This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

So, which of these statements do you think got Kristi Noem fired? The one where she didn’t admit but couldn’t deny her well-known, long-running, secret love affair with Corey Lewandowski? Or maybe my favorite, the one where Noem was asked about the $200 million spent on her personal ad campaign. The President authorized you to spend that money? “Yes!” In the first case, everyone already knew about Noem and her boy toy, except for maybe one person. And in Trump’s defense; with all he has on his plate right now. Plus, his limited capabilities. I’ll give him a pass on not being up to date on the latest palace gossip.

High drama being asked shotgun style. Are you now or did you ever have sex with Corey Lewandowski? With her husband sitting behind her as Kristi gives the long and winding road answer to say “No” while nodding “yes.” That divorce case is going to be dynamite. Admitting under oath on coast-to-coast national TV with her husband in the room to having an affair. Just the public humiliation is bad enough, but to lose the job too! And the boyfriend lost his job too. Boo Hoo!

The humiliation of being the first cabinet secretary bounced from the Trump administration. Must be like being voted the dumbest of the three stooges. It is a cardinal error to throw your shit at the emperor’s clean laundry. Noem passed the buck in the wrong direction. You can’t mean the President authorized $200 million for cosplay videos of yourself on horseback? “Oh, yes.” Jetson! You’re fired!

The palace is all of intrigue, Little Marco doesn’t like Noem or Lewandowsky, and the feeling is mutual. The factions are beginning to separate and to go after their respective enemies. But it’s dangerous to bring such bad news to the king. If you mention the affair and the king already knows, you’re a gossip, carrying tales. If you don’t tell and he finds out by other means. That would probably be better. If Trump knew but didn’t care about the affair. Noem just put Trump on the hot seat. She blamed the boss for her own problems. That’s the kiss of death.

State Department ONE, and Department of Homeland Security Nothing! Decapitation strike successful! Political blood in the water. But no one goes home disappointed here in the Trump regime. Trump has named Noem to be his special envoy to polyester and Lichtenstein. And of course, a set of Samsonite luggage and the home version of “Trump Regime 2.0” along with a host of other lovely parting gifts. Including “Rice a Roni” the San Francisco treat.  It’s a flare point; they’re taking each other out. What sort of office demeanor does that describe to you?

What the king doesn’t know won’t hurt him, and the king doesn’t know too much. And they like it like that. He’s liable to explode into a rage, shouting with those red and bulging eyes of his, first thing in the morning. And in typical Trump efficiency, Noem was fired publicly before being notified personally. The red king shouts, “Off with her head” and that’s it! Imagine you finish your little speech and the first question the reporters ask you is, “How did you learn about your firing?” Here comes the bus!

86-proof Pete Hegseth reminds me of an 11^th grader playing the part of Buck Turgidson in the high school remake production of Doctor Strangelove. Pete’s amplitude modulation is way over the top. Like he’s trying to imitate a great war general or something. He’s so certain of victory with a nervous tremor in his voice, he begins to sound more like Axis Sally. When you’re in trouble and you really don’t know what to do. Talk a bit louder! Bluster, and above all, display certainty.

I find it difficult to believe this guy is really in charge of anything. I see Pete proposing, and the generals and admirals mumbling under their breath together. Before shaking their heads in unison , answering, “No, we won’t do that.” Just because he’s got the gavel and the big desk doesn’t mean he’s really in charge. Pete’s a lightweight in a heavyweight world. A National Guard major promoted to Defense Secretary. That should fit you in nicely. Generals and admirals are well disposed to taking orders from a National Guard major. If you look through the cracks, you will begin to see the raging dysfunction at work.

The Justice Department loses in court again. The Justice Department always loses in court these days. Justice Department lawyers are being sanctioned and criticized. But the building is empty. Hundreds of career prosecutors have left the Justice Department. Leaving behind the dregs and the new people, and lots of empty desks.

It takes on the appearance of an administration of Sharks and Sheep. Little boys and girls play-acting at being tough. Try to keep the support of a fickle geriatric leader. Playacting to please an audience of one. While the shark swims just beneath the surface, just waiting for just the right moment to strike. With her husband in the room! Noem was chewed up and spit out. Welcome my son. Welcome to the Washington Machine.

Trump losing his tariff fight which was the centerpiece of the administration’s power. It leave’s Trump in purgatory. The eunuch in a harem. All the work and effort made to peddle and bring these tariffs forward now, Trump is stripped naked and shown to be powerless. Mr. Trump can’t be happy with Pam Bondi right now. The economic policy of the United States just got thrown out with the trash. Trump boasts and brags, but his economic agenda is dead, with no time left to start again.

Maybe the Pete Hegseth show was all designed to mute the emperor’s anger at a war he was promised would be over in a couple of days. A week, maybe. Or two weeks, or maybe. Or a month or possibly or six weeks. Definitely not more than three months. Definitely nothing long-term.

Trump finds himself lost in the whirlwind after all his best and favorite Fruit Loop advisors have failed him and given him bad advice. Suddenly, he has no one to turn to and no one left to trust. They’ve all let him down, and now they must suffer his wrath. On the bubble. Pete Hegseth, Pam Bondi. Hand-fed the myth of technological superiority without the consideration of time or the cost involved. The culprits will only begin to fight with each other once they truly believe their cause is lost.

A gentleman can lick ten of the bearded rabble! Not me, of course. Other gentlemen! The war will be over by Christmas, or maybe by the Christmas after that. The myth of invincibility is threatened again. If the United States is not invincible, we have a problem, partner. How many times can you bounce the rubble? Before long, you’ll have to take off into the woods and go looking for them.

“The truth is not simply what you think it is; it is also the circumstances in which it is said, and to whom, why, and how it is said.” ― Vaclav Havel

 Survival kit contents check. In them you’ll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days’ concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella’ could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff. – Major T.J. “King” Kong.