Bees Won’t Sting Idiots

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

You can almost hear the side show calliope playing a festive tune as the barker shouts, “See the world’s most amazing man! Watch as he drinks water with only one hand! Thrill as he negotiates a ramp unassisted! The great Trumpinni counts backwards from one hundred and identifies animals without any aides and without a single error.” There are certain tests in life that are important to pass. A DUI test comes to mind, a pregnancy test, or a DNA test it is good to pass but not good to brag.

The Cheeto bragged to Faux News how he aced the cognitive intelligence test. Even telling Chris Wallace how hard the test had been. Count backwards from 100 by 7. Repeat the following words, car, shoe, boat, table. Yep pretty tough stuff alright. The President then correctly identified a picture of an elephant and didn’t even study! He’s got this stuff down cold ask him a hard one.  “Two trains leave Kansas City going in opposite directions,” not a prayer. Not one single prayer.

It is said the human brain is the most complicated device in the universe. Sounds like bragging if you ask me with little proof to back it up. The human mind is like the Starship Enterprise crewed by one thousand Curious George monkeys. The day shift has no idea what goes on during the night shift. We lay our heads down and close our eyes and its amazing stories from the history files. That night an ocean liner chased me down the street, but I was able to lose them at the corner. The night I had a long conversation with Paul McCartney and was able to straighten him out about music. A view master view of one hundred stereo slides of reality and you have to pick the right one.

Because our brains are so complicated Scotty can have the impulse engines running nicely while Captain Koo, Koo for Coco puffs tries to open a window. Running from the ghosts in that scary dark room the birthday party where we weren’t invited or that time daddy sent us to military school because he didn’t love us anymore. The parade of a thousand slights and a thousand plots. A pinball scoreboard of pluses and minuses friend and foe. Every day to seek advantage trying to prove or claim that you are smart because the little boy in the dark room fears he is not.

Bragging about passing a test given to those in cognitive decline while at the same time talking up its difficulty. Hmmm, while at the same time sending troops into American cities to stir up trouble. This cynical double edge, the regurgitated moron yammering on about a test like a twelve-year-old on crank. Versus a sociopath who has it all planned out. If we just ignore the virus, it will all go away. It’s all a plot to make me look bad. Everything is a plot to make me look bad They’re having a going away party for reality on “C” deck and we’re all invited.

Under the commonsense employment act of 1911, it is considered a breach of protocol to call your boss a brain-dead moron to his face. This is legal grounds for termination. Rather you should encourage their follies and fancies right up to and including helping them into their Batman costume and opening the third story window. Sycophants and relatives, brown nosers hangers on and somebody that knows somebody. The “That’s a good idea!” cabinet. Insulating and isolating the little boy from the truth until the little boy is all alone. All the polls are fake! My staff tells me so! Because if the polls aren’t fake, I would be in trouble and the little boy in the dark room is getting his ass beat by the devil.

Don’t these protesters understand that protesting is a personal affront? They are out to make me look bad. Didn’t they witness the Fourth of July Klan Rally? Didn’t they see all those flags and the purple mountains majesty and the plain folks below the monument to White Supremacy? Fireworks and statues, Trump’s America. That made for TV fantasy of the lunatic fringe as main street Nixon’s Silent Majority meets Comic con. Period dressed weekend warriors out to defend the Earth from the Martian invasion Faux news told them about. Devil Worship, Pedophilia and Cannibalism! Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! I’d turn back if I were you!

This complicated brain thing, I’m in doubt. Twenty-one centuries into the modern “Era” the hot burning issue among Republicans, Does Bill Clinton eat the children he sacrifices to the devil after he has sex with them? You almost have to laugh; the one world government is going to implant a chip in our brain because we are so difficult to control now. They can’t even spell Spartacus, but they respond well at public events. Like following the Grateful Dead for rednecks. A scene, a twenty first century soap opera so stay tuned for the further adventures of Captain Video. An American subculture of fear and firearms. Quick get the AR 15 there are people walking on our street!

A mass hysteria in nihilism where the grownups aren’t in charge anymore. The bottom of the barrel boys invoking the mushroom program, keep him in the dark and planted in shit. He bounces from bumper to bumper without plan or direction. He thinks he has everyone fooled. He is so smart!

“Jim said that bees won’t sting idiots, but I didn’t believe that. Because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn’t sting me.” – Huck Finn

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