By David Glenn Cox
What I am reminded of is auto-erotic asphyxiation. People trying to heighten their orgasm by suffocating themselves. If it works you get the big kick out of it but if it fails…you die. Georgia Governor, Brian Kemp has a rope around his neck and his hand on his…throttle. Stroking vigorously for attention and If, it works Kemp could be the dark horse Republican longshot of 2024. If it fails, the Georgia economy will be found hanging lifeless in a closet.
Already the talk of boycotting Coca Cola, but a Coke is only around a buck. Home Depot sells big ticket items and are the Republicans best friends in Georgia. Atlanta is a regional entertainment Mecca and after a year of quarantine probably can’t wait to get back on its feet. What they need right now is for the Governor to create a fiasco and give the state a black eye. Especially supporting legislation so heinous as to draw the ire of the President and so unconstitutional as to line the bottom of a bird cage. In the classic film, “Full Metal Jacket” Gunnery Sargent Hartman finds a jelly doughnut in Private Pyle’s footlocker. He forces the other men to do push ups as punishment while Pyle eats the doughnut. Or in this case Kemp eats the doughnut while the Georgia economy does the pushups.
It’s the old razzle dazzle pretend to wave the Confederate flag while pretending not to wave the Confederate flag. Nod, nod, wink, wink, Bobs your uncle. They’ll never figure it out! Aren’t we clever? This will put us up in good with the national polls for sure. They see the world through a Faux News indoctrination camp mentality and fail to see how it appears to the rest of the outside world. So, Kemp defends himself on the Faux News regurgitron with, “What? I don’t see a problem.” The rest of the world sees Neil Young tuning up to play Southern Man on his head. Banjos and bullshit, flaming crosses of red ink. He best sleep with one eye open, those pushups can be tiring.
We had a conservative cigar chewing gun toting Mayor in Montgomery, who became a parody of himself. The joke was “Why doesn’t the Mayor shower after a round of golf at the Montgomery Country Club?” He’s afraid his pistols will get rusty. He loved those conservative right wing lost causes like prayer at high school football games. He was always quick to start legal proceedings on the front page. And would later accept defeat quietly below the fold. His conservative nature was getting expensive to the cities legal department. The Mayor got the headlines, and the taxpayers got the bill.
This is Kemp’s stand in the schoolhouse door moment. His chance to garner the national limelight. A chance to surge past the other dynamic potential Republican candidates like Mike Pence or Ted Cruz. I can hear conventions being cancelled from here. I dunno, imitating George Wallace in 2021 seems a might risky when you consider how it worked out for George back in the day. Maybe if the Majors doesn’t remove the All-Star game from Atlanta, the players might decline to play. That could be embarrassing, like meeting the church choir coming out of the liquor store while you’re going in. The second or third tier All-Star take a knee game and the knowledge that the choir doesn’t drink with you.
All for one little piece of legislation destined to be thrown out by the first courtroom available. A governor pimping out his state to look good with the Faux News base. But brother can you spare a billion? Remember me? I was the kid with the drum telling lies and making the bucks. And now I drive the Faux News bus pass since they took my moped away. Facing a potential four billon dollar legal liability Faux fired Lou Dobbs and shushed other “opinion” hosts. But the horse is out of the barn, if you print lies and I provide proof to you that they are lies, and you persist? How many zeros in a billion again? Faux didn’t just say their momma was fat. They said Dominion was a criminal enterprise funded by Cuba to elect Hugo Chavez all to advance the grand Socialist world revolution. How will Dominion ever disprove that? Besides maybe articles of incorporation and a financial prospectus.
Either way Dominion is ruined, a two-billon dollar judgement is just as destructive to both sides. Hard to keep your eye on the ball when you keep thinking of all that lovely money just sitting there in the bank and Tahiti is so close. Such are the pitfalls of victory, but for the defeated the issue becomes how to fire employees for cause when they have caused the economic necessity. Like Kemp they sold a bolt of bullshit to draw the limelight on themselves and now must pay the piper’s attorneys. Faux gambled after pissing off orange Trumpy for correctly calling Arizona. Faux feared losing their all-important vital demographic of braindead to sixty-five and took a chance.
For Faux, like the State of Georgia, the money is secondary. To be publicly stripped naked and have their heads shaved. Exposed before your peers as liars’ racists and propagandists. The crew that took the most successful cable news channel in America and put her right into the wall. Or a governor who put his state’s reputation right into the wall. Why sure, I want some of those people on my team! The 1919 Chicago Black Sox reincarnated the Faux Sox with shoeless Tucker Carlson or loosely connected Lou Dobbs or contemptible Kemp.
It has been proved true yet again, Donald Trump ruins everything he touches. He is the one who brought both Georgia and Faux News to the edge and now over the edge.