This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

The subject came up innocently enough; I suppose. One of the unnamed oil company executives at the big White House confab was heard to ask, “How bad does Donald Trump stink? I say unnamed, but if I were a wagering man, I’d guess it was ExxonMobil because of the sharp rebuke they received from the President. Maybe somehow, Trump got wind of the comment about his fragrance. Which was described as the smell of roast beef gone bad. Punctuated by noticeable farting at regular intervals.

Now, this was a meeting of industry CEOs and not politicians. So commenting on the president’s body odor isn’t considered out of bounds. The CEOs don’t have to run for reelection, and unlike Forrest Gump, they probably won’t be returning to the White House anytime soon. But the comment is indicative of current affairs. It seems Trump is souring and beginning to go bad. He’s turning and becoming toxic. And as we all know, there was a time when no one would dare to say anything negative about Trump. Even if he smelled like a filthy men’s room on a tuna boat. A time when they might follow you home and beat you up for saying such things about their smelly Jesus.

I suppose the comment came out of someone’s frustration. Having to sit and listen to an old man rambling who doesn’t know what he’s talking about most of the time. When as CEOs, they are used to telling people to sit down and be quiet. But Trump was said to have wandered over to the window several times and digressed off subject as is known to happen. When a year ago, no one would have dared to mention it. ExxonMobil said Venezuela  was a bad idea, period. Halliburton said it wasn’t safe. And Mr. Trump is famous for his short fuse. He’s an addled old man spoiled by yes monkeys who always answer, “Good idea, boss!” He is unfamiliar with the reality of the outside world bursting in on him.

The problems seem to be mounting, and Trump is becoming more rigid and extreme. Cancelling money for Democratically led states losing in court, rinse and repeat. His I’ll take Greenland proposal has met a great deal of pushback. More than he’d expected, I’d wager. His popularity is plumbing new depths, and his problems and scandals are multiplying by the hour. Three weeks ago was the deadline to release all of the Epstein files and thus far, the administration has only released nine-tenths of one percent. Congress is seeking to appoint a special master to take over the project. Taking the files out of the protective hands of the Justice Department and thus losing control of them. The files must be really terrible to fight so hard against their release.

The ICE protests continue across the country over the murder of Renee Good. The administration can’t seem to find its feet and are buffeted by loss after loss. Congress is beginning to turn on him. But even more dangerous than that. Trump is beginning to lose the thundering herd. The MAGA morons are starting to ask themselves, “Wait a minute, something is wrong. I’ve lost my job, the farm is going under, my health insurance just doubled and now, he’s president of Venezuela?” The MAGA mob isn’t burning him in effigy just yet, but they aren’t flying Trump flags on their pickup trucks anymore either. Old dictators never die; they just fade away.

Mr. Trump, in his megalomania, has stopped explaining to the mob. He expects them to just follow, like the mindless drones they’ve always been before. But it’s hard to make them understand how invading Venezuela, Greenland, Cuba and now Iran are America First. While the reality of a sinking economy and rising health insurance costs, along with murder in the street are somehow beneficial. The mob has always been trained to believe it was the Democrats who would do those things.

Mr. Trump needs a distraction, and so pivots to more bellicose remarks about possible airstrikes in Iran. Because nothing says America First quite like airstrikes in Iran. He wants to protect the demonstrators in the streets of Tehran from possible harm by their government. Even in the low-IQ zoo, the irony is unmistakable. But the mullahs in Iran also need something to change the mood of the crowd. And nothing does that for them quite like the Great Satan threatening airstrikes. Mr. Trump inadvertently becomes the mullah’s best friend. “Come on, say some more!” Help us demonize these protestors as being in cahoots with the United States.

Just another indication of a foreign policy in complete disarray. It’s all gone wrong! And it’s beginning to smell like Trump on a hot day. Canada is building Gripen fighter planes, which they will someday export to Europe. Bye, bye, aviation industry. Canada is also upgrading its port in Churchill, Manitoba. To process all of their agricultural products, which used to be shipped through the United States. People get into habits and seldom change unless forced to change. Mr. Trump’s tariffs have forced them to change for good economic reasons. And once changed, they seldom change back under a friendlier administration. Gone and gone forever, bye, bye.

Who remembers Steve Whitkoff’s peace negotiations in Ukraine? Just another raging success of the Trump administration. While Ukraine has attended every meeting and made concessions, Russia has repeatedly said Nyet! And after months and months of Russia saying Nyet. The administration still doesn’t understand that they’re being played by the Russians for domestic consumption. “Russia Stands Strong Against American Pressure!”

If it weren’t for bad foreign policy, we wouldn’t have a foreign policy at all. Seven European nations have all signed a diplomatic note. A diplomatic note is a formal way nations communicate when they aren’t playing around. Neville Chamberlain sent Germany a formal diplomatic note in 1939. This diplomatic note said, hands off Greenland or else. Mr. Trump answered with, “we’re going to take it the easy way or the hard way.” Does that sound like America First to you? Does that sound like it has any basis in common sense?

Mr. Trump has isolated this country from the rest of the world. We have no allies, none. As bad as his foreign policy is, his domestic policy is even worse. Trump threatens to veto the Affordable Care Act subsidies if they cross his desk. Does he not understand that the midterms are coming and he could take them away again next year? It’s the madness of King George. He’s losing his grip on reality. So he begins a phony investigation into the Federal Reserve Chair. The Fed chair’s term ends in May anyway. But that’s not good enough. Trump wants the privilege of saying, “Jetson, You’re fired!”

Congress responds by proposing an investigation of the Justice Department. The Congress is beginning to see the Trump administration as an existential threat to prosperity, more than just a political threat at the midterms. Trump’s body odor and noxious anal emissions are becoming a perfect metaphor for the Trump administration overall. It’s the coming end of days.

“To defend the oppressed against their oppressors, to plead the cause of the weak against the strong who exploit and crush them, this is the duty of all hearts that have not been spoiled by egoism and corruption… It is so sweet to devote oneself to one’s fellows that I do not know how there can be so many unfortunates still without support or defenders. As for me, my life’s task will be to help those who suffer and to pursue through my avenging speech those who take pleasure in the pain of others. How happy I will be if my feeble efforts are crowned with success and if, at the price of my devotion and sacrifices, my reputation is not tarnished by the crimes of the oppressors I will fight.”  ― Maximilien de Robespierre