Vote for Monty Bloomberg

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

When the first Simpson’s episode aired back in 1989, I thought, “This will never last.” The satire is too sharp the Bible thumpers and the Blue Haired Ladies against Freedom will have an attack of the vapors. Eventually the show had covered almost every eventuality. I bring up the Simpsons because I know that it’s superficial and we should focus primarily on the issues of Mike Bloomberg’s record, but I can’t help it, he reminds me of Monty Burns!

On “Stop and Frisk,”

Bloomberg: “Well, nobody asked me about it until I started running for president so, come on,”

Burns: The man has no idea how to behave like a billionaire. Where’s the dignity? Where’s the contempt for the common man?

Upon “Stop and Frisk” being declared unconstitutional,

Bloomberg: “a disturbing disregard for the good intentions of our police officers” who have saved “countless lives” of “black and Hispanic young men.”

Burns: Ironic, isn’t it Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That’s democracy for you!

Not since the Hindenburg approached the mooring mast at Lakehurst has there been such a complete system failure. Bloomberg’s detonation in the Nevada debates is proof positive that money can’t buy everything. What do you mean I have to go out there and talk to them? About what! Just write them a check Smithers and release the hounds!

When I was at Occupy in Washington there was a young guy about twenty-six and even without his military fatigues it was obvious this guy was a leader. He could get the crowd up on its feet and get people excited. Leadership is a talent not a commodity. There was also a young woman representing labor organizations and she was tough as nails. Her courage and her bravado made people want to follow her. She had more guts in her little finger than Bloomberg has in the whole state of Nevada.

It looks so easy, doesn’t It?  Just stand there and take a few questions from the moderators.

But from the opening remarks it was clearly duck hunting season and Bloomberg was the duck. Attacked about “Stop and Frisk” and asked about Non-Disclosures for sexual harassment lawsuits Bloomberg made it clear to American public that he wasn’t prepared to be on the debate stage, let alone the ballot. Privilege hit a brick wall, a nice suit and a well-funded campaign can’t overcome a grotesque lack of experience.

The Wright Brothers had always accused Glenn Curtis of stealing their ideas. A newspaper put up a cash prize flight challenge. Fly from Staten Island around the statue of Liberty and back. For two days the winds were too strong to fly. On the third day, Wilbur Wright pointed his plane into the wind and took off and returned later to claim the prize. When Wright landed, he mentioned to Curtis, you should really learn about the wind, it’s important. The Wright Brothers had made over 2,000 glider flights at Kitty Hawk before ever adding an engine to their flying machine. They understood the wind. You can’t buy that experience, if you copy someone’s math homework you might have the right answers, but you don’t understand why they are the right answers.

I’ve always had what I call the Dan Quayle rule named for the former Vice President. If you or I were suddenly to find ourselves in the midst of a national political race chances are we would probably end up looking like a fool. Reporters lobbing questions at you from out of right field can be confusing add in the stress of campaigning and it can become minefield. For example, Quayle’s spelling of word Potato. It was such a little thing…we all do it. But Quayle wanted to argue about who was right. So, here’s the Dan Quayle rule. If you’ve been raised from childhood and sent to the finest schools and groomed for a political career your whole life and you come off looking like an idiot…you’re an idiot.

Mike Bloomberg is a Wall Street billionaire; he’s used to getting his own way. In boxing they say, “When the champ trains himself the champs gonna lose.” Did he even practice? Here’s one he should have worked on, how many of the women you’ve assaulted have signed non-disclosure agreements? The correct answer is none. I’m 63 years old and have never been accused of sexually assaulting or harassing any female on earth. That doesn’t make me special, it makes me normal.

These non-disclosures are to cover his atrocities. The sick bastard had no respect for what he did to these women. “Smithers, write her a check!” No concern for what he did to their careers or their self-esteem. Just write a check to keep the law off my back and I’ll go on my merry way. I guess you can do that when you’re rich, but you can’t buy respect. You can’t make a silk purse of a candidate out of a sow’s ear of a human being.

The Montgomery Bloomberg campaign is circulating edited video portions of the debate to show Monty Bloomberg actually did well in the debates. But the debate had one of the largest television audiences ever and they all saw Monty choke on the fish and all the king’s horses and all the king’s men…

Mr.Burns: “They hate me! What trial were you watching?”

Mr. Burns: Where did I go wrong? I made all the right moves, didn’t I?

Burns’ Underlings: Yes, sir. Absolutely.

Mr. Burns: Oh, I see it now; you’re nothing but a bunch of yes-men. I was making all the wrong moves, and you were too gutless to tell me!

Burns’ Underlings: Yes, sir. Absolutely. Every move the wrong one.

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