This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Merry Christmas to all you America hating leftist scum. Finally, a president who gets the true meaning of Christmas. Santa escaped from ICE this year like a Venezuelan oil tanker. ICE wanted to stop jolly old Saint Nick because he had no passport and no work visa inside the United Snakes. Plus, he was bringing in a load of untaxed, untariffed toys. The reindeer weren’t vaccinated and had no permit from the department of Agriculture and his vehicle had no FAA approval.

But Santa is real and brought us all a gift. In a display of incompetence, we’ve all begun to expect from President Krampus. It appears that all which can  be redacted can also be unredacted. DOGE in an effort to save the government’s precious pennies cancelled Adobe pro level. Which means anyone, even regular Joe’s and Jane’s, just like you and me, can unredact all of those Epstein files at home for fun and profit! In this capitalist jungle, you need the professional level Adobe to make redactions permanent! Thank you, Santa!

Just think of the thousands of overtime hours wasted redacting documents so easily exposed. But under the Trump regime, how could it be any other way? To err his human and to really fuck up is Trump. Standby; the fireworks are coming! President Krampus took calls from children on Christmas Eve. Because he’s such a nice man and could speak on their level. Explaining how good clean coal wasn’t such a bad gift after all. Then he took a call from little Cindy Lou Who. Asking. “How old are you, Cindy?” I’m eight years old. “You sound really cute.” Creep alert going off. “Have you ever been on an airplane, Cindy? Do you wanna go to a party?”

The European Union sent Christmas greetings to President Krampus. “Lay one finger on Greenland and it’s war!” It’s nice, when distant relatives remember you at Christmas. Because the economy is doing so well, and there is no inflation at all. Thousands of chain and independent restaurants are shutting down for good from coast to coast. The restaurateurs say they would like to stay open to take advantage of this wonderful economy but claim the people have stopped coming. Despite the president’s assurances, they insist their costs are going up to prohibitive levels. Who are you going to believe? The Resident or the folks writing the checks?

A raging economy so wonderful, the whiskey maker Jim Beam is shutting down for the year. Slow sales are given as the season for the reason. Not tariffs or international boycotts. And certainly not from the boycott from our fifty-first state. President Krampus threatens to withhold visas from diplomats denying free speech AKA anyone who calls out Trump’s racism or xenophobia. Europe threatens to respond in kind. “God bless us, everyone!” They say Las Vegas is a good place to read a book by the bright lights these days, if you want to be alone. Things are going along so well some casinos are turning off their lights after eleven o’clock to save money on electricity.

The Sphere, Las Vegas’s 2.5-billion-dollar attention getter, is a major success. Garnering attention by losing 200 million dollars, in its first year. The construction continues on the guitar shaped hotel “The Hard Rock” hotel, tentatively renamed the Hard Luck hotel or the heartbreak hotel. Some day they will teach a class in business school entitled, “Don’t ever do this!” Vegas decided to focus on the high rollers and run off the little people wasting their time and electricity. Renting hotel rooms and spending their little pennies. Now profits have fallen by 30% in a business with a 30% profit margin. How are your business math skills?

And the winners are the casino’s everywhere else. Time was when Vegas had a near monopoly on gambling and casinos. Now they are right around the corner, but Vegas was famous for treating people right. Big hotel rooms at reasonable prices with sumptuous buffets like you just couldn’t get at home. Once Las Vegas was special. But now you can be treated like shit at home and save the airfare. Give Las Vegas back to the mafia, they did a better job of running it.

It’s not a recession if you say it’s not. If you have all of your friends in the purchased media, promise not to talk about it. But if you watch the local news stories about the local automobile factory shutting down in Kentucky or the distillery that has been in business for120 years. First shutdown…ever! The meat packing plant in Nebraska laying off 3,200 workers in a community of 11,000. The two-billion-dollar battery plant in Georgia that will never open.

Farmers being pummeled by low prices and soybean farmers struggling to find customers at any price. Car dealerships closing their doors. Santa is bringing us all a dose of reality this Christmas. The economy is sliding into recession and because it’s not being talked about and truth dare not be discussed, it will continue to slide. Shh, don’t say the R word in front of you know you.

What did it take to break the Trump spell? Struggle! A president who declares all is well while all is not well. And thanks to president stable genius, trade is down and our foreign debt is up. Exactly the opposite of what they promised. A record number of Republicans are leaving office and not running for reelection. They can read tea leaves and can see the impending brick wall ahead.

Donald Trump’s Christmas performance has been horrendous and calls into real question. How much longer can he be allowed to go on like this? How much longer can they deny reality?

To us there has come a time, in the midst of swift happenings, to pause for a moment and take stock- to recall what our place in history has been, and to rediscover what we are and what we may be. If we do not, we risk the real peril of isolation, the real peril of inaction.

Lives of Nations are determined not by the count of years, but by the lifetime of the human spirit. The life of a man is threescore years and ten: a little more, a little less. The life of a Nation is the fullness of the measure of its will to live.

There are men who doubt this. There are men who believe that democracy, as a form of government and a frame of life, is limited or measured by a kind of mystical and artificial fate that, for some unexplained reason, tyranny and slavery have become the surging wave of the future—and that freedom is an ebbing tide.

But we Americans know that this is not true. – Franklin Delano Roosevelt

 “But you were always a good man of business, Jacob,’ faltered Scrooge, who now began to apply this to himself.

Business!’ cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again. “Mankind was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business. The deals of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!”  ― Charles Dickens