Donald Trump Did That

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

Many years ago, when my kids were small, we’d all go to a local Mexican Restaurant on Sunday. They had a video game in the corner and my daughter always wanted to play me. The typical video game scenario where the eight-year-old destroys the adult in a minute and a half. It was some sort of Martial Arts fighting game and as my life force ebbed the game would cry out in a deep baritone, “Finish Him!” I thought about that game a lot during the debate last night. Joe Biden was on point; a sharp point and Donald Trump was Donald Trump.

In fairness, Trump was on his best (almost human) behavior. The town bully dressed up for church promising to be good. His hair coiffed and in his Sunday suit. “What a good boy I am!” After his performance in Cleveland, the President apparently listened to his handler’s pleas to try and act normal. This put Trumpy on his back foot. A calm demeanor and speaking in complete sentences are not his forte. His strength is chaos, shock and aw. “Aw, I wish I hadn’t watched this.”

Something tells me the debate commission read the riot act to both candidates but only intended it for Trump. Donald J. Trump was the only person on stage that needed that debate last night. If Trump had quibbled about the terms and conditions Joe Biden would have walked. Biden was doing Trump a favor last night giving him a rematch helping him to dig his own grave. After Trump’s Lake Eire Monster, performance Biden could have just left that image in the voter’s minds. Instead, Biden circled like a boxer taking shots. Stick and move.

“He says we are learning to live with it,” The former Vice-President said about Covid-19 and Trumpy’s performance… “We are learning to die with it.” FINISH HIM! Then the former Vice-President invited Orangey into a gambit, like chess but with a moderator. Brother Joe then said, “The President takes no responsibility for the repeated spread of the virus on US shores.” Foot meet banana peel.

“I take full responsibility.” – Donald J. Trump

In the eleventh hour of the twenty-second day of the tenth month. Trumpy accepts the blame. “When we get to Versailles, don’t say it was all our fault!” Trump’s handlers begged him to act normal but for god’s sake, not that normal! But hey can you make it any worse?

“It’s not my fault it came here. … It’s not Joe’s fault it came here it was China.” – Donald J. Trump

Great, whine and cheese. “I’m the leader of the free world and I take full responsibility, but…it’s not my fault.” The orange one goes into playback mode reciting all the injustices he’s had to face. Oh, poor me poor me, I clocked in at Dairy Queen and they made me serve ice cream all day. Like that famous speech by FDR where he said, “It’s not my fault the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor!”

Trump’s strengths are chaos and misdirection, smoke and mirrors and without the smoke, there were only mirrors. The baseless attack and the unsubstantiated allegation and the outright lie. Joe gave great face last night. There were several times when Trumpy would tell a whopper and Joe would smile or cock an eyebrow that I burst out laughing. Almost a sit-com. “Beaver!” Gee Dad. {Canned Laughter}

You knew it was coming the Hunter Biden laptop. The story Faux News passed on of a former mayor with a drinking problem and his astounding fall from credibility. The Jockey disbarred by the racing commission the punch-drunk boxer over the hill. Hunter Biden who lives in California drops off laptops to be repaired in Delaware. One of the laptops had a Biden Foundation sticker on it so obviously it had to be Hunter Biden’s, who else would be allowed the mundane task of taking laptops in for repair? Minimum wage employees are far too busy send Hunter Biden.

But I worked in the repair business a long time. I don’t need the FBI and I don’t need to do forensics on the hard drive. Where is the work-order? You know that form you fill out and sign. The form that says who you are and where you live and how we can get in touch with you. Show me the work-order or get the fuck out of town.

Handicapped by civility, Trump still managed a few unhinged moments from his favorite repertoire of famous falsehoods. My personal favorite was comparing himself to Abe Lincoln. The guy who talks to Proud boys says he’s been better to Black Americans than Abe Lincoln. President is to Proud Boys as bed sheet is to Klansman and hilarity ensues. The most limiting factor in being America’s most corrupt President is that every time you bring up corruption, your own rises. A boomerang destined to come right back and hit you square on the noggin. But Trump had no choice, this is the scene in the picture where the sails are in tatters, and the boarding lines hang limp. The deck covered in splinters listing badly one last volley or strike your colors.

Finish him! Biden brought up children in cages. Trumpy said, “But we took real good care of them.” I stole your car but kept the oil changed! Trumpy’s last performance explains his first and shows us the Cheeto can turn it on and off at will. He can behave but doesn’t want to behave. Legendary comedian, Tim Conway had learning disabilities and said he had used comedy to hide his disability. Trumpy is one step away from non-verbal. He speaks in four- or five-word phrases with a limited vocabulary of adjectives either excellent healthcare or a beautiful economy. It’s like a K-tell record, “For the first time ever, Twenty Donald Trump phrases you’ve heard over and over all on one long play album!”

Never say, Donald Trump didn’t unite America. Incumbent President’s always draw a smaller vote the second time around. For Trumpy that number is below the water line. Rare indeed for someone to stand in a voter line ten hours for an incumbent. Rare indeed that early voting is rising to historic levels across the nation to support an incumbent. Donald Trump did that. Finish Him!

One thought

  1. Re: the K-Tell record – there is a talking Trump doll on the market (about $35.00) that speaks 17 phrases. It would be more fun if it could be reprogrammed beyond the Apprentice-ese it comes with.
    I loved when Joe called him “Abraham Lincoln over here”.

    Like

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