By David Glenn Cox
It is a truism that art imitates life. There is an episode of The Simpsons where Springfield Mayor, Diamond Joe Quimby is addressing the citizens about a crisis on TV. As the shot pans back Quimby is standing in front of a fake backdrop of his office while actually at the beach. Above the waist he wears a suit, below the waist beach shorts. “Hello, you have reached the office of Senator Ted Cruz. I’m sorry I can’t take your call right now. Because I’m in fucking Cancun and it’s awesome! I’m glad I brought my sunscreen, it’s hot as a bitch down here! Leave a message, and I’ll return your call but not right away. Cause I’m in Cancun baby and I’m so… wasted! Cervesa, Por four door!”
Meanwhile in Gotham City, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez raises over one million dollars for Texas charities. Dallas officials confirm the Biden White House had contacted them about assistance before Texas Governor, Gregg Abbott had reached out to them. Republican politicians have hidden themselves in plain sight behind the orange smoke screen. No matter how stupid or incompetent, they knew all they had to do was open the window and wait about twenty minutes and Trumpy would do or say something outrageous enough to give them cover. When Curley is out front doing his thing, you hardly notice what Moe and Larry are up to in the background.
Remember that quiet girl from High School? She carried a guitar around everyday even though no one had ever heard play a note. Well, that little girl has grown up and replaced her guitar with an assault rifle and got herself elected to Congress. Comic/Tragic Congressperson Lauren Bobert participated in a video conference with crossed assault weapons behind her on the shelf. When called to answer for the improperly displayed weapons, Lauren thought. “How can I make this worse for myself?” Then she answered, “They aren’t for display, they are ready to use.” I got me a Harley Davidson tee shirt, and a scruffy beard and a Gold Wing, Bubba I’m a biker! When I’m not working at my day job as a certified public accountant. Sarah Palin’s Son in Law had to show her how to load a rifle.
That’s why they used to talk about her in the girl’s restroom. Astronaut Buzz Aldrin had graduated with a doctorate in orbital mechanics from MIT. He wore his Phi Beta Kappa tie clip to work and Gus Grissom told him, “Hey Buzz, you got the job you don’t need to wear your resume’ anymore.” To feel the need to fill the gap missing in competence and sensibility with firearms and bravado! And yet to think we don’t see that. “Yes dear! Very nice, you have guns. Can we start the meeting now? How long can you sustain a one trick Pony? “Hi, I’m Lauren Bobert, and I’m running for re-election again! I still have my guns! And if you return me to Congress, I’ll represent you and your family with my guns! Tax policy? Trade disputes? I don’t know, but I bet they go better with guns!
Nancy Pelosi wants to appoint retired Lt. General Honore’ to lead the investigation into the insurrection. Republicans balk at his selection. Okay, what do we know about Honore’? He came to New Orleans during the Republican bungled Hurricane Katrina disaster (Nice work there, Brownie) and changed the tone immediately. Republicans counter, “He’s too partisan!” And when they say partisan, what they mean to say is he is too honest. And when I say too honest this was Honore’s opinion of Missouri Senator Josh Hawley. “That little peace of shit with his @Yale law degree should be run out of DC and Disbarred ASAP,”. Is he being too partisan or too honest here? This was not an outlier position and was shared by most of the major newspapers in Missouri.
It’s bad enough to plan a trip to Cancun and to have your state in a polar ice box. Kind of like eating ice cream in front of the diet center. But then the liberal scion AOC is raising money for the state while you’re throwing back tequilas and dancing the Mariachi while wearing an oversized sombrero.
The general incompetence of the Republican Party is bubbling to the surface now that the orange chef has fled the kitchen. Marjorie Taylor Greene has disappeared from sight without committee assignments there isn’t much for reporters to ask after, “What are you going to do now?” After that, she’s doing it. This is the face of the Post Trump Republicans, Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley, Laruen Bobert, an insult to rogues’ galleries everywhere. A surreal “Friends” sitcom from hell with guns and cancel culture as it’s focus. Republican Senator Ron Johnson tells Wisconsinites, “You don’t need no stinking check, didn’t you eat last week?” It’s one thing to be a fiscal conservative it’s another to tell the public, “You don’t look so hungry to me!”
Gym Jordan says cancel culture is Americans number one concern. Faux News criticizes the questions in the Biden Townhall. Apparently, Faux News could find no fault in Biden’s answers to the questions, so they stuck with attacking the questions themselves. They look up from Master Control puzzled and confused, “We don’t know what to do! They asked him a question, and he answered it. What do we do now?” Attack the question.
Conspiracy theories, character assassination, QAnon and Trump. QAnon scuttlebutt says, Texas was a weather manipulation event and apparently the illuminati and George Soros have declared war on Texas, yet again. They can’t, however, explain why the weather assault only reached disastrous proportions in Texas. You see, If you are not prepared for a weather emergency that’s bad. But if you are not prepared for a weather emergency caused by the illuminati, that is not your fault and perfectly understandable.
Welcome to the New Republican Party, and don’t forget to sign our guest book on your way out.