By David Glenn Cox
“It was the best of times and the worst of times,” how true. For a political animal like myself it is a feeding frenzy at the Red Tide Café. A joyous bounty of schadenfreude with fries and a slice of pie. I’ve been waiting twenty years for the wings to fall off. I’m reminded of a WW2 P.O.W. Camp located next to a Luftwaffe training base. The prisoners with nothing to do would watch the planes take off and root for one to crash. One day a Messerschmitt left the runway rose up into the air and then stalled and crashed. The prisoners were beside themselves with joy. It was as if they had willed the plane into the ground. The knowledge at a training base, sooner or later somebody is going to screw up and when they do…we will be watching!
The Party of brain-dead Reagan with ketchup as a vegetable. Now sits in time out thumbing through the Junior’s section of the J.C. Penny catalog picking out girls they would like to date. Counting their money on Apple play to see if they have enough for the hotel room, dinner, the Cartoon Network and wine coolers. Mister X wants cash, he ain’t stupid, standard operating procedure in the drug trade. Matt Gaetz, underage girls and now drugs! “Oh God if you could find it in your mercy to allow a video tape. I would never ask for anything else ever again!” Matt Gaetz on Ecstasy, now that is some “must watch” TV there!
It fades to a side show what with Republicans about to add Major League Baseball to their Football boycott. “You’re watching the Cornhole Network regional finals, Southern Indiana versus Northern Ohio.” About to boycott Coca-Cola and respond to cancel culture by cancelling everything. But there is nothing left on their desk to talk about. Abortion has gone to the courts; budget restraint just makes people smile. Gun control can’t be spoken about for obvious reasons leaving Baseball. Baseball isn’t just a club; it is a unionized business. And if a host state passes legislation deemed hostile to the player’s association, they have every right to refuse to play in a voluntary game in a hostile environment.
Admiral Orange Crunch, the pied piper of Republicanism took the Republicans over the rainbow bridge and a bridge too far. After twenty years of conspiracies and pedophile pizza parlors how are you going to get their attention on budget reconciliation? “Lock her up! Lock her up!” Then they began eating their own with John McCain as Trump boycotted the funeral (Cancel Culture) and fumed about the media. Georgia Governor, Brian Kemp was a Trump darling before becoming a Trump enemy, just like Mike Pence. So yesterday they were great guys, now they are Rhino’s (don’t vote for Rhinos). Just vote for the Republicans I say pass muster. Dividing their base into armed camps suspicious of each other’s motives. Their big tent becomes a series of pup tents before a firing squad.
Former Governor and chief tire repair attendant, Mike Huckabee, tweeted that he would identify himself as “Chinese” so US corporations would like him. It’s like taking bad taste to an art form. Implying that someone is getting special treatment that you’re not getting. Remember those photos of Nazi book burnings? This is the same thing; Trump started a racist fire blaming the Chinese for Covid -19 and now Huckabee throws racist volumes on the fire. Cops arresting State Senators for knocking on the door and the Senator from Utah is going to boycott Major League Baseball even if there isn’t a franchise within a thousand miles. So there, take that! Grasping at straws along the border but no one is dancing the Macarena anymore. Everyone in the fearosphere is still interested, but it’s just not the same without the orange chimp leading the band. It’s Bozo’s circus without Bozo!
I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy but if it happens to happen, I will enjoy every minute of it. I will enjoy Bozo splitting his pants when he bends over and bumping his head when he stands up straight. Choking on the ground his floppy red shoes kicking at the earth as he chokes on his harmonica after attempting the more difficult a solo from Free bird. As the audience laughs thinking it’s all part of the act and begins to cheer his convulsions!
We have before us the greatest chance to move the ball forward in a generation. The stars are aligned and only Bozo is in our way. Looking outraged and perplexed, unable to grasp what is going on around them. Trying to incite the electorate already bored and over stimulated by the orange apocalypse. Nearly three and four Americans Republicans included, say voting should be easier and not harder. They strike out on their quest a minority party antagonistic to three quarters of the voters and 100% of corporate doners. I’m no mathematician but that’s no way to win an election, it’s going to take a heap of Gerrymandering to make that work.
Post Trump, the Republicans have no political philosophy. It’s just a brand like “Diet Snickers or low-fat ice cream.” A used car salesman trying to sell a 58 Hudson as a 57 T-bird. Trying to sell us gas guzzler when we want a Tesla. Matt Gaetz, Loraine Bobert and Marjorie Taylor Greene are the symptoms, not the germ. From district’s that would elect a three toed sloth if it wore a tee shirt that said Republican. They are easy enough to cover up when the group is cohesive. But without a leader the camera looks for someone seeking attention and they bubble like hives to the surface. Each trying to out extreme the other until they end up on Hadley rille saluting the flag.
Out of touch, out of step and out of time.
“It was the best of times and the worst of times,”