The Future Fair

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

It’s like living inside a blender everything whizzing by as everything whizzes by. There is no off ramp there is no pause button there is no reset. The best you can hope for is to duck into a foxhole for a moment of rest, well aware that the networks are still out there gunning for you. The Orange one generates media at a fantastic rate but keep your head down! You don’t want to watch, but you are afraid not to. What will he do next? Like an acid flash back, what’s going on here? Too many inputs, too many outrages purple haze all in my brain like living in a slow-motion train wreck. The President who is accused of fucking up the Post Office has just been told by a Federal Judge to stop trying to fuck up the census.

The world has turned upside down the sky eats the trees. The world’s rainforests are to be cut down to generate enough paper for the volumes of kiss and tell memories of the Trump Administration follies. This week’s installment features Michael Cohen saying, Trumpy hired an Obama look alike to practice insulting and firing. Method acting at its best insanity on full display. Who does that? “Tonight, on the Lifestyles of the Rich and Creepy; a man whose ego is so fragile he must hire someone to insult.” Do you get a parking space for being emotionally crippled?

Here in bizarro world that story is page three under the fold but back when the world was tangible, boy howdy that would have been big news. “Extra, extra, Read all about it! President fucked in the head!” What’s next, sleeping in Michael Jackson’s oxygen chamber? But lost in this maelstrom of malfeasance and malfunctioning is there a plan? Where are we going once Social Security is destroyed and the housing market crash takes out the banks after the states and cities bankrupt and turn the bond market into the Donner Party. Almost forty million Americans on unemployment and they have the nerve to tell you the unemployment rate is 8.4% “Here at Discount Bridges for less, we sell only the finest bridges in Brooklyn.”

It is embarrassing as the whole world condemns Russia, the Orange loudspeaker has nothing to say. Standing naked with his dick out he salutes his Moscow master. He’s got plenty to say about Nazis shadow people and thugs on a plane. That one made me laugh the idea that all the thugs took the same flight or that airport security would let them board dressed as thugs. Show up dressed as a Ninja and see what happens, try wearing your Halloween costume through Airport security and I’ll show you an afternoon of fun and discussions. But the flights are of fancy and fantasy and reality is a bridge too far.

Remember twenty years ago in March? When the Orange obstruction warned we could face 75,000 Covid 19 deaths. Now, estimates of 400,000 deaths before years end with hopes for a magic bullet. Clorox, hydroxychloroquine or whatever the “My Pillow” guy recommends. From the “Hello North Korea,” department. Faux News claims no truth to Trump disparaging the troops story moments after reporter verifies story on the air. When did Monty Python become a form of government? Visions of Mitch McConnell, “The parrot is not dead, he’s just sleeping!”

Holy Mudhead mackerel It seems to be accelerating, “More madness at Moore Science High.” Creepies, where’s your school spirit? “It’s in the rumble seat, want a snort?” Dogs flew spaceships! A porn actress once redecorated the Rose Garden. Antelope Freeway one mile.

The absurdity of absurdity flanked by absurdity. Trump as Napoleon riding backwards on a unicorn shooting rainbows with Bill Barr as the cop in The Village People.” And coming soon on K-tell records and tapes, Betsy DeVos sings Schools out, Highway to Hell and ten other great classic rock songs! But this is only round one, in sixty days we reach the finals here on Beat the Reaper. Our reigning champion Donald Trump has chosen plague.

It is with the confidence that 75,000 deaths are now estimated to be 400,000 that I suspect 1.3 million deaths to soon be on the boards. A worst-case scenario estimated 1.3 million deaths worst-case scenario. Meaning that all that everyone has done, all the money spent have been for naught against the effect of Donald Trump. We could have achieved the same results by doing nothing at all. To be the most powerful man on Earth exposed as a failure. To lead the most failed flawed corrupt Administration in the history of the United States. A tiny little man swallowed by his own nightmare as the devil laughs he wonders…who Faust is?

We are stuck in his nightmare. We are stuck on Green Acres with Eb and Mr. Haney. The chickens are laying square eggs again and there are aliens in the barn. Calling for Auntie Em won’t help you. Go ahead and click your heels together all you want that won’t help either. Fasten your seatbelt and let the air out of your shoes, we are all Bozo’s on this bus. Headed for the future fair, a fair for all and no fair to anybody. Fifty years on absurdist humor becomes point on political satire. Fifty years on a President of the United Snakes becomes absurdist humor.

“Many busy executives ask me, “What about the job displacement market program in the city of the future?” Well, count on us to be there, JIM, because, if we’re lucky tomorrow, we won’t have to deal with questions like yours ever again.” – The Firesign Theater

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