The Lost Continent of Republicanism

By David Glenn Cox

The modern Republican has everything to offer from soup to nuts. These are the dregs at the end of the wine barrel. The beer keg spitting foam and hissing carbon dioxide. Liz Chenny fist bumped the President, and the Republican’s responded like she had kissed an alien from another world. Chenny’s objectives are clear, she is attempting to form a saner wing of the Republican Party and she has the old guard nervous. Being a Republican in Congress is like being a mouse in a cat shelter. You can do whatever you want until you get caught. You can be Steve King or Marjorie Taylor Greene until they take away your committee assignments. Wanna be a White Supremacist? Sure, come on in. Religious nut? Survivalist? All three?

Are they trying to take your guns again? Are the vibrations coming through the tin foil? Is God balling you out for something you didn’t do? Maybe you’re from the banging teenagers and doing ecstasy wing of the party. It’s okay, you’re welcome here! Who hasn’t banged an occasional teenaged prostitute and done a few recreational drugs? Hey! It’s Florida, what do you expect? Go sit by Jim Jordan he likes kids and maybe can give you a few pointers on sex scandals. It was a few years back a California Republican anti-Gay legislator was caught dancing in leather chaps and a motorcycle cap inside a Gay club. He’d been tracked there by the state vehicle he had been driving at the time. Even on an amateur level that’s dumb. The Narc who shows up for the drug buy with those little antennas sticking out of the car with a Municipal license plate.

Like Generals fighting the last war the Republicans continue to ape the ape. But the ersatz banana eater is gone now and as Joe Biden lays out his agenda…Ted Cruz goes to sleep. Throwing spitballs and writing on the desks the Republicans clown while America watches. After the first battle of Gay Marriage Gulch Republicans lost badly as too many Americans had Gay family members to gin up the hate needed to support a movement. So now it’s on to bathrooms and locker rooms. Picking on children…real smart. But picking on children is becoming a growth industry outside of Jim Jordan and Matt Gaetz. As Kansas Republican Mark Samsel was arrested after kneeing a high school student in the nuts. Samsel was acting as a substitute teacher and was trying to illustrate what happens to you when you disobey God. Gay parents lead to suicide and masturbation is bad. Samsel gave the full “Old Time Gospel Hour” treatment complete with physical abuse.

How do you respond to a twenty-first-century man behaving as Torquemada? How did this man ever get elected to a position of authority let alone on the substitute teacher list? I’d hate to think about what he might have has hanging in his closet.  A grown man abusing teenage boys but in the name of God of course. Teaching them right from wrong by putting his hands on them. Red flag! Red flag! The scout master wants to see you in his tent right away. Be prepared!

Redistricting has lent three house seats in Republican strongholds. Two in Texas and one in Montana, but Texas is best described as a crumbling stronghold. These two seats in Texas came from a population that used to live somewhere else, like California or New York. Ted Cruz barely defeated Beto O’Rourke two years ago, but how would it go today after Cancun-gate and snorapaloosa? Ice storms, power outages and five figure power bills. You can raise the gas tax and maybe people remember and maybe they don’t. But knock out the power let their pipes freeze and put them out of work and voter’s will remember that.

The five hundred thousand plus dead from Covid 19 have families too and they will remember the voices of those calling it a plot and a scam. “It will disappear like magic.” You don’t need a mask; you don’t need a shot, you don’t need a check, you don’t need to vote. “Whatever it is I’m against it! No matter what it says or who commenced it, I’m against it!”

On top of Republican failures, eruptions and insurrections has been the success of Joe Biden. Apparently, Americans get it. If you want a crop in the fall, you must plant seeds now. Potholes and bridges can’t be repaired with thoughts and prayers alone. Apparently, competence sells as 100 million Americans have been vaccinated and the end of the pandemic is in sight. Mitch McConnell was worried about workers suing their employees for exposing them to a deadly disease. Now the deadly disease is going away not with litigation but with medication. Seems taxing billionaires is a pretty popular idea with the electorate and the Republicans have no counter.

This is the end for the Republicans, this is where it turns toxic. Every Marjorie Taylor Greene elected keeps a sane Republican from running at all somewhere in the country. That’s where the noise and the thunder are and if you want to play street hockey you gotta play by their rules and crazy up. Mitch McConnell and Kevin McCarthy are the Republican leadership and yet are powerless as the monkeys take over the zoo. Swinging from the rafters and howling at the moon. Pro-petroleum in an anti-petroleum world, anti-vaccination amidst a worldwide pandemic. Anti-Trans, anti-Gay, anti- Brown, anti-Black, anti-everything except pro-White.

Fifty Percent of Republicans think the George Floyd verdict was wrong. The same number think Biden didn’t rightfully win the election. And as Australia broke away from Pangaea, new and different species evolved there unrecognizable to their forefathers. Strange Kangaroos and Wallabies found nowhere else but on the lost continent of Republicanism. Drifting into obscurity, the hit parade in the echo chamber. Drooling to the oldies. Grandpa ranting again about what people don’t need and didn’t need back in the good old days.  Growing older as America grows younger.

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