By David Glenn Cox
I was eating lunch watching CNN when they said, “Coming up next, a retrospective of the last four years of the Trump Administration.” I dove for my remote, are they kidding me? Do they really think anyone would watch that? “Coming up next, a retrospective of all you Freddy Kruger nightmares.” I didn’t want to watch it the first time, let alone live through it! First Lady by the hour, Malaria Trump gave her farewell address to the nation. Since when do First Lady’s give farewell addresses? Bye! I’ll think I’ll miss you the most. I’ll think about you every time I think about porn models or plastic surgery.
I remember Lady Bird Johnson for her plan to beautify America. Jackie remodeled the White House and Eleanor fought for everything. Malaria Trump will be remembered as a gold digger who thought she caught the brass ring, only to discover she’d bought a one-way ticket to Godzillaville. Sure, he’s rich, but he ain’t free. A shining example of how the well-dressed, ugly American relaxes at home. Famous for a coat that says, you don’t care while married to a cruel Nazi super villain separating families and putting children in cages. Oh, yes do tell. Share with us your pearls of wisdom in your farewell address. “Shhh, Malaria is gonna say something.”
The irony is that they still do not get it. It’s Weekend at Bernie’s and something is beginning to smell. Faux News sees the writing on the walls with coincidental management changes. They get it! “Investigation? Why? That guy doesn’t even work here anymore.” Many of the survivors of the Hiroshima bombing reported seeing a flash but not hearing a sound and then like being woken from a deep sleep found their world was destroyed. The Republicans have seen the flash but are still dosing.
Mitch McConnell remains undecided on which way he will vote in the upcoming Impeachment trial. I guess, it’s just a tough decision. The President incites a mob to attack the Capitol and kill people. Overthrow the lawful government and impose a dictatorship. Gee, that is a tough one! Not voting to convict in the face of the overwhelming evidence would itself be an act of sedition. In Michigan, the GOP wants to remove the one representative who voted to certify the electoral votes. To get rid of that crank, get rid of that one honest cop who followed the law and did his job, and they don’t get it yet.
Republicans in Wyoming want to censure Liz Cheney for her part in following the law and abiding by the Constitution and are talking about succession. Rand Paul says, If Trump is convicted the Republican Party will collapse. See what I mean? If we are not careful, we could hit an iceberg! No, you have hit an iceberg. You guys nailed that sucker head on. Just because you don’t hear it, doesn’t mean it’s not happening. And if you think it is bad now while the Trump Administration still breathes, wait until the corpse grows cold. Wait until they start fighting over the scraps of the Republican Party.
Someday, instead of saying, “Dumb as a post” we will all say, “Clueless as Josh Hawley.” The Missouri Ober Gruppen Fuhrer and leader of the Sedition wing of the Republican Party has found a new publisher after Simon & Schuster cancelled his book contract. Hawley denounced Simon & Schuster as trying to censor conservatives and his income. This guy has made himself about as popular as Jeffery Dahmer’s favorite barbecue sauce and then whines, “They’re picking on me!” Now, now, nobody likes a whinny Fuhrer. I’d wager instead of Josh’s publisher giving him a big check, he gave his new publisher a check.
You know how in a huge explosion; all of this flotsam and jetsam gets thrown high up into the air? That is where we are at. And the debris has just hit its apogee and is now on the way down. When this stuff begins to hit the street, the feces will hit the fan. Who knew what when? Investigating phone records and inconvenient E-mails all over the place. If the Republicans were standing at ground zero of a nuclear blast holding a crate of M-80s, this couldn’t get any worse. Their loyalty to a Constitutional form of government is in question. That’s not a policy dispute that’s a court case with a prison sentence attached. Follow the Trump mob or follow the Constitution, it is just so hard to decide. Should I stick with the President and his 34% approval rating and his Nazi QAnon Klan followers, that 29% of the Republican base that swings elections? Or should I return to being a Republican with amnesia?
When they took the television show, “The Dukes of Hazard” off the air, rednecks across America stopped painting confederate flags on the top of their cars. Once the monkey is gone, there’s nothing left but organ grinder music. Once the candle is put out the room grows dark. Followers without leaders disperse. A cult without a cult leader is an uncomfortable group of strangers meeting for coffee with paranoia and suspicion.
The Texas Real Estate agent who flew to the riot in a private jet wants Trump to throw her a pardon. It is stunningly sad that even at this late date, any of these people still believe that Trump gives a flying shiznit about any of them. “Help! Santa, Help!” You have a checkbook, use it! The going price for pardons stands at two million dollars, plus fees. Rudy must be allowed to wet his beak you know. Every Trump pardon comes with a free My Pillow, bed topper as a part of our going out of corruption sale. The Republican Party is dead and gone. Trump has murdered it and buried the body in the woods. Some want to look for the body the rest want to pretend this is the Donner Party and no one is actually missing. It is no longer a political Party; it is a conspiracy.