You’re Going to Die Anyway!

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

BHy David Glenn Cox

I just participated in an unofficial online poll for the Presidential election. Joe Biden 72% Donald Trump 21% Wasting their vote on the Holy Mudflap Party 3% and undecided 4%. How can you be undecided about Donald Trump after four years? Of course, the poll is meaningless and without controls and for “Novelty” use only. The California GOP setting up phony ballot boxes on the other hand says more than a hundred polls. Tremendous lines of Americans waiting eight, ten, eleven hours to vote in Georgia and Tennessee speaks volumes. 400,000 more early Democratic ballots than Republican ballots in Florida.

Monday, I received my ballot from the State of Colorado, and Tuesday, I placed it in the ballot box at the library and there were two cars in front of me. The fear in Lindsey Graham’s eye’s mirrored that look on the coyote’s face when the big rock is about to fall on him. Pleading for money, going on Faux News to plead for money. Using the Supreme Court nomination as a backdrop to plead for money. His Democratic opponent Jamie Harrison is a good candidate and well-funded. But against an ensconced Republican incumbent in the deep south…well, six weeks ago this was in the bag. A mere steppingstone to re-election.

Harrison’s strategy has been constructive populism and never letting the voters of South Carolina forget that Donald Trump and Lindsey Graham are brothers from twin mothers. As Trump’s support erodes, Lindsey falls victim to the shifting sands. Taking nothing away from Harrison, but a year ago Graham’s seat was as safe as the rock of Gibraltar. Then gee, he’s well organized and well-funded. Oh, it’s going to be a race. He’s within five points. He is nearly tied! He has a slight lead! They are standing in line to vote for ten hours!

I suppose we’ve all cast a protest vote a time or two, but brother when hundreds of  thousands are willing to stand in line for ten hours to cast a protest vote…they are more than just a little pissed off. Nixon called them the silent majority, the people who aren’t really interested in politics and don’t donate money to candidates. Good honest people just working their nine to five and trying to get along. They want to go to their bowling league or go get drunk with their book club. As a rule, they don’t like politics, but Donald Trump has forced politics on them and rubbed it in their faces. Eight million pushed into poverty as Lindsey Graham says, “a second stimulus over my dead body.” As the clock ticks, South Carolinians consider option two “over your dead body.”

Mitch McConnell tried to laugh it all off the other night in his debate. Laughter is an unstable weapon and can blow up in your face for appearing arrogant. “You lost your job and can’t pay your rent and are about to have your car repossessed but for some reason, I can’t stop laughing! What a hoot!” This is in the foreground in the background is Donald Trump. “Mickey Mouse was a Communist agent. Joe Biden was born a reptile. He hates god and Jesus called him a fuck up. Barack Obama stole my toothbrush!” From his cruising with Trumpy moment at Walter Reed to his Mussolini moment at the White House, you just keep waiting for Porky Pig to say, “That’s all folks!” My President can drink water one handed and climb stairs, can yours?

Polling suggests that Trump has lost support among Senior Citizens and that’s bad news for Republicans. Seniors have long memories and short fuses. They might not remember why they want you out of office, but they will remember that they do. They will not forget Donald Trump or his walking on their lawn suggestion that they do America a favor and drop dead. You might as well, he wants to kill Social Security anyway. His mishandling of Covid-19 has cost him Florida and Arizona and Trump’s running behind in Georgia, Georgia! As new cases soar to record numbers in Wisconsin his polling sinks. Once safe Iowa with record cases, hospitalizations and deaths is now considered a political toss-up.

Trumpy’s Coup de gras, the scandal Faux News called second only to Watergate, the great unmasking. Now I know why the caged orange idiot screeches. He wanted Hillary and Obama arrested and charged with treason three weeks before a Presidential election. That way he could prove that none of this was his fault. Then Bill Barr came up empty and didn’t even release a report. Trump’s response, we need a new Attorney General. “I hired you to prosecute my enemies, and you didn’t do that!”

These are the twin booms of the Trump Administration, corruption, and laziness. Ever since the Supreme Court ruled that taking a Sharpie and writing “Muslim’s Bad” didn’t meet Constitutional muster, we see time after time these woeful attempts at changing the narrative. They not only don’t do their homework; it sometimes appears as if they don’t even know how to do their homework. Reminiscent of the old Doctors for smoking and global warmings not real pitch. Case in point the Great Barrington Declaration- Hypnotherapists, Osteopaths, Dentists, and homeopathic professionals all advocating for herd immunity. The noted expert on rusty bedsprings, I.P. Freely has signed the declaration as well as Dr. Johnny Bananas and Dr. Person Fakename. I guess Dr. Johnny Fever hit too close to home.

My mother used to lecture me when I didn’t do my homework. “You didn’t even try, did you? You just slap dashed something together so you could go have drinks with your Washington friends.” A meaningless position paper, I think I’ll sign it as Dr. Frankenstein since the plan is to unleash a monster and kill people. The plan is genius in its simplicity, let’s just do nothing and watch people die! And when enough people have died and have gotten sick, the disease will get discouraged and just go away. Exactly the same plan used with the Bubonic plague in Europe in the 14th Century. And sure enough, in just seven or eight years the Black Death disappeared. After it killed 30% of Europe, it disappeared. After it killed everyone it could kill, it disappeared.

Finally, the Trump healthcare plan we’ve all been waiting for. Finally, their new campaign theme; Vote for Trump! You’re gonna die anyway!

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