You’re a Terrible Cheeto

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

The orange one was orange red, a two-tone President calling for unity as he balls out a reporter for asking a softball question he didn’t like. He was asked to address the American People. You know, “The only thing we have to fear is, fear itself!”  Outraged that anyone dare disrupt his corona virus infomercial.

All is well, everything is okay. There are plenty of supplies, no matter what healthcare professionals or state Governors are telling you. The gaslight is lit, smokem if you got em. Secretary Azar said, they bought 200,000 swabs on the open market. Right there on the open market 200,000 swabs divided by fifty states, means Secretary Azar will ship 4,000 swabs to each and every state in the union.

The orange, red President was combative, we inherited a broken outdated system that wasn’t designed for this and we called it a hoax and a Democratic ploy. It’s not our fault, it’s not our fault, It’s not our fault! We can’t all be South Korea, now can we? We deserve more credit! We inherited an old broken system where reporters could ask any questions they like and expect us to answer! We’ve have created a new system where we avoid answering any question we don’t like. This is the official state truth. Accept it or go away!

Trump falls back on his reality show skills, “You’re fired!” You’re a terrible reporter! We’re not shipping clerks and yes, we bid against the states for medical supplies. But when we find we’re bidding against states we always drop out and let the state pay the higher costs.

Could it be the Cheeto is watching Governor Andrew Cuomo and he’s angry because Cuomo looks like a President and the Cheeto sounds like a whinner? Cuomo says, if you’re angry…blame me. We’re doing the best we can. Here’s what we’re trying to do, and this is how we’re going to do it. If it doesn’t work, we’ll try something else. The difference is profound, not once did I hear Cuomo blame anyone. He didn’t blame the system; he doesn’t need Mike Pence to come up and slobber all over the podium in sycophantic ecstasy. Cuomo’s in charge, he’s a leader and it shows.  

The Cheeto stews…sure, anyone can do it with competence! I got a bad deal. The systems is bad. It wasn’t designed for this, it’s not my fault! Oh, Boo Hoo it’s not my fault! People are dying, our nation is facing a crisis the likes of which it hasn’t faced in a century and this self-centered arrogant S.O.B. is crying, “Poor Me! Poor Me!”

Ohhh! You cursed brat! Look what you’ve done! I’m melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness! Ohhh! Look out! Look out! I’m going! Ohhhh – Ohhhhhhhhhh!” – Wicked Witch of the West

Yea though I walk through the valley of credibility I shall fear no evil because I shall ignore any facts, I find uncomfortable. The university of orange is teaching a master class in “Not Leadership.”

Rally round the flags boys and defend that delusion. The truth is what we say it is until we say otherwise, which is likely and probable in the very near future. Winston Smith would quit in disgust. He’s only one man and couldn’t keep up with changes to the transcript before the ink’s dry. The President makes a statement and his experts say the opposite. Are they working with him or against him? Creating a cloud of obfuscation or does the orange one just not listen to experts? What is going on behind closed doors if this is how they come to a decision in public?

A Fred Flintstone bull moose scenario, going on his gut. Surrounded by ministers to whom he doesn’t listen to or believe. A muddled message of a misanthrope mad man. Angry because the world screwed him and stained his fantasy dream Presidency. Fate says…I pick you! And if I didn’t make earth my full time permanent residence, I might be able to laugh at fate’s choice of Donald Trump.

Who is in charge, Trump or the experts? If the President is calling it the “Deep State Department.” What’s going on? Why is this man speaking like a twelve-year-old? Doesn’t he know this is serious? Doesn’t he know what’s going on? Does he live in a dream world of make believe? Is it Donald Trump and the goat herders? Over this way Mr. President…” Bah!” Very good, Thank you Mr. President. “Bah, bah, bah! Immigrant’s Bah! Chinese Bah! Not my fault bah!”

He’s a ball lost in high weeds, a Frisbee on the roof. The games no fun anymore when we’re not winning. So, the Cheeto stomps his feet and pouts. The Cheeto is a little man dwarfed by his times ill-equipped and unprepared. Reality is stabbing at his delusion making him lash out at others. That little voice in his head is telling him what it always tells him whispering, “This is all your fault.” He rides Rocinante but thinks it’s the bat mobile. Captain Queeg is counting Strawberries again. History will remember this crisis not for the virus or for financial disruption, but for the failure of leadership. A bad President, a bad man and a terrible Cheeto.

We can’t start crawling out of the ditch until we stop falling.

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