The Official Spokesperson for Angry White America

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

Laughter is about the only way to have fun without any real effort. Just sit on the beach and watch it roll in wave after wave. You can’t make this stuff up, the NRA, the National Rifle Association, the manufacturer of over 100 million auto glass window stickers and on the Christmas wish list of every redneck in America has shot themselves in the foot. See there are two NRA’s. The NRA you know and love Charlton Heston barking as a white man wronged, “from my cold dead hands!” and the NRA foundation, aka the purse.

The NRA is accused of borrowing money from the foundation to cover cash flow problems. I was in business long enough to know cash flow problems is an ugly phrase. Bernie Madoff had cash flow problems. Cash flow problems bring scrutiny and attention to purchases and billing practices. “Let’s see; I bought this pack of gum for $900 and I took a client to lunch and that was $3,500 and I paid my brother in law $9,000 to empty the trash cans. It is the same old story borrowing from the pension fund or the tax fund always promising to pay it back later, but later never comes.

This is the NRA they know how to fundraise like a televangelist on crank. They are the right-wing holy grail, God, country, and the NRA. The bank ought to be calling up bitching because they can’t get the vault closed again because of all their money. In 1968, when Apple Records ran the Beatles and not the other way round there was a discrepancy in the accounts of around ten thousand dollars per week. So much money was pouring in it was considered a dime that rolled under the couch. So, the NRA borrows five million from the foundation, aka the purse. They promised to pay the note back in 90 days or pay interest of 7%. You might not think so, but or is an excessively big word.

“Sure, we’ll pay it right back. Its just been a slow quarter the economy you know, besides ha, ha, we wouldn’t want to have to pay that 7% interest. Ouch, you guys are terrible.” Come the 90 days, “Oooh, right now is not a good time for us bad press you know, but I’ll tell you what we can do. If you let us slide, you know those payments we are supposed to be making? We are gonna pay double that amount and make double payments!” So, with a gun to their head the purse gave in. But then the old clock on the wall said it was time to begin making those double payments and guess what?

“Now gentleman, as you know we’ve promised to repay the five million dollars or pay 7% interest. And we are prepared to begin making those interest only payments today. The purse was held hostage at gun point looking down the barrel of a very ugly lawsuit or just give in and try to fix the problem quietly from the inside. “Auditor! Why would you want to hire an Auditor for?  Don’t you trust us? This is not a good time; we’re repainting the office, and the carpet people are coming Thursday. So, they held this board meeting and the chairman Wayne Lapierre suggested they look into this auditor business at some other time. That some other time has yet to come.

Well resignations came and Hudsucker Proxies were found. Living on a Republican name and a criminal past enter Oliver North. “He’s perfect! And he already has a criminal record! That’s perfect for a company with a history of financial irregularities! You didn’t tell him to come to the meetings, did you?”

Over the years I’ve always been amazed at how tight fisted and judicious the NRA was with their money. My Congressman in Alabama had been given $12,000 over the course of four campaigns. Three grand in a campaign of close to a million dollars…big whoop! But they had that leverage, endorsed by the NRA. You couldn’t be a God-Fearing Republican running for office if you weren’t endorsed by the NRA. To hold the keys to the kingdom in their pocket with blood on their hands.

Seductive circles of power and black ties dinners. Golfing events hanging out with celebrities and ex-presidents and you know what? Because I hang out with people who are important, I must be important too. Make those tickets first class and get me a week in the Presidential suite. The curse of running with the rich and famous when you ain’t rich and you ain’t famous. “Put it on the company card and call me a limo!”

Riding the whole flaming shebang down into the ground in Trumpian style. They say the worst curse you can put on a business is twenty years of unbridled success as our streets run red with the blood of the alienated, the angry and the hopeless. The NRA have been very successful; the mortuary industry alone owes them a great deal of gratitude. The armorers of oppression both for and against. Theirs is a volume business but don’t call it tragedy, call it a fund-raising opportunity. “Obama’s going to take your guns. Clinton is going to take your guns, and John Kerry is going to take your guns!” Selling fear and paranoia to the public while dealing death and destruction.

They are gone but will reform like a terminator after a shotgun blast. The con is too good, turning fear into money and turning racism into money and influence. The official spokesperson for angry white America.

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