That’s Just in There for Legal Reasons

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

You can take what I know about the Texas energy market and put it in the thimble. I know little about the energy market, but I do know a little about human nature. We are all greedy little monkeys at heart, just like our simian cousins. If we find a windfall, we want to keep it all for ourselves, keep it on the down low. See: Sutter’s Mill. I read that ERCOT, the Electric Reliability Board of Texas (* Oxymoron award nominee.) didn’t trade electricity with neighboring states but kept it all to themselves. One of those memory alarms goes off, and you hear your mother’s voice saying…” Don’t be stupid.”

I made a purchase at a local shop with my debit card. A screen came up and the clerk said, “Just put in your phone number.” I answered, I don’t want to put in my phone number. Let’s use yours! Well, that backed her up a step. There are only two reasons they want my phone number. Either they want to invite me to Sunday dinner and were just too bashful to ask for my number. Or they sell these phone numbers to people who sell extended auto warranty programs over the phone. If you want to sell products to me at wholesale direct pricing fine. If you want to comb me for information, you can bite me. And to whoever has the phone number 205 265-5645 sorry. It was mine in High School. Who knows, maybe you were pricing auto warranties anyway?

But when I hear about a market that doesn’t trade with anyone there can only be two reasons why. First, it is a blow hole of money shooting up out of the ground with crews working round the clock raking up the cash…or? You got a crooked little crap game going on here that you don’t want anyone to find out about it. No thanks, but if we trade across state lines we come under Federal Regulation. “We don’t need any Washington bureaucrats looking over our shoulders or checking our books! We’re Texans, strong and brave, fiercely independent! “If we’re gonna get robbed, we wanna get robbed by Texans!”

After my first divorce, the court mandated that I attend a self-awareness class. Learning to cope with divorce. The 90-minute class on Saturday morning was led by two psychologists who based their teachings largely around liberal swatches of the film Mrs. Doubtfire. It occurred to me that I was paying $175.00 to have Mrs. Doubtfire explained to me by medical professionals. I began to count heads and do the math. Each psychologist was gonna walk away with nine grand for ninety minutes of Robin Williams on a Saturday morning, less campaign and political donations, of course. You can’t keep all that yourself, you have to spread it around.

A crooked little crap game, a court ordered fleecing of the flock and you can’t argue against it. Who knows, it might do you some good? Robin Williams can be pretty convincing. Just pay the money…we got you. So, Texans are printing off unregulated power bills in the thousands of dollars for three days of service. You can just hear the echoes of some Republican politician saying, “Of course, it will never actually reach a 1000% that’s just in there for legal reasons.”

It is for the experts to decide who was at fault. Human nature tells us expensive winterization maintenance versus coins in our pocket when no one is looking? “Iceberg, what iceberg? What are the chances in big damn ocean like this? Full speed ahead!”

The head of ERCOT (Egregious Republicans Carving Out Texas) Has resigned along with four other board members. Nothing says, “No excuse sir,” like, run! The old, I need to spend more time with my family routine, effective immediately. I’ll send for my things! And to the people of Texas what have you to say besides…bye?

Slash and burn economics, we made big money today it doesn’t matter if the system crashes tomorrow. And the beauty of the system is the more we fuck up, the more we can charge! “Of course, it will never actually reach a 1000% that’s just in there for legal reasons.”

Lawsuits! Lawsuits! Lawsuits! $150 in groceries times fourteen million households. I bet they’re pinning up job applications on the bulletin boards in law schools all over America. Come to Texas, a beautiful lax deregulation environment means litigation is plentiful and lucrative! A one-party state government assures negligence like WD-40 on the stairs. Let’s see; your pipes froze after your power went out. How much were those estimates again? A Man-made Katrina disaster with billons in damages to tens of thousands of homes. A state government brought to its knees and a state paralyzed by Republican sponsored greed.

Harry Truman was never so angry as when Eisenhower began to sell off TVA dams to private power companies. Those were assets belonging to the people of the United States and the rates charged by public power kept private power honest. The faster they could chloroform public power the better. Once it’s a monopoly, our friends at the state public utilities commission will set the rates for us. “Of course, it will never actually reach a 1000% that’s just in there for legal reasons.”

There is only one reason possible that they don’t want to trade across borders. They don’t want anyone to see what is going on.

“We have always known that heedless self-interest was bad morals, we now know that it is bad economics.”

― Franklin Delano Roosevelt

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