By David Glenn Cox
The problem with being small is that when you reach the big stage you look microscopic. The rants and the Faux News buzzwords sound good on Twitter. But when the time eventually comes to put up or shut up, you can always tell the newbies at the nudist camp by their tan lines. The Democrats have The Squad, projecting a progressive platform and the Republicans have the usual suspects.
House Democrats proposed legislation condemning Myanmar’s military overthrow of an elected civilian government. But the usual suspects have a problem with that besides having no idea of where Myanmar is located. Wanna guess their issues? They claim the issue is “language”, but survey says…election integrity! Clown College 101, is this camera on? That’s the language they have an issue with, if they go off defending Democracy halfway around the world, it paints them into a corner at home.
Rep, Andy Biggs (AZ) says, “we can’t simply be the military police for the entire world. When we do that, that’s how we end up in Afghanistan for 20 years, that’s how we end up having military personnel in over 100 nations,” he said. “The resolutions won’t stop the military junta.”
Always one of my personal favorites, the abdication of duty and responsibility to the world community. Roosevelt said we must be a good neighbor Biggs says, “Fuck you! Go away! Just because we’ve got the largest economy in the world and have the most to lose, why do we always have to do it?” Whom would you suggest as our replacement, Russia? China? Biggs argues, “Look what happened when you put Republicans in charge last time” to bolster his claim. Do you want that to happen again?
I was the president of my Homeowners Association for five years. Not because I wanted to be the president on some crazy mad power trip, but because I did not want anyone else on some crazy mad power trip. I didn’t want block wardens measuring my grass on Saturday morning with a tape measure. When Bill Clinton put peace keep troops in Kosovo the shooting stopped. There was a war on European soil for the first time since you know when. How do you put a dollar amount on that? The last time war broke out in Europe, it got pretty nasty rather quickly. Maybe forgetting our common humanity, we can still agree war is the worst way ever devised to settle a disagreement. “I know, let’s let the Russians solve it!”
They appear as ants wandering across the stage this “Hold my breath until I turn blue” caucus wants to turn the issue into election integrity at home. “You know, Donald Trump won the election! Shawn Hannity says so and so does every other paper-thin crack pot conspiracy out there in the Reich wing media sphere.” Madame speaker, I rise today to voice my opposition to supporting democracy. To make it clear to the Myanmar military wherever that is. That we don’t care how many civilians they murder, we just want to take this opportunity whine about Donald Trump losing the election one more time. The chair recognizes the cry baby from Arizona. Marjorie Taylor Greene thinks Myanmar is a plastic wrap designed to keep food fresh.
Hey Maw, Look! I’m in Congress! Can you see my gun? Is my gun in the camera Maw? Biggs said, “The resolutions won’t stop the military Junta.” Let’s do nothing and just smile a sublime smile of blissful ignorance. After all, why should we support doing the right thing for people who can neither contribute to our campaigns or vote for us? I know not what course others may take but give me complacency or give me the opportunity to whine like a rusty gate. Just give him the Sudetenland that’s all he really wants.
The Pro-life law and order Party says, “Yeah, so what to violence and murder.” The Party for a strong national defense sucks its thumb in the corner clutching their orange security blanket. Though they might appear to be vicious they are merely inept. The monkey gets attention when it bangs on the metal pan. So small you could barely see them with a microscope, the lost patrol. Having no idea what they are doing or supposed to be doing, the usual suspects become the contrary caucus. “If Joe Biden is for it, we’s agin it!” Joe Biden loves dogs, “we hate dogs!” Joe Biden loves children, “we hate children! Nasty little crumb critters. Will it air at six o’clock?”
Just as the insurrectionists broke into the capitol and sat at Nancy Pelosi’s desk. The usual suspects also pretend to sit at a Congress persons desk and play act. Wearing a baseball cap sideways with a Groucho mustache like tits on a boar hog they offer nothing. A Congressional Delta House, shouting “Food Fight!” with a platform of nothing but vote no, and get on Faux News as much as you can. But Faux News is sinking faster than sunset in a John Wayne Vietnam war movie. Faux News is now third in the ratings. It appears without Captain Crazy, the Captain Crazy show is no fun anymore. When all that are left are these tiny little, pathetic microscopic creatures crawling across a stage and leaving behind a slime trail.
The usual Suspects, Andy Biggs, Lauren Boebert, Ken Buck, Ted Budd, Matt Gaetz, Marjorie Taylor Green, Andy Harris, Jody Hice, Thomas Massie, Mary Miller, Alex Mooney, Barry Moore, Scott Perry and Chip Roy all voted against condemning a brutal military take over of an elected democracy, because doing the right thing might make them look bad at home.
“Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through your Congressional term, son.”