By David Glenn Cox
You aren’t crazy the world is. The combination of the pandemic, the busted economy and the megalomania of Donald Trump brings us to a place where even the devil admires his ambition. The League of Women Voters in Texas were told they would not be allowed to leave voter registration forms in the Post Office for the first time ever. When interviewed by Senate Republicans Postmaster LeJoy said he had no contact with the White House. Under questioning of House Democrats DeJoy says, “I let the word out” aka I might have talked to some people in a big White House down the street. A judge in Iowa throws out 50,000 ballot applications because they have too much personal information on them.
The House plans to hold Secretary of State Mike Pompeo in contempt. Why not, everyone else does. Angela Merkel was asked if it was true that Donald Trump had charmed her. Never say German’s have no sense of humor, she laughed. Despite decades of professional training to the contrary, she laughed. In front of god cameras and Walmart, she laughed. The very idea Pompeo’s boss could be charming brings uncontrolled laughter to the German Chancellor. What do you call that? Liberal spin? The orange collar comedy tour? Pompeo recently rocked the UN with side splitting hilarity insisting Iran be held to the terms of an agreement President “Git er Done!” had walked away from two years ago.
Lenny Bruce said his high school was so tough that he wrote term papers titled, “What I Want to be If I Grow Up.” That fatalism seeps into our day to day. What’s next? Trump fatigue, how many laws can he break all at one time? Someone call the Guinness book of world records. Like Minnesota Fats shooting pool, sliding the chits across the wire with his pool cue. “Nine ball in the corner pocket, I’m going to violate the Hatch Act while looting the FEMA trust fund and taking out my black magic marker drawing a moustache on Bill Clinton’s White House portrait.”
Pompeo, Bill Barr, Betsy DeVos, DeJoy it’s like “Special Guest Villain of the Week!” Everyone is familiar with the term revolving door employment. This Administration has pioneered Kiddie ride employment. Mike Flynn, twenty days. Anthony Scaramucci, ten days. Former OAN anchor Emily Miller out as FDA spokesman after eleven days. I am certain she’s filled with unmitigated outrage and righteous indignation about now, fired for lying in the Trump Administration. It’s like getting thrown out of the mafia for shoplifting or Liberty University for watching porn. Imagine putting that on your resume’ hiring managers scratching their heads try to figure that one out, was she fired because she was too good a liar or fired because she was such a bad liar?
Last week the Redneck National Convention leaned heavily on the three pillars of Republican philosophy, god, guns, and gullibility. “They’re coming for you granny! Willie Horton’s on the death panel and your number is up. Angry Negros are headed for the suburbs to scratch cars and lower property values! It wasn’t a dog whistle as much as a foghorn to scared white Americans. But you can’t sell fear in a burning building. If I’m worried about losing my home, I don’t have time to worry about who might move in down the street. Economic instability is the most unstable of all instabilities. When Wall Street crashes brokers jump out windows when people can’t feed their families, they burn down cities.
A figure eight racetrack with the cars, pandemic, economic emergency and political instability all racing each other destined to collide at the intersection. Add in the super-charged entry without restrictor plates of verbal Insanity! Mitch McConnell recently said, “If Joe Biden is elected, he will limit the number of hamburgers you can eat.” The effects of such nonsense are cumulative, like Chinese water torture. At first, it’s easy to laugh off but after three and a half years the Guantanamo sweat rolls off your forehead, and you want to scream “Stop!”
Age is a double-edged sword the more you’ve seen the less likely it is that anyone wants to hear about it. I’ve seen Presidential assassinations; stolen elections, concocted wars, resignations, terrorist strikes and hijackings, but I’ve never seen any such shit as this. Gerald Ford called it the long national nightmare of Watergate and it was long, but it was not a nightmare. It was a process that had worked and when Nixon resigned, we were better again with a spring in our step. This system had worked, ding dong the witch is dead.
The Reagan Administration sent the Ayatollah Khomeini a Bible and a birthday cake. Certain an Islamic religious leader is always looking for some light reading material. See, we got a book too diplomacy! And we brought cake! If you were ever to find yourself the number one enemy on the radar of the United States and they sent you a birthday cake how big a slice do you want? George Bush the elder lost the election when he became mesmerized by a grocery store scanner. Nothing will get you booted from office faster than holding up the line at the grocery store.
When picked on dweebs shoot up a high school Republicans decry liberal values but when a picked-on dweeb shoots protestors in the street Republicans offer up the best legal minds that money can buy. Churches raise funds for the murderer. I’ll say that again; American churches are raising funds to support an accused murder’s attempt to escape justice. Frozen in dyslexia a photograph of a thought pouring sand on the gears as the big bass drum booms. Taking reality and beating you over the head with it until you want no more of it. The abuser promising the abused if you don’t vote for me…you’ll get worse.