This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

I wanted to share an example of just how tightly scripted the media is in North Korea. It’s almost, but not quite, as scripted as it is in the United Snakes. Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy announces “Scary, Scary, dark music, with deep forebodings. The government may have to shut down airspace if the government shut down continues.” Are you frightened yet?

I watched three independent TV news reports from three different locations and networks across the country, all saying exactly the same thing. “Long lines! Cancelled flights, but it’s now so bad right now.” Scare them and then repair them. Dip and rinse, dip and rinse.

Then scruffy Duffy said the most inane thing I think I’ve ever heard. “I don’t even know why we’re shut down!” How could you be a cabinet secretary and not know why the government is shut down? I forgot, my bad, this is Hrump administration. Yes, that explains it! Are you on opioids? The Republicans (your co-workers) Don’t want to extend the ACA Obamacare subsidies. Oh, they say they do. They say just trust us and kick the football and we’ll get on those subsidies, first chance we get, Charlie Brown. Democrats (the other guys) want the subsidies extended first. The Republicans answer, “Oh, you can trust us, we will! We promise! Just kick the football, Charlie Brown.”

This comment from little Mikey half-pint Himmler Johnson had me doubled over in laughter. As famous a Freudian slip as you’ll ever hear in your life. Little Mikey had his marching orders and was sent out to do as he’s told. He was explaining about doing away with the filibuster parroting the Resident. When he said, If the Democrats get back in power, they will try to impeach Donald Trump on day one! “Oh, yes! It is my fondest hope and you too, little baboo!” He continued, “then the Democrats” (are you ready?) will try to undo all of the reforms we’ve done TO the American people.” Not For the American people. But TO the American people. Whoops!

You know how Republicans like to say the Democrats give trophies away just for showing up? The Resident was so upset by the Democratic landslide. The Treasury Department made a special announcement congratulating the Resident on his election win one year ago. Babies must always be placated always. Here you go, here’s a prize for you too, Donald! The best Resident ever this year award. Don’t cry, the elections weren’t so bad. We have a prize for you too!

The idea that after thirty-four days of government shutdown, the transportation secretary is confused as to why? I bet the TSA and air traffic controllers aren’t confused and could fill him in. They haven’t been paid, but Duffy probably hasn’t been told about that yet. On Halloween night, there was a near miss out of LAX as a pilot was given incorrect instructions and had to be warned to stop ascending immediately! It’s a screwy scenario where the administration really doesn’t seem to get it.

Not extending the ACA credits is unpopular even with MAGA Republicans. Not extending SNAP benefits is unpopular even with general Republicans. Shutting down the government for a month is widely unpopular, and the public blames the Republicans and even Hrump admits it’s so! Gee, I wonder why the public blames Chief Crazy pants? Is Sean’s TV broken? Did he not see what happened Tuesday night? I bet Sean Duffy would answer, “No, what?”

On a whim while being dim, Chief Crazy Pants announces he’s going to restart nuclear testing! Ain’t that great? Today, Vladimir Putin announced he would also restart nuclear testing. Great play ace! Have a banana, you’ve just started a new nuclear arms race. Bravo! Five will get you twenty, it was half-wit Pete Hegseth’s idea! The first defense secretary with his own theme music. “Macho, macho man! I’ve got to be a macho man!” I bet; little Mikey Johnson’s theme music would be “Porn free! As free as the tits show as free as the dick grows! Porn free to follow your heart.” Secretly, his favorite would be “YMCA! It’s fun to stay at the YMCA! It’s mind-boggling an administration with a death wish.

The economy is showing ominous signs. Warren Buffet is staying in cash and out of the market. There are fears the Artificial Idiocy bubble is about to burst. Home prices are starting to fall. Inflation has sucked the life out of consumer spending. And the administration throws gasoline on the fire with a self-inflicted government shutdown. What could they be possibly thinking? “Maybe we should try to act normal for a little while?” Normal? Badges? We don’t need no stinking badges!

The rusty relic resident is freaking out! The crisp is off his corn flakes! He’s gotten soggy in his Adderall haze. The 25^th Amendment has failed us. We need a new constitutional amendment for a presidential recall vote every bi-year election. Up or down, crazy as fuck, or it’ll be fine.

The air traffic control situation grows more dangerous by the hour and could lead to a needless catastrophe any minute. The Resident Republicans just don’t care. They make Marie Antionette look like Santa Claus. Let them eat nothing! Let them go without health care! Let them drop like flies! See if we care? 

A supreme court of injustices hears the case of the Resident’s tariffs. If the octogenarian ogre thought, Tuesday was bad. Wednesday wasn’t his day either. It was all going along swimmingly until the injustices called the court to order. Then the first lawyer said, “Tariffs are taxes!” And it all went downhill from there. Basically, that was it. That was the whole case. Taxes can only be levied by congress. And the extreme court seemed to agree.

The extreme court would support the rusted Resident if they could but were stuck because the case is so crystal clear. As Neil Gorsuch put it. Some Democratic President could use the same case to invoke 50% tariffs on gas powered automobiles, citing an environmental emergency. If the ruling goes against the Resident…look out!  It would mean all of this criminal administration’s plans are in the dumper. And his soap box derby racer just lost a wheel.

The administration would have to punt with the impossible task of starting all over again. If Hrump has any plans to defy the court’s decision, this would be the one. And up until Tuesday, he might have gotten away with it. The Republicans in congress were rattled by Tuesday’s election results. They are no longer certain they want to go over on a lemming jump with the Resident. They’re unwilling to do away with the filibuster. They can read the tea leaves. The resident has even lost sycophant number one, Lindsey Graham. When you’ve lost Lindsey, you’ve lost the ball game.

Republicans will still smile and say yes sir, but behind closed doors it’s over. The resident’s insanity is tearing the country and their party to pieces. The madman in chief proposes starving babies, children, women and old people. His shutdown is heading for disaster. It was always an all-or-nothing strategy and because he can’t have it all. He gets nothing!

“Dictatorship, by whatever name, is founded on the doctrine that the individual amounts to nothing; that the State is the only one that counts; and that men and women and children were put on earth solely for the purpose of serving the state.” ― Harry S. Truman

“The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it’s profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater.” ― Frank Zappa

When the government turns on the people. Invariably, the people will turn on the government.