By David Glenn Cox
One of my favorite Monty Python scenes is where a man has been sentenced to be stoned to death for speaking the name of Jehovah. The whole lunacy of trying to explain the crime without using the name. Republicans find themselves out on this ledge. “You can’t say Joe Biden is President Elect! You have to say since that, you know, that thing that happened back in November. That bad thing with the votes and all the flags and stuff. Don’t say it or the orange one might hear you. He hears all you know, so don’t say it or armed gangs could show up outside your house and threaten your life.
Georgia, Michigan, Arizona, Republican or Democrat say that thing. You know the thing I’m talking about, and they’re coming for you. “What are you going to do after the you know the thing?” Say it three times in a mirror and Donald Trump will appear in the room with you. “Where are you going to live after…I mean, have you ever thought about moving someplace warmer? Shucking all this and just relaxing in the sun and playing golf?”
General Erwin Rommel was involved in the plot to kill Hitler. Being a national hero, he was given a pistol and told to shoot himself. Bill Barr was just handed the luger. “Am I being fired?” No, you’re quitting, big difference! You know what you did, and we know what you did so now you need to quit yourself for letting the orange one down. You said there was no fraud…what were you thinking? Were you just trying to set him off? You had to know that by saying there was no fraud was tantamount to saying we…well, that thing, that happened in November. If we all hold our breath and try, real hard Tinkerbelle is gonna be alright.
The President deposed heads down to Georgia to continue his campaign to stamp out reality and gamble with golden fiddles. “I’m glad to be in Georgia, so I can tell you all about my troubles and help Barbie and Ken here get elected. But first, I must administer the loyalty oath. Who won the election on November 3rd?” You did sir! Gosh, everybody knows that! “Not everybody! They must be weeded out and their homes surrounded by people with guns!”
Orange Mayhem is said to have requested the names of Republicans who have said the name Jehovah and acknowledged Joe Biden as the President Elect. You’re either a Trump supporter or an enemy of our reality revolution. Oaths to defend the Constitution? Fuck oaths, are you a Trump supporter or not? Where do you get this information? A. Trump won the election outright or B. the election was stolen in a nefarious plot by Democrats so diabolical as to not leave a single scrap of evidence. Those are the Pong Yang approved realities, so don’t you make me report you.
“And if I don’t like your news, I’ll fire your network! I’ll find a new network that will report the news I like.” Faux News Network prima donna Jeanine Pirro declared Bill Barr to be a reptile. Once you turn, they almost always state the obvious about you. You left out fat; he’s also fat with bad eyeglasses. Get him! Get him! The man who gave Donald Trump oral sex over the Mueller Report is now an enemy of the regime for the crime of injecting reality into an official fantasy. Deflating the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day balloon giving the enemy aid and comfort and giving the media the ammunition to say that Joe Biden, well you know that thing back in November.
Mike Pompeo knows how to live the fantasy hosting a Christmas party for nine hundred people. “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home!” If you ignore the virus, it will go away, besides if you’re loyal you won’t get sick. Just how loyal are you comrade? Fraid of a little bug? Don’t you want to come network at my party, before the you know, that thing happens next month? Come on drink the Kool aid besides if you don’t show up some may assume, you’re disloyal. Show us your loyalty, don’t wear the mask.
The Republicans are afraid to speak the truth of the fantasy because they fear the truth. They fear the truth of the fantasy and not the truth of the reality. The orange one will sick the dogs on them with a good ole electronic lynching. Bill Barr is a reptile! Oh please, it takes one to know one. If that’s the worst, you’ve got hit the clock. “See, I’m loyal, I’ll go after him for you! I mean after he said those awful things about you sir. That you didn’t, ah about that thing in November.”
Grown people afraid to speak the truth not just about a lie but about our way of life. Afraid of a tyrant who rules with fantasy, gods, and monsters. Who cares what you did for me yesterday what have you done for me lately? The Republicans hide in the shadows until that thing happens, secretly wishing for it to happen sooner rather than later to free them from their bondage.
“What’s all the commotion by the Capitol it looks like they’re building something.” Yes sir, it’s for the ah, I mean it’s for the, the ah, “The what?” It’s for the hanging sir. They’re hanging Hillary Clinton and Barrack Obama on the twentieth. “Really? I’d like to see that! Bout time, they spied on my campaign.” Unfortunately you have appointments at the southern White House on that day sir. You’re meeting with the Vice Premier of Narnia on that day sir and the Ambassador from Fredonia and a couple of the power rangers might stop by.
Jehovah! Jehovah! Jehovah!