By David Glenn Cox
There are bound to be troubles on monkey island without their leader. It seemed like such a good idea but now, without a leader they are lost. It is a kamikaze flight that began long ago fighting communist water fluoridation or women in trousers. Protecting America by protecting White Middle-class values against them! You know who (Fill in the Blank) Gays are going to convert your children! There are Communists in the State Department! Barack Obama is a Muslim. Fear mongering, enemy de jure and the only way to get to the front of the line is to out extreme the extremists. If you want the monkeys to follow you must bang the drum and give them red meat.
5G is about mind control and the government stores all of your texts in a secret warehouse forever! “Honey, stop and pick up a gallon of milk” Oh, they’ve got me now! If only I’d known in advance. The North Koreans just test fired a new missile. Do they have another one? Probably not, but they could probably scrounge something together by the end of the month. North Korea is a country of outhouses and since the cold winter and the fuel shortages, a nation of outhouses without front doors.
But they look pretty tough on paper and they are communists but then, who isn’t? Barry Goldwater had a plan for world peace. Nuke the Communist Chinese before they got too big for their britches. Commit premeditated mass murder of millions. We might as well kill them now as later. If it wasn’t for fear and paranoia, they wouldn’t have a platform at all. Did you know? ”They” (The Government Cletus) can control the weather from a secret base in Alaska? It’s true!!! They can send hurricanes and droughts! The system works so well they used it on Texas to create an ice storm. Such is the scuttlebutt on the Reich Wing, and the question unasked is why?
Some mad scientist in a laboratory in a James Bond movie laughing maniacally, “Now I’ve got you Texas! Have some snow and ice! I’ll burst your pipes and ruin your drywall as I pet my cat!” It just has to be a good story it doesn’t have to be a true one. “I’ll dry out your forests and send hurricanes to your Gulf Coast.” Why if I didn’t know any better, I would almost think it was random. Q-Anon has it figured that Matt Gaetz is a patriot being crucified by the pro pedophile wing of the pizza eating cannibals of the deep state. Gaetz is down but not out. He still has Marjorie Taylor Greene and Jim Jordan on his side! Remember the Alamo! Without a leader they just walk around bumping into each other.
Insane clown Florida Governor, Ron Desantis issued an executive order banning the use of Covid -19 Medical passports. Calling them an invasion of Americans rights that they should need to provide proof of inoculations in the course of their daily lives. Yet somehow feels the opposite when it comes to voting rights. These Trumpian governors behaving in Trumpian ways, but the brass monkey is gone. Elvis has left the building; it didn’t sound so crazy when he said it. But now the choir has stopped singing leaving the soloists their voices cracking to carry on with the song.
Not since Sherman has there been such a fire in Atlanta. So, imagine you just paid many, many Euros to put the Mercedes Benes name on the new stadium in Atlanta. The new stadium in racist Georgia and we just paid millions to have our name connected with theirs. A stadium funded in part by the taxpayer’s now damaged by legislation assuring it will never be used for national events ever again. If I were Mercedes, I’d ask for my money back.
They never thought it would get this bad. Republicans write restrictive voting laws all the time. What makes this one so special? They might have got away with it if the mad monkey was still at the controls. But he is gone from here now and the cacophony chorus of crazy is gone as well. The landscape has flipped polarity as Republicans are suddenly worried about children in detention and budget deficits. They don’t like what Joe Biden is doing but have no suggestions themselves except for him to stop being Joe Biden.
Marjorie Taylor Greene says cross fit training is her protection against Covid-19. Only by substituting the words Coco Puffs for cross fit could it be anymore childish. But their contrary natures paint them in the corner. You can’t get a shot for a disease you don’t believe is true. You can’t say you don’t believe in Bigfoot after you bought his toenails on eBay. After the Colorado massacre, Lindsey Graham doubles down with photos of him shooting his AR-15. Because he wants to defend his home from…them.
These are their leaders coming to the forefront. Their best and their brightest. Mitch McConnell has one eye on the door declining the role as ringmaster. Pressing the buttons, they once could get away with pressing under the orange cover of darkness. The battle is over, and the Republicans retreat like Napoleon from the gates of Moscow shattered and bled white. Nothing left but cooks and paymasters, no cannons or ideas. No bullets or brain trusts, it’s every monkey for him or herself from here on out. I tells ya, ya need a score card to keep up with the scandals.
Gosar in Arizona, Gaetz in Florida, Greene in Georgia, Kemp in Georgia. Boebert in Colorado, Cancun Ted Cruz and the big kahuna the Trump tuna. The Keystone political Party. Republicans roll a stone away from a tomb, three dead and two injured details at eleven. I swear, they could fuck up a bread sandwich with a fresh loaf of bread and cut themselves with a butter knife. It’s hard to keep dancing after the organ grinder stops.