Like Rock Breaks Scissors

By David Glenn Cox

Slowly the details begin to emerge, why was Trumpy so angry with Faux News for calling Arizona for Joe Biden? Because inside Trumpy’s little orange stained brain matter he was convinced that election night 2020 would be a repeat of 2016. Everyone was going to be so surprised when the blue states began to fall into the Trump column. CNN would have to eat their words, and Donald Trump would bask in the glow of his glorious reelection. “I showed them all! The bastards all thought they had me! But who is crying now! Ha, ha, Joe Biden, better luck next time Kamala Harris. First, we take Pennsylvania; we’re way ahead in Pennsylvania. Then we take Michigan and Wisconsin and then Arizo….

It’s called magical thinking and a little bit of it is a good thing but it’s like talking to yourself, it’s all about the messaging. If you say to yourself, “I need to remember to pick up some coffee” that’s normal. If you say, “I hope the space aliens can hear me from here,” not so much. The writer dreaming of a best seller or the actor dreaming of an Oscar are magical thinking. The difference is the rational belief in logical conclusions. Despite every major poll showing Joe Biden ahead Trumpy believed they were all wrong. Everyone was wrong, the pundits in the media, the experts and high paid consultants were all wrong.

The depth of the waters of madness make wading in a dangerous game. It’s always worse than it appears on TV. Richard Nixon staggered through the White House in his underwear in a Jack Daniels haze talking to the pictures on the wall. He was drunk but rational. With Trump you never know how much of it is an act and how much he really means it. This is the President who has done more for Black people than Abe Lincoln. He’s sacrificed more than any other President, even John Kennedy. Steve Martin once observed that if you are being mugged you should crap your pants and empty your bladder. Nothing else on earth could be more discouraging to criminals. “Oh god, we’ve mugged a crazy person.”  

Nobody wants to tell orange Elvis he’s fat, it’s not a good career move. Nobody wants to tell orange Elvis anything he doesn’t want to hear. So, the staff oohs and ahs as the Emperor parades in his new wardrobe. “Wonderful sir, it fits you! So, becoming. We have many paths to victory sir.  Why, if we can win the Mid-west and, in the South, then hold the Southwest. “Trumpy worked his orange butt off holding rally after rally oblivious to infecting as many people as possible as a backdrop to his own tone deafness. If a virus tries to punch him, why he’s punching right back, no matter how many of you little people have to pay the price.

One can only imagine election night with the Trumps. The thrill of victory and the acrimony of defeat. Tommy got his mirror broken in the simile of the cave.  “How could this be? You all said I would win?” So, the magical thinking kicks in again. “If I couldn’t lose, then I must have been cheated! Yeah, that’s it; it must be hobgoblins and technocrats. History tells us if you have a checkbook and think your barn is haunted by spooks and spirits someone will come out of the woodwork that specializes in spirit removal. As long as you have money, you are not out of your mind only lucrative.

“Rudy, I think I was cheated,” My rate it twenty thousand dollars a day plus liquor tabs Mr. President and I think you were cheated too! Why I think you have got a helluva case here, but it’s going to take some time! Days and days, weeks maybe! We could go all the way to the Supreme Court! It will be historic, and you’ll go down in history!

The first rule of conman school is the mark really wants to believe in the con. The mark wants to believe he can play the trombone, or the time share is really a great bargain. When your magical thinking has got you down call doctor Rudy to apply salve at 20K per dose plus liquor tabs. “I’ve hired Rudy Giuliani to lead my legal team what does everyone think?” Ah……………..Great Idea sir! “Rudy’s holding a press conference today at The Four Tops!” Four seasons sir. “Yes, I know.”

Faux News stomped Trumpy’s little stage play flat breaking Tommie’s mirror. “No, no, no, you can’t call Arizona for Biden. I’m going to win Arizona! No, you can’t do this to me! You bastard’s can’t do this to me. I’m gonna win Arizona and Pennsylvania and Georgia too! How dare you do this to me; I’ll get you!”

His staff have placated him into thinking he’ll have the starring role in the Empire Strikes Back, but it is just more con to lure him off the tire swing. More magical thinking, “I’ll be the President in absentia! I’ll start my campaign on inauguration day. I bet I draw a bigger crowd than Joe Biden does! That’ll show them. right Rudy?” Oh definitely, Mr. President, how right you are!

Skating from delusion to delusion, magic thinking, cabals, and conspiracies. Good guys and bad guys hangers on and sycophants. “Obama spied on my campaign they’re were all out to get me.” It all comes to an apex January 20th. Like time and space colliding reality breaks fantasy like rock breaks scissors. Like Napoleon retreating from the gates of Moscow never to return.

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