were over two- and one-half hours. But instead, they called it 161 minutes. See? That’s not so bad! It’s just a few minutes. Chances are it will be even more minutes today. And now, you’re talking about airline profits and Wall Street will begin to take notice. Planes not flying means refunds and losses. Connecting flights not reached.
The Federal Reserve estimates the shutdown has already cost $14 billion dollars in lost GDP, never to be found. How many Americans will now drive to Grandma’s for the holidays, rather than fighting the snarled skies or camped out in an airport somewhere eating cold turkey sandwiches?
And it’s one more day, and one more financial institution in big trouble. Fiserv is a middleman that processes financial transactions while promising fiscal compliance. Their 3rd quarter earnings were off and their stock price dropped 47% in a single day. The problem, it seems, that Fiserv was too strict about that compliance thing. The banks were looking for less strict and more flexible compliance. Nothing says a roaring economy quite like bankers looking for compliance flexibility. Look the other way once in a while, will ya? Or we’re out of here! The bankers are tightening their belts too! And dropping expensive outside services for lessor internal compliance. AKA, get an intern to do it.
But tonight at midnight comes the witching hour. They live on hopium now. Comedian and Trump target Kathy Griffin says that her former years of drug abuse tell her that Hrump is buzzed, bouncing between Loritab and Adderall. My experience in amateur pharmacology agrees. It was just nice to hear someone else say it.
It’s like that last scene in the film Thelma and Louise. Only Hrump is driving and the Republican Party is in the back seat. You can only Gerrymander close elections. You can’t Gerrymander blow out elections. So look at Republican redistricting efforts not as attempts to steal congressional seats, but as lifeboats trying to preserve bits and broken pieces of a shattered political party. How many Republican Kamikaze pilots are out there willing to crash their careers for their orange emperor? We shall find out tonight at midnight.
Once the subsidies are gone, and the new insurance rates are set in stone. Grocery stores will have to increase security. Someone will have to ride shotgun on grocery deliveries. During the Hoover depression, they had food riots. Someone would grab food off of the grocery store shelf and run out the door with it. Prompting everyone in the store to do the same. Caesar passed out bread because it was cheaper than rebuilding Rome after the riots.
Push people over the edge and watch what happens next. It’s cheaper and wiser to feed them all than it is to fight them all.
“Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.
Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder’s fork and blind-worm’s sting,
Lizard’s leg and owlet’s wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.” – William Shakespeare
“If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.” – John F. Kennedy
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