Move over Herb

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

I live in an upstairs apartment on the edge of a large complex in Denver. The road past my apartment is the back way into the complex. Back during sunnier days before the Covid came my wife and I would sit on the balcony and watch the pizza delivery vehicles go flying by the house on Friday nights. It was almost a drinking game, you gotta take a shot whenever a pizza car goes by. Last Friday, I saw one car delivering one pizza. I realize it is only anecdotal evidence my neighbors might have grown tired of pizza. Yet I also know from personal experience pizza is a luxury item readily available at the grocery store for a third of the price.

A food bank in Texas had a line five miles long the other day with a four hour wait time passing out forty-four tons of food. Now factor in that most of these people were already on food assistance but were willing to wait four hours for an extra box of food. Food thoughts becomes omnipresent when you don’t have much of it. I read of a former POW who kept his basement stocked with all kinds of food just so he could sleep at night. Food he had no intention of eating but just wanted to know was there to fill the psychological hole left by hunger.

After the crash of 1929, the economy drifted like a wound animal slowly growing sicker looking for a porch to crawl under and die. It was called the road to rock bottom, the period between the crash of 29 and Roosevelt’s election in 1932. Private charities suddenly saw the numbers surge and ran out of money. President Hoover was against any national scheme to feed the hungry fearing that watching your children eat might dampen your spirit more than watching them go hungry. Your full belly was stealing from your self-esteem. Wouldn’t you rather be proud and hungry than to lower yourself to take charity? Clearly spoken by someone who has never missed a meal in their lives.

Clearly, spoken by someone trying to blame the victim. There was a drought and a dust bowl and a Great Depression, but the Hoover Administration was worried about self-esteem. The Hoover Administration began a policy that if you ignore the depression it will become discouraged and just go away. Cabinet officers went about making speeches and the President promised, “Prosperity is just around the corner” while two people an hour died of hunger in Wayne County, Michigan.

It took nearly three years for a wounded economy to stagger into its death throes. We are approaching one year. When the patient is bleeding out you give them blood, or they die. Yesterday, Mitch McConnell had the affairs of government so well in hand that he adjourned the Senate a day early for the Thanksgiving holiday. No stimulus discussions as months go by as the consumer economy bleeds out to be reflected in next year’s wholesale numbers. Jedidiah begat Shamus who begat Guildamare and it’s all building like a steam train about to leave the station.  

President Treason, I mean Trump, is still holding his breath until he turns blue, trying to overturn a lawful election. The cares and concerns of hungry people mean nothing to his anally raped ego. Now we are going to find out just how fucked up Trumpy really is. Stimulus? You can forget that. Nearly eighty million people have wronged him, and he will take his rightful vengeance on everyone because of it. I hope you’re happy now! You’ve made him angry!

The Party of family values and the sanctity of life. The Party of small business and entrepreneurship says to the American family and small business. Fuck off!  “Let them eat…cake! No, let them eat nothing! Let them struggle, teach them a lesson.” President Pampers points to new home sales as proof of an economic rebound but at the same time home foreclosures are on the rise. What does that say about the health of the economy? 400,000 small businesses have closed leaving 400,000 landlords without a tenant. Wholesalers who just lost 400,000 customers, delivery trucks that don’t need to deliver begat Ageratum.  400,000 dreams that just died. You go out of business this year your supplier goes out of business next year.

The Republicans would like a targeted stimulus with zero being the target. They want to negotiate to eat their mac and cheese and pudding but don’t want to pay for any green vegetables. How can you have any pudding when you don’t eat your meat? The Democrats wanted a two-trillion stimulus package and the Republicans offered 10%. The Democrats offered a one and a half trillion-dollar package the Republicans offered 10%. You asked for a dollar, here’s a dime make it work.

Hoover was a man overwhelmed by his times. Caught between the good old days of the 19th Century and the gears of modern American industry he was unable to make the adjustment. Cars had only been built in Detroit for twenty-five years. I mention Hoover because Hoover wasn’t a bad man, he picked door number three when he should have taken what was in the box. The new problem wasn’t amenable to the old ways, so let’s do nothing. Nothing always works! The only reason we have so many poor is because we do so much testing.

Hoover was wrong but he was not vengeful. He wasn’t mentally ill, nor was he a narcissist he was just a man who was wrong. Millions of Americans suffered because Hoover was wrong. Hoover joked, “I’m the only man to ever have a depression named after him.” Move over Herb, you are about to have company!

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