Eat Your Boogers and Shut Up Ted

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

I think the worst part about White Privilege is the whining. Like a bearing overheating and going bad, you know what is happening, but you can’t stop it. I think across the course of my life about how many African American men I’ve seen handcuffed and put into a police car. Somber, silent and sedate. No tears and never crying, “You can’t do this to me! I know my rights! You’ll be sorry! What’s your badge number?” Without the armor of White Privilege, there is a different understanding of reality. “They can do this to me, whatever my rights. They won’t be sorry and probably won’t even remember tasing you or knocking out two of your teeth for not saying sir.

There are some people in the world of all colors and persuasions that make you long for the days when throwing someone into a volcano wasn’t called “reactionary” but was considered a moderate and modern acceptable method to social engineering. Cheaper than building a prison with no guards to pay. All that was needed, was a readily available volcano and there is never a volcano around when you need one. Speaking of people, you’d like to throw into a volcano, Ted Cruz is back in the news. Remember in the first grade? That quiet kid, who sat in the back of the class picking his nose all day and eating his boogers. He used to wet his pants a lot, so the teacher would have to walk him down to the office with a big embarrassing wet stain on the front of his pants. So he could call his momma to bring him some dry britches from home. That’s him man! I’d know that cat anywhere!

I think Elon Musk and I would agree, if Space X had a planned manned mission to the sun. Ted Cruz would be the man chosen to represent all humanity and lead this brave twelve second mission into the center of the sun itself. “Don’t worry Ted, we’re not gonna leave until about an hour before dark.” Cruz tweeted, that the Impeachment was, “Vindictive.”


1a : disposed to seek revenge : vengeful. b : intended for or involving revenge. 2 : intended to cause anguish or hurt : spiteful.


 revolting against civil authority

: an act or instance of revolting against civil authority or an established government.

See: Treason,

See: Treason history of: as in beheadings, drawn and quartered, disemboweled and left on the village green for the buzzards to eat your exposed entrails. Hanged and burned at the stake, your bones then ground to a fine powder and thrown into the castle dump.

Kalief Browder spent three years in Riker’s Island accused of stealing a backpack. Jeffery Skilling’s case made it to the Supreme Court of the land before Kalief Browder ever got a trial. This orange repository of hate and mental illness stirred his mullet headed, Klan inspired, neo-Nazi friends to attack our Capitol for the express purpose of overturning an election and making himself an illegal dictator. It wasn’t an accident; it was a planned. The White House so clumsy and stupid they filed for permits in the campaign staffers own names. It was a criminal conspiracy in the very same way Richard Nixon approving hush money was a criminal conspiracy. It wasn’t an event; it was a crime scene.  “Ted,” a crime scene. People are dead, and people are maimed for life with millions in damages. Our most sacred institutions violated, a black mark on American history. The big orange nightmare tried to overthrow the government with flying monkey trainees, to make himself a dictator and you think that it is vindictive to prosecute the perpetrator of an insurrection?

The line between acrobat and contortionist is a fine one, like the difference between service and servile, discuss and disgusting. The words sound similar but have opposite meanings. A man who tries to be on both sides of every issue finds himself out of step at least 50% of the time. The lights went off and the monkey got shot and when the lights came back on Ted Cruz finds himself holding the gun defending Sedition. The choice is simple for Republicans, stand your ground or run. Fight or flight? The Congressional Trumpozoids have decided to stick with Trump and fight it out before the gates of Moscow. A recent poll found 50% of Americans who already think Trump should be convicted at his trial.

I remember watching Adam Schiff at the first Impeachment and thinking, “Damn, if I ever get in trouble. I want him!” Then I read that Trump has hired the best car accident and slip and fall attorney in Schenectady, New York. “Have you been in car accident, and the insurance company won’t pay? Call me; I have recovered hundreds of millions of dollars in settlements for my clients. Are you accused of Sedition, DUI or Insurrection or maybe even spousal abuse? Call me, that’s 1-877 Law Dude. That’s 1-877 Law Dude. And ask about our refer a friend program for 20% off!

What do you suppose that poll is going to look like at the end of the second Impeachment trial? After Trump performs his spectacle of mental illness while being defended by Elmer and Fudd? Looney Tunes on Ice! If I were Vladimir Putin, I be thinking to myself, it was worth every ruble.

Donald Trump as a Southern attorney in suspenders and shirt sleeves and sepia with a ceiling fans spinning overhead as the audience fans themselves nervously with funeral home fans.  He mops the sweat from his brow placing the handkerchief in his pocket, “Now isn’t true, that 30,000 dead people voted in Georgia.  Like my friend, the honorable Mr. Rudy Giuliani, the former Mayor of New York says?”


“Well then isn’t true, that illegal ballots were kept under a table and then added to the count under the cover of an alleged “broken pipe” like my friend, the honorable Mr. Rudy Giuliani, the former Mayor of New York says?”


“Well then, how do you explain Faux News calling Arizona so quickly?”

Were they wrong?

There is a general sense of fairness in the country, and it might possibly be the last bastion of reality left to us. When we watch the replay in slow motion, we are forced to admit that the ball was in fact foul. The Democrats plan a multimedia presentation with video clips interspersed with Trump’s own words. They have got the good video clips; the one’s not yet released to the public. The ones culled from the hundreds of hours of video. The bombshell clips and the needle will move against Trump when someone takes the time to explain what happened, and why it happened, and who was responsible for it happening.

Ted Cruz defends Sedition against the government of the United States with; “They’re being mean!”

Eat your boogers and shut up Ted!

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