Where’s My Check Dude?

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

Congratulations on your survival of the year 2020. Congratulations on your survival of four years of Donald Trumpy. The Trumpster had a big New Year’s bash planned for all his friends and well wishers at Mira Lago. The party was canceled at the eleventh hour for reasons not disclosed to the public. Could it be the parties invited had received calendars for Christmas? Trying to gain influence with a guy about to be out of office all for the price of a potentially fatal illness. The orange fat kid sullenly discovers they only came to his birthday party for the pony rides and then retreats to Washington.  

As if you weren’t already paying attention, the cosmos has decided to share its opinion of 2020 by aligning Jupiter and Saturn. Horiscopically speaking its this kind of stuff that got the three Kings stirring. It means something really big is about to happen. It doesn’t show its cards; it could even be something really good but stil we check our calendars. Science not to be outdone by pseudoscience have announced that the sun is missing it’s spots. A marked decline in the number of sunspots has scientists in a tizzy. You might ask, “What in the pocket protector world do sunspots have to do with my life?” The last time the sun wore not spots the Earth went into a five-hundred-year mini-ice age. Mankind heats up the planet to the edge of destruction and nature says, “Hold my beer!”

Yeah, we’re saved! Well, not exactly cows don’t wear overcoats and you can’t grow corn in the house. The last time this occurred, they were ice skating on the Thames and the canals of Rotterdam. 1816 was called the year without a Summer. Snows continued into June as the recorded low temperatures in Boston were forty degrees in July and August. Crops failed and hunger abounded.  Think icebreakers on the Mississippi River. The little ice age was preceded by the Medieval Warm Period. Hinting that our cyclical climate is generally colder, and we just happened to come along on warm sunny day. Who had “Sun grows dim” on their 2020 bingo card?

This does not mean we can forget about climate change it illustrates the importance of not impacting the climate in the first place. Laurel and Hardy visit the nuclear reactor and hilarity and devastation result. Our on-demand economy butting heads with an I don’t think so climate. Perhaps the cosmos is telling us about the death of a king? Sears, the king of retail, is dying and would be dead already except the assets primarily in real estate needed to pay creditors aren’t there with the collapse of commercial property prices. Hence the expression, “You ain’t worth killing.”

I was watching You Tube videos of the worst cities in America when I thought about the new king. Yes, it’s true, I lead an exciting life on New Year’s. But after watching video after video of slums and poverty it became clear the sun isn’t the only thing growing dim. Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos is worth nearly two hundred billion dollars. Rich enough to buy his own aircraft carrier and operate it. Jeff and his Billionaire buddies must be broken up and taxed into history.

“Now, if you have on that table the food and the clothing and the products that it takes for 125 million people to live on, any man with a thimble-full of sense ought to know that if you take 85 percent off of that table and give it to one man that you are bound to have 2/3 the people starving because they haven’t got enough to eat.”Huey Long

Perhaps the celestial alignment signals the end of billionaire boys club euphemistically called the Republican Party. Mitch McConnell is working like a one-armed paper hanger trying to diffuse the bombs of Senate Republicans. Republicans intent on self-destruction plan to contest the Electors Presidential vote. Meaningless in that it can’t change the outcome only ensconce the Republican Party as the Fascist party of sedition, treason and with Trumpy at its head, crime. Trumpy and the Trumpy media have so convinced the low brow that the presidential election was fixed that 55% of conservative voters in Georgia say they won’t vote in the runoff election. Now you done it! Now you have made them too stupid!

The smell of the decomposing Trumpy Administration is thick in the air as Senate Republicans make plans to hop on board a sinking ship. On Paler, that bathroom where children write dirty words on the wall Republican Kelly Loeffler is vilified for being rich. Republicans attacking other Republicans with the orange court jester egging them on. You gotta love it. Do you know where Moses was when the candle went out? He was in the dark. When the lights go out for the Trumpy Administration, Trumpy and his followers will also be in the dark.

Trumpy’s contingent of Racists, rednecks and the uneducated are loyal but what would you say about their attention span? How long before they lose interest and drift away? Half of Republicans mad about Trump while the other half are mad about Trump. Splitting the moron vote and enabling progress. An opening big enough to drive a truck through. Mitch McConnell drives an old rickety Senate machine. It spits and sputters and goes off track while Captain Crazy blows the whistle and shouts, “Look at Me!”

Orange Trumpy scuttles the man who saved him from impeachment with his phony $2,000 check gambit. Mitch counters by adding a poison pill to kill the legislation but still America’s asks…” Where’s my check dude!” Other Republicans chime in, “Give em their check dude!” Trumpy has put the Republican Party on a collision course with the American people and a collision course with itself. The alignment of the planet’s signals change while the alignment of Trump and McConnell signals collapse.

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