By David Glenn Cox
Trump gave us the flash of Republican lightening and now we hear the distant rumble of the thunder. The first potential, the rest remainder. Without their orange headliner, it’s all sidemen trying to break into the big time as sword swallowers or harlequins. Mitch McConnell once had a fine career, now he looks like a dog turd that’s been stepped on. From the leader of the pack to old McDonald had a farm, e, I, e, I, oh! Just think, if Trump had actually formulated his “Really great” healthcare proposal they might have something to run on today and advocate for. Instead, they have nothing but smoke and grievance. Still trying to wipe the exploding cigar of January 6th from their faces.
In between Matt Gaetz preferred customer card at Chucky Cheese and the Florida Election commission General Council being arrested for child porn sits Florida Governor, Ron DeSantis. Long a favorite ball washer and recreational entertainment receptacle for the orange apocalypse. DeSantis is suing the Federal Government and the CDC after he botched the vaccine delivery and poo pooed mask mandates and vaccination records. Do you know who is in the way here? You are! The man responsible for the 5-alarm fire will now sue the fire department, while parking his car in front of the hydrant. He wants the government to allow the Cruise industry to return to sailing.
Under Republican logic if the cruise industry were to be allowed to sail. The ships would fill instantly with tourists, and it would be just like the good ole days again. We’ve got to do something; we’ve got to get rid of that piece of paper! If I were to win an all-expense paid, ten-day first-class cruise of the Caribbean. I’d say, “thanks but no thanks, call me next year.” After a year and over half a million dead Americans this guy is still saying, “It’s okay, don’t worry it’ll be fine.” Attention passengers this is your entertainment director. Will the following passengers please return to their incredibly small staterooms for a mandatory fourteen-day quarantine due to a Covid-19 outbreak…that would be everyone.
Be it waiting for roast beef at the buffet or elbowing into the bar for another beer. Welcome aboard the S.S. Petry dish and her sister ship the S.S. Charles Darwin. A wise man once told me not to pull on death’s cape. Not to run from danger, but not try and make friends with it either. I could give you lurid statistics about what is found in the waters of public pools beside water. You would never go into a public pool again once you know what’s in the hot dog. A cruise ship is just like a public pool only with the water on the outside.
This is it folks! This is their “A” Team. From this murder’s row of the 1927 Yankees comes, Matt Gaetz, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Brian Kemp, Ron DeSantis and coming soon…Sarah Huckabee Scammers. She’s been anointed by King Blotto of orange and Faux News. She is a shoe in, in the land that literacy forgot. From this heap will come the Republican Presidential timber of 2024. Fighting for American freedom from mask mandates and vaccination cards. How far do they think that is going to take them? It gives you a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. The Three Stooges without the wisdom of Moe or the grace of Curley. Just Shemp and Joe Besser in the limelight as generals fighting the last war.
Why, oh why do I think the Republican National Committee will choose Atlanta as their host city in 2024? Because they are just that dumb. “If you thought that was stupid! Watch this!” After telling the unemployed millions, “You don’t need a check!” After telling the vulnerable, “You don’t need a mask!” A New York Republican has resigned after saying that Gay people should be put on an Island. He issued a strongly worded apology saying he was real sorry ya’ll heard that and it has been very painful for him and his family. KKK flier’s liter the nearly all white and exclusively Republican enclave of Huntington Beach, California. Bracing for a White Lives Matter rally, but bracing isn’t the right word. Preparing, getting the water bottles on ice and the local merchants putting up the welcome banners hiring parking attendants and such. They don’t run from it; this is the remainder. This is what is in the hotdog. Choose your racism wisely, the benign mussing’s of Mike Pence or the firebrand kamikaze stylings of Brian Kemp.
Almost no longer a political Party, more of a National Enquirer meets The Firesign Theater. Nick Danger meet’s cancel culture and Deputy Dan is not your friend. Don’t get into the police car with Deputy Dan or with Matt Gaetz. “Everything you know is wrong!” You don’t need a mask! And you don’t need science. Trust me, the earth was once a blob of goo scraped from god’s tennis shoe. What else do you need to know? Sign the check and I promise, once I get to Washington. I’ll fix Major League Baseball’s little red wagon and Coke-a-cola too! How dare they condemn our racism!
I don’t know how it can be considered as anything but the end. “The end of laughter and soft lies.” Rand Paul has received the early Trump endorsement after taking advantage of Trump’s buy now and save 10% plan. But Rand is from the land where reading and writing is considered showing off anyway. Why does he need Trump’s endorsement? Could it be he was puffing the goods for Trump, priming the pump so to speak? Y’all gonna need one of these if you’re planning on running for office in November. The whole of the Republican Party a Ponzi scheme, steal yourself rich. Kiss the girls and make them cry.