By David Glenn Cox
In the annals of comedy, it is a truism to say you can’t have Laurel without Hardy. They are funny only because they think they are smart. Time after time hoisted on their own petards, here’s another fine mess you’ve gotten us into! But that is only celluloid vibrato the saw blade didn’t really hit him in the head. These two were harmless really, prognosticators of the future in over two hundred films I don’t think they ever portrayed a President or an Attorney General.
But the current incarnation the Cheeto bandito and Bill “Stealing for Jesus” Barr are funny only in a cannibals eating a clown sort of way. “Does this taste funny to you?” John Gotti’s stand up routine, Al Capone in floppy shoes you know the lighter side of the Third Reich. Barr once said his highest obligation was to his savior. One might assume that he meant Jesus but logically he means the Cheeto. The Cheeto rescued him from obscurity and moved him to a place of infamy. Religious affiliation is all well and good but at forty thousand feet your first obligation is to fly the plane. Jesus will understand.
Barr is the new and improved Christo Fascist. Crime is okay if you’re doing it for Jesus. There is no crime if you’re doing it for Jesus. “Be with us oh Lord as we rob this bank. And protect us oh lord from thy security guards’ bullets in his name we give thanks.” He’s similar to George Harrison; Barr is the quiet Nazi. He learned in lawyer school that you can say anything if you can say it with a straight face. Under Barr’s interpretation of the Mueller Report it was all just a big misunderstanding. Under the legal color of “I’m rubber you’re glue what bounces off me sticks to you.” Laying the foundation for no, no, no, you got it all wrong it was the Democrats and Hillary Clinton who conspired with the Russians.
When Michael Flynn was first questioned by the FBI he lied about his activities and his contact with the Russian government. Flynn while employed as the orange one’s campaign chairman while also employed as a lobbyist for the government of Turkey. It’s the difference between being a pharmaceutical representative and being a drug smuggler. If you’re crossing the border under the cover of darkness at midnight, you’re up to no good. The US government has a form for American’s working as Foreign agents. You fill it out and all is good and the only reason you don’t fill it out is because you don’t want anyone to know what you’re up to because they might want to look in your backpack.
So, Stan and Ollie want to get their good buddy Mike Flynn a free pass for the crimes he has already admitted to. The Justice Department wants to drop the charges in a case where the defendant has already pleaded guilty …twice. Barr’s Big Blue Book of legal absurdities say, “It wasn’t fair, the FBI targeted Flynn because he was a high-profile Campaign Chairman in bed with a foreign government.” The other leg of this two-legged stool was that Flynn received bad legal advice from his attorney. Therefore any conviction is suspect under the legal maximum of “He told me to say that. I didn’t really want to plead guilty twice, but my attorney told me to say that.
A Retired Federal Judge was brought in to review the Justice Departments can of spaghetti O’s and former district court judge John Gleason wrote in a filing.
“The Government’s ostensible grounds for seeking dismissal are conclusively disproven by its own briefs filed earlier in this very proceeding,”
Barr counters, “You don’t understand Donald Trump and Jesus think the charges should be dropped!” Just because the FBI has tapes and transcripts and signed confessions is no good reason to prosecute.” Psst, he’s a friend of the President. Nod nod, wink wink, Bob’s your uncle.
The full court press was applied to the presiding Judge Emmet Sullivan, but Sullivan balked at dropping the charges against Flynn. It is a little peculiar for the Justice Department to drop the charges during the sentencing phase of the trial.
“It is unusual for a criminal defendant to claim innocence and move to withdraw his guilty plea after repeatedly swearing under oath that he committed the crime,” – Judge Emmet Sullivan
“It is unprecedented for an Acting US Attorney to contradict the solemn representations that career prosecutors made time and again, and undermine the district court’s legal and factual findings, in moving on his own to dismiss the charge years after two different federal judges accepted the defendant’s plea,” – Judge Emmet Sullivan
Without the legalese he is saying, “What kind of chicken shit stunt are you trying to pull here? I know what you are up to, come on punk…make my day! While Flynn has pled guilty and is now using Stan and Ollie to get him off there is still one card left un-played on the table and both judges have said it should be considered. When Flynn had his little chat with the FBI, he lied under oath repeatedly and that’s perjury. A crime for which he was not charged. A crime that carries a heavier penalty than the other charges Flynn originally made a deal to avoid.
Meaning the Justice Department turns back flips trying to get Flynn off and ends up getting him more jail time. Here’s another fine mess you’ve gotten us into. Or the Cheeto must pressure the courts and then still has to pardon him. Even for the orange one it looks bad when you must pardon everyone convicted in your crime circle by courts of law. It destroys the narrative of the innocent victim. “So, there I was having an innocent conversation with the Russian Ambassador sixty days before a Presidential election. The FBI swoops in and arrests me!” They profiled me just because I was a criminal caught in a criminal act.
The Cheeto while proclaiming Flynn’s innocence forgets that he fired Flynn as his campaign chairman for lying about the very same events the FBI calls crimes.