Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

There’s just no bottom and you wonder; does he really believe all those lies? There are times when political expediency dictates, he lie. Then there are the other times where he get’s enthusiastic about his lies and pitches them like a new shaving cream. It’s the difference between the orange one reading from a teleprompter and Trump free basing it at the lectern. His well-worn lie friends, “Some very good people and many experts have told him.” His imaginary play friends who whisper in his ear and talk to him and counsel him. “That was absolutely the right decision Donald. Gee, you’re so smart Donald and handsome too. All the women want you; you know.” Whatever happened to baby Jane?

All politicians are actors it’s a part of the job. But this guy here? Just exactly which part of his character is the acting part? The orange one would make a great Hollywood super villain if weren’t so uncouth. He’s got the orange color thing going for him and the threat to the world thing down cold. But who could imagine Lex Luther shoveling down a Big Mac and Fries sucking the bottom out of a Diet Coke while planning to take over the world? Like the devil picking his nose, part of you is afraid and part of you wants to laugh.

Reportedly the Cheeto was enraged by poll numbers in battleground states. That is not really even news. Three years in we know he recoils like a child from medicine at any bad news. He throws up a front and creates an alternate reality. Is that a strategy or a symptom? In the novel, “The Tim Drum” Oscar begins by saying, “Granted: I AM an inmate of a mental hospital; my keeper is watching me, he never lets me out of his sight; there’s a peep-hole in the door, and my keeper’s eye is the shade of brown that can never see through a blue-eyed type like me.”  Oscar tells a fantastic story and you have to keep reminding yourself, he is in a mental hospital.

Read the faces of those around the Cheeto. The faces of children without their homework fearing the teachers gaze. Don’t call on me! Please dear God don’t let him call on me! Doing their best Buster Keaton stone face as a poor man’s Sargent Shultz. But every Hollywood Super villain needs a comic relief side kick. I can even see Mike Pence in a Robin costume; nothing can stop him except being alone in a room with a woman. So, this dynamic duo, Orange Man and? I don’t know why but the name Slurpy appeals to me. Drop the gun, or I’ll let him fawn all over you!

We have the non-reality show, the ultimate Twilight Zone spectacular. Picture if you will an orange jackass. Tortured as a child abused by wealth. Hounded by the feeling he’s not good enough or smart enough and just smart enough to know he’s right. The Three Stooges knew they were stupid Laurel and Hardy always thought they were smart. So, we’re leaning more towards Moe, Larry and Trumpy here.  Many would like to see less coverage of Trump’s Corona Task Force. It had been Slurpy’s Corona Task Force before Trump took it away from him. Slurpy didn’t mind though.  I think it is imperative when Trumpy breaks down he do it live from Coast to Coast. What kind of grown up talks about ingesting disinfectant? That is not a normal topic of conversation unless you are ten.

The gaslight is lit smokem if you got em. It’s not the news they tell you it’s what they don’t tell you. Ever notice the reporters lambasted by Trump never have much to say about it afterword? The cone of silence, Johnson picking up his dog by the ears or Nixon smoking Marlboro’s the Presidential safe space where even if he wets his pants everyone pretends not to see it. Joining in the delusion with the home game version of “As the Cheeto Turns.” The details we will learn about after the sun sets and a new administration takes over. If a new administration takes over if there are still printing presses. If there is electricity to run them. Once the radiation levels have dropped and its safe to go outside again.

Obviously, we are in perilous times. The world is in flux. This is the new world dis-order. In an effort to blur the fact that Trumpy wasted two months to act, leading to the deaths of thousands. The Cheeto has turned his verbal assault on China. The nonreality of some very good people over at Faux News told him this is all China’s fault. Now his minions would believe, they’d believe him if he said that Space Aliens had caused the virus. And they laughed when he created Space Force.

I ask again, how much of this shit does he really believe himself and when should we take the car keys away? The cabinet is cowed, he could dance naked on his desk and they would only nod in approval. “Very nice sir!”

We face the most dire economic emergency in modern times. We have a Chief Executive whose grasp of reality is in doubt. According to the President’s theory, the ocean liner was just sailing along minding its own business when it was struck by a marauding iceberg under the cover of darkness. The iceberg came from Greenland, which is a territory of Denmark, so this whole thing is Denmark’s fault. Crazy country willfully filling the ocean with hazards to navigation. If you think I exaggerate, whose fault were the California wildfires? Damn lazy Californians, too lazy to get up off the couch and rake their own forests.

But does he believe it? Trade wars may be easy to win but real ones not so much. “That was absolutely the right decision Donald. Gee, you’re smart Donald and handsome too. All the women want you; you know.” Whatever happened to baby Jane?

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