Typhoid Mary Meet Covid Donny

By David Glenn Cox

And so, the stage set sort of, the Republicans will hold two conventions this summer. The business end will be in Charlotte while Jacksonville will host the Cheeto’s “You don’t look sick world tour 2020.” Since the business end of the tour will be in Charlotte who exactly will be the audience in Jacksonville is uncertain. The orange one has a proven ability to draw a crowd especially if he keeps the ticket prices at everyday low, low free. Make your X by the line that says you won’t sue and leave your Confederate flag in the pickup.

Stop me if you have heard this one before. The Cheeto is anxious to begin his rallies again, and the staff at the White House are also anxious to get the orange one out from underfoot. This is his forte his strong suite. Off the cuff ramblings with threats, dog whistles and enemies lists. But there is excrement in the punch bowl and feces in his Easter basket. Because of delusional order 13579 the Cheeto has declared the pandemic over and ordered everybody back to work, the Cheeto can’t wear a mask. Since Memorial Day we have seen spikes of Covid 19 infections. The Cheeto will give a whole new meaning to the term farewell tour. Monkey see monkey do. The Cheeto won’t wear a mask so his followers won’t wear a mask either.

Despite lawsuits and threats of lawsuits, the Cheeto’s poll numbers continue to slide. Even his base is saying to knock it off with the tweets. But he can’t help himself he’s anxious to get back out on the road to those hot crowded areas filled with excited white faces in the over sixty-five high risk groups. Rather than shooting one person on Fifth Ave. the Cheeto will try for a hat trick taking out bunches at a time. Typhoid Mary meet Covid Donny.

Come on honey, get in the Chevy. Good old boys are drinking whisky and rye and singing… this will be the day that I die.  It is a first “The Kill Me Kill You” tour. But he really loves the roar of the greasepaint and the smell of the crowd. That last hurrah before the program goes into reruns and the Cheeto does love it so. And if he kills a few hundred people what of it? They were going to die someday anyway, and they did sign the release.

One of the most important things that every con man must know is when the jig is up. The Cheeto knows the walls are caving in and the poll numbers are disastrous. One more for the road! I’m ready for my close-up now Mr. Deville. The old orange war horse is on one final campaign. No temperature checks, no masks, no social distancing, no shit. Jesus will be busy all-day saving souls as the anti-science crowd fills the arena. They love me. They really do love me! But the Party loyalists will be missing. Himmler, Hess, Miller, and McConnell will take a powder and are probably discussing peace terms with the Swedish Ambassador. I seriously doubt the Trump family will show up for the show. You gain nothing and you risk everything.

Now the question becomes where to put the Trump Presidential Library. My vote was for the Atlanta Federal Correctional Center, but it will probably be in Florida or New York. Negotiations for the Presidential Library are already underway. Florida is saying “He lived longer in New York, so it should be in New York!”

New York replies, “Yeah but, Florida is his home now so it should be in Florida.”

So many events, so many memories. Here’s Kim Jong-un’s fuck off letter and here is where the President stopped payment on the check to the World Health Organization. There is a live interactive display where you can speak against the whirling of helicopter blades on the White House lawn.  Look a special display for the President pulling out of the Paris Climate Accords sponsored by Exxon Mobile! And an exact copy of the oval office complete with the actual tire swing once used by the President. The children can throw bean bags at cardboard cutout CNN anchors, take that Wolf Blitzer! See the actual “Who cares” coat worn by the First Lady and visit the empty Jarred and Ivanka room. After all that excitement, stop in and relax in the Fox News canteen where everything comes served with sugar on top.

You can visit the library for the everyday low price of $29.95 per person.

The true legacy is unfathomable, and what the Administration has planned is unconscionable. In a global pandemic, the President and his team are planning rallies in arenas that will most certainly kill some of the attendees. This is not a maybe or a possibly but a lead pipe certainty. The President of the United States is willing to kill people to stroke his ego. The trusting and the gullible spoon fed on his absurdities will fill the arenas trusting in Trump and Jesus and getting the worst of both.

It is one of those what would you do to hold on to power things? Would you kill people? Would you sacrifice people needlessly just to hold on to power? How many people would you sacrifice? The madness of King Orange knows no bounds. The Cheeto longs for the good ole days when the crowds went wild before the Russian debacle before Stalingrad. Before the ramps became steep and water became tricky.

If you say the pandemic is over it’s over…right? How many people would you kill to stay in power and how many would you kill just for fun?

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