The President of Law and Order

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

Come on admit it. Somewhere in the back of your mind you saw the Trump Presidency ending with cities in flames and thousands demonstrating in the streets. But who among us could have anticipated the stroll to St. John’s Church? The ham handed Spanky and Our Gang performance. “Are you sure this is going to work Alfalfa? Will Darla really think I’m a tough guy?”

Sure, it’ll work, she’ll think you’re the toughest guy ever!

You know what makes America great? The orange one tries to play Dirty Harry and threaten the American people and the numbers in the streets only double. I’d wager that the more he opens his mouth or does cartwheels on the White House lawn the larger the crowds will get. This began in response to the murder of George Floyd and grew to include police murder and police abuse of the public in general. The public is angry and deservedly so. Then comes the orange imbecile flapping his gums in the breeze and the protesters say, “Do you want some too fat boy?”

Unless the orange one learns to shut his pie hole, he should expect some new room-mates at the White House. Get someone to tell them where to park the tanks. In 1932, Washington D.C. played host to 43,000 Bonus Marchers. Veterans from WW1 promised a bonus in 1945. Their point was that they were starving now and couldn’t wait another thirteen years. They were entirely peaceful and organized. They were waiting on their elected representatives to negotiate a compromise and on the last day of the Senate calendar Republicans voted the bonus bill down.

Hoover was Presidential and had no direct contact with the marchers. Washington held its breath no one knew what would happen next. Then Hoover followed some bad advice and turned the matter over to the army. The Army moved in and burned their encampment. Smoke filled the streets of the nation’s Capital and floating off to heaven on that smoke were the reelection chances of Herbert Hoover. The image of soldiers with bayonets chasing off hungry veterans amid smoke and flames during an economic depression was more than the public would stand.

Could anyone ever get the Cheeto to understand this? Perhaps Marvel could put out a comic book, “Great Presidential Blunders” series. But who would read it to him? All that are left inside the White House now are the servile survivors. Don Jr. retweets a post from White supremacist group posing as Antifa. How dumb can you get? Like Antifa is on Twitter under the name Antifa. And they say he’s smart one! Yes, operator I am trying to find the number for a drug dealer. I want to purchase some illegal drugs.”

Mitch McConnell blocked a bill of support for nonviolent protestors because that is what lackeys do. “I am the President of law and order.” No, you’re the President of chaos and disorder and come November you are going to get drubbed so hard that you will slink from office. The Lonesome Rhodes show is over and the not ready for prime crime players will attempt to orchestrate a grand finale. “I know! He could march down Pennsylvania Avenue with and American flag over his shoulders holding two Bibles!”

No wait! He could push a red white and blue wheelbarrow filled with Bibles down Pennsylvania Ave. No wait, we could have the CIA borrow the body of John Paul II from the Vatican and hold a papal conference at the White House!

No, no, no we should dress him in buckskins with a raccoon skin hat. Then he could chop wood in the rose garden.

The silent dog whistles and the calls for violence. Asking well-armed fat boys to rise and put on the G.I. Joes and come to Washington to protect Daddy Warbucks has failed. Nothing but the comic sans script of our lives. America will remember this administration if we survive. Like the Nazi’s before them they will slam the door of history but being the Trump Administration will probably get their coat stuck in the door.

Here is the problem the Cheeto must face. The protestors are in the right and are the best part of America. They march for the true American values of fairness and justice. Equal protection under the law and the right to be free American citizens. “Hey everybody, look! I’m holding a Bible up over here! I’m waving a flag! I’m the President of law and order!”

Everyone is born a coward it is biological fact in the fight or flight response. Cowardice is easier that’s why children hide behind their mother’s skirts. Courage must be learned; the brave puppies climb out of the box first. It takes courage to stand up to tear gas and rubber bullets it takes courage to stand against your government and say, “hell no!”

It is cowardice to fire tear gas and rubber bullets at Americans seeking redress of their grievances. The worst kind of cowardice imaginable. The Donald Trump kind of cowardice with Lucy and Ethel stunts thinking they can save the game with one big play. But exposing themselves as frauds unable to do something we teach small children to do, say you’re sorry.

The Cheeto practices his quick draw with a shaky hand. Barney Fife pretending he’s Dirty Harry. I’m gonna huff and I’m gonna puff and I’m going to blow your house down. I’m going to get Attorney General dick suc, I mean Barr to declare Antifa a terrorist group along with Puff the Magic Dragon and the Loch Ness Monster. I’ll sign an executive order outlawing Rap music! I’ll make going to church mandatory! I’m the President of law and order! You better listen to me, don’t walk away while I’m talking to you! Come back here. I’m the President of law and order!

Watch, he’s getting smaller and shriller by the minute… the end is near.

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