This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

“Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.” ― Mark Twain

In the classic film, “A Face in the Crowd” Andy Griffith plays a country guitar playing philosopher on the radio who charms his audience. But behind the façade, Griffith (Lonesome Rhodes) is a snarling, vindictive tyrant. (Think: Ellen DeGeneres) Until he is finally exposed by an open microphone. I think we are approaching Trump’s open mike moment ourselves.

The king of corruption has been cranky of late. Setting aside that, it’s a clear symptom of dementia. The king seems to always target his vitriol at women. It’s not their publications or their networks, it’s their genitalia, which offends him. “You are a stupid person!” Such behavior seems to always point to “Mommy Problems.” Mommy didn’t love me enough. Mommy made me eat all my peas. Mommy yelled at me when I missed the toilet and hit the rim. Paging, Sigmund Freud! Clean up on aisle five.

Plus, there is the known fact that Trump is a bully. He surrounds himself with women because, in his sadism, he enjoys hurting women. Ask Jeffrey Epstein, he’ll tell you. He likes being surrounded by women and weak-kneed men because they can’t threaten his masculinity. The king of corruption was asked when he would release the video, he promised to release of the navy murdering the innocent fishermen. He shot back, “I didn’t say that. That’s – you said that, I didn’t say that. This is ABC fake news.”

But we all heard him say it! Who changed my TV off of the Animal Planet! I left it on the Animal Planet and someone has changed it! When I find out who…Dementia, delusion or distraction? The crack about ABC is typical and inconsequential. Who are you? The Pope of Rome, oh. Fake Italian news. There have been many Republican defections and defecations of late. But who does Trump go after with both barrels? Marge Taylor Greene.

It’s almost as if he appoints unqualified women so that when they fail, he can do a victory lap shouting, I told you so! Alina Habba is gone and they say Kristi Noem is on thin ice. That’s what she gets for trying to please him. Noem disobeyed a court order, while percolated Pete Hegseth, commits war crimes hanging another huge scandal on the doorknob of the Trump Administration, but who is in trouble? Who’s rumored about to be fired?

But it got me to thinking about the other women in Trump’s life. His wife Malaria Trump, the first victim. When seen together, the couple never smile or make small talk with each other. Malaria famously slapped his hand away and smiled a little smile at Emmanuel Macron. (Call me) She’s almost like a performer who is allowed on stage, just long enough to do her tricks. (No pun intended) At the Republican convention, Malaria got out of the car and never stopped. She walked and waved, crossing the stage and then got back in the car. The king will brook no rivals. She is a bird in an orange cage. To do her job and then get back in the cage.

What does she do with her free time? Don’t know. What are her hobbies, besides wearing funny hats and spending money? Don’t know. She isn’t a person, she’s a stage prop. Whose office did the king tear down again? The Christmas trees are here, you have two minutes. And then, back in the box. I can only imagine what goes on behind closed doors.

Mommy doesn’t love me! Well, I’ll get back at her. Just you wait and see! Then, there is the creepazoid relationship Trump has with his daughter. Sigmund Freud! Stat! Saying if she weren’t his daughter, he would date her. “Whoa, get the tranquilizer darts ready.” One of Epstein’s victims said Trump was attracted to her because she reminded him of you know who. Why don’t you love me, mommy? I’m a good boy. Why did you ship me off to military school with the goddamn Finkelstein shit kid, Mommy?

Why does the king have so little to do with his sons, Tootles and Eric? Okay, it is understandable, but still not normal. Were they even invited for Thanksgiving dinner? You two sit over at that table in the corner by the kitchen and don’t talk to anybody. But as the king melts down, his mommy problems seem to percolate up towards the surface. Go fuck up the rose garden again or something and leave me alone! I’m busy!

Yesterday, when the king announced his made-for TV farm bailout. Agriculture Secretary Brook Rollins corrected the king. He said twelve billion and Rollins answered, “Eleven billion, plus one billion for specialty crops.” The king shot her such a Dealey Plaza glance. You never correct the king! Quiet Piggy! The media were ecstatic, because they can’t do basic math. The king will solve a forty-billion-dollar problem with twelve, excuse me, eleven-billion-dollar bailout. But this is Donald Trump we’re talking about. He says a lot of things which never come to pass. Don’t write any checks against it. “I didn’t say that. That’s – you said that, I didn’t say that. This is ABC fake news.”

The king’s plan to assist Russia in exchange for oil leases has fallen flat. Do I still get my oil leases? In his anger, the king calls our European allies “Weak.” But they were strong enough to scuttle his phony bologna plan. The United Snakes no longer have any allies in Europe, besides Russia. They are all weak and not strong like he is murdering innocent fishermen and picking on girls. China threatens Japan and the king remains silent. Oh, that’s right, Japan has a female Prime Minister now.

Hosting the Kennedy Center honors or dishonoring because what else does he have to do with his time? Which way to the ladies’ dressing rooms? The king declares he can do a much better job of hosting than Jimmy Kimmel ever could. But Jimmy Kimmel has never hosted the affair. That was Stephan Colbert. Shh! Don’t tell him that. You know how he can get when he’s corrected. That’s right boss, you were much better than Jimmy Kimmel!

Our man Caligula! Out of his mind and surrounded by sycophants. A walking disaster of mental miscarriages. It reminds me of the film “Psycho” Is his mummified mother stretched out in the Lincoln Bedroom? I just remodeled the bathroom Mother; I hope you like it!

“An entire gullible nation believed faithfully in Santa Claus. But Santa Claus was really the Gasman.” ― Günter Grass