By David Glenn Cox
Trump went to play golf yesterday and has been heavily criticized by the media. Hold on, there is plenty to complain about, but Golf? He’s been locked away like the rest of us in what Harry Truman called, “America’s finest prison.” And I’m more in sympathy with his handlers than the Cheeto himself. Trying to maintain a hyperactive geriatric orangutan with dementia can’t be an easy task. The grind the day after day of trying to hold him at bay with catchers’ mitts on both hands. Picking up the Big Mac wrappers and diet Coke cups strewn on the floor of the Orange room of the White House. Give his handlers a few hours of respite for the dawn shall come and the ape man soon returneth to start it all again.
I’m sure they’ve tried walking him out into the rose garden distracting him for a moment and then taking him back inside and telling him he just played eighteen holes but sooner or later they gotta let him play Golf to save their own sanity. Now I’m talking about the staff, not the Reich’s Marshalls and the Obergruppen Fuhrers. They live in terror each time he leaves the building like the Lady and the Tiger, they never know what door he might open. A day to day demolition derby where one day you’re a cabinet secretary and then Wham! You’re out the door. He believes the last thing he’s told and if you aren’t there to be last?
A cross between Don Corleone and Koko the gorilla I bet the Golf game is a shit show as well. “No sir, you’re on the fourth hole you’ve already played that one.” Secret Service agents their pockets lined with white replacement spheres. “Good shot sir!”
Was that a hole in one?
“Yes sir, your third in a row!”
Over the course of his confinement, we have witnessed a degeneration of cognitive abilities and an inability to control his anger. Let’s look at the bright side it’s a big place and people with dementia get lost all the time. I’m just saying let’s try to be optimistic. Let’s buy him skis for Christmas. His outbursts are insightful like an iceberg what lies beneath is nine tenths of the whole. The scene backstage must be orchestrated chaos. If this is how he treats people who don’t work for him, you get the point. To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail to a media lizard everything looks like a media problem. Don’t fix the problem fix the media.
His orbit is tilted and growing more eccentric. His comment about ordering churches to reopen as if you can use the red, hot line phone to the Federal Bureau of Jesus. Hello God? Open em up! It is blatant pandering to his base, but it is so childish in its conception. Like Barney the Dinosaur singing, I love God, I love God. But where is he actually located in this play acting. How much is play acting and how much is psychosis? The Administration is demasted and rudderless becalmed in a Sargasso Sea of incompetence. Does he really think he has the power to defund elections? Is there anyone left brave enough to tell him otherwise?
Here’s a question, what is the foreign policy of the United States to the world? We’ve pulled out of the Paris Climate agreement and defunded the World Health Organization withdrawn from missile treaties. As a foreign government how can you negotiate serious issues with Pee Wee Herman in charge. I had my fingers crossed the whole time. Ha ha! One minute he’s praising China pimping his imaginary trade deal the next he’s calling their premier a rat bastard. Our foreign policy is a Hodge podge of whatever sophomoric ploys and schemes appeal to him at the moment. Our domestic policy is Fort Apache defend the Fuhrer bunker to the last sycophant from all enemies foreign or imaginary.
At the apex of the worst crisis of this young and somehow frightening century the executive branch has become a senior care center for narcissistic madman. His attacks on reporters’ proof positive he’s overwhelmed and everyday it just gets worse. Joe Biden’s policy is don’t speak until spoken too you can only get into trouble. This is your backdrop, and this is your stage. Let the organ grinder turn that crank and let that monkey dance. Nothing Joe Biden can do or say can improve his chances more than his opponent’s behavior.
Let the Cheeto play Golf or masturbate just keep him calm. Let him make macaroni necklaces. Keep him busy mark the days off the calendar till November. The kite is in the tree, and we are stuck with him for another six months. Not a long time politically but long enough. We should remember we are playing with a loaded gun without a safety, “Don’t push the little horse, he’ll fall on his own.” The US Senate has become a plum ripe for the picking. No sitting President has ever faced longer reelection odds in the face of economic calamity. Are you better off now than you were four years ago?
The Orange one has taken the Republican Party on a Magical Mystery Tour of conspiracy and innuendo. The Deep State and QAnon and once he’s gone his House and Senate compatriots are going to look like schoolboys holding their bags open waiting for snipe. I understand that leaders are supposed to stay at their post and go down with the ship and all that but since when has this guy been a leader? Is it possible more could be accomplished with him in the building than without? Let him play Golf, keep him calm, try sedatives, I hear Thorazine works real nice.