“I’d give him an “A”

Chris Christie being interviewed on Faux News

By David Glenn Cox

Republicans are outraged and demanding change. They have seen their Party dragged in the dirt and want something done about it. They want change and they want it now. Get rid of Liz Cheney and get rid of Mitt Romney! Communists’ heretics and blasphemers! They who speak agin the Holey one. The orange one full of holes. Romney was recently greeted by boos and catcalls from the Mormon faithful. Mitt’s not just a Senator but also a Bishop in the Mormon Church. I think one cult is being supplanted by another. “Watch em Mitt. If history is any guide, they might turn on you and the magic underwear won’t work.”  

Republicans in Iowa seek to prove their cruelty is as high as the corn in July. Passing legislation allowing Landlords to refuse tenants with Section 8 vouchers. Let’s review, Section 8 vouchers were the answer to public housing projects. The idea was to mainstream tenants into decent housing with a subsidy. The Iowa law will create two tiers, those that don’t and those that do. The elimination of the bulk of available rental property will drive up the price and defeat the purpose of the law to provide people with decent housing. Really, how much can you hate your fellow man? Are there no puppies to kick? Are there no flies still with wings?

In Missouri voters elected to expand Medicaid and Republicans in the state house answer. “They don’t know what they’re talking about it is too expensive, no!” In South Dakota voters chose to legalize Cannabis with the proceeds going towards environmental projects. Republicans then changed the law using most of the proceeds for addiction treatment and a pittance for the environment. Why should we listen to voters? They’re all on the hillbilly heroin! You know, opiates have created one of the largest threats to White people in a generation. We need treatment centers and care and compassion, and we’d like that subsidized please. It was an old Days Inn motel by the airport, but we’ve hired a couple of grad students and a nurse. Now it is a treatment center…” The Money Land Treatment Center.” Where your care is only second to the money.

Nothing said about Matt Gaetz, no complaints or condescension. No problem with Rudy Guiliani “A patriot “and consumer of fine spirits in wholesale volumes. In the Borat Movie where Rudy is playing with himself trying to get the little pony to whinny. Did anyone else notice that there was no shock or surprise? A two hundred- and fifty-year-old man about to get it on with a teenager and there is no surprise? Just another hump day for Rudy, just another teenager?  Does it happen so often it has become mundane, or he just doesn’t remember them all anymore?

Whatever happened to Phallus Schlafly and the Party of goody goodies? Bill Clinton was a fallen man unfit to be our President due to his moral turpitude.  Now the attorney for the FORMER President of the United States plays with himself on the big screen and no one says a word. Payoffs to porn stars and candidates with more ex-wives than historical eruptions of Mount Vesuvius, but it’s alright. It is okay because we only believe what we want to believe. We will crucify the heretics and only call for Barrabas if the coin is good.

Once the Party of stick up our Assadism they now find themselves the Party of Rape charges, drugs charges, teenage prostitutes, crooked Marijuana deals and answer with…So? “If you think I’m going to resign because of having sex with a teenage prostitute while on ecstasy for money, you’re crazy!” You tell em Matt! You stick to your guns!”

This happens in all cults as right and wrong behavior devolves down to who. Solomon needs a few more concubines and Jim Jones is looking for a few good brides. Mike Pence the man afraid to be alone in a room with a woman, not his wife vows to cancel, cancel culture. He’s so far out of touch he’s from an 1890s Barbershop Quartet talking about the ice cream social. He’s Pat Boone singing “Tutti Fruity” Yeah, he’s really with it man! That cat is really far out! Let’s listen to him! But he’s a heretic too, he didn’t throw the election like the orange nightmare wanted him too. So now he wanders aimlessly spouting Bible verses and pretending to still be relevant. He enters the pantheon of former Republican Vice-Presidents such as Dan Quyale and Richard Nixon and Dick Cheney in the Museum of those no longer spoken about.

Former Governor and criminal mastermind Chris Christie told Faux News, he would grade the Trump administration highly except for a few mistakes. Mishandling the pandemic, the insurrection. The two impeachments and embarrassing the United States in Helsinki. Being used by the North Koreans has to rank as a mistake as was assassinating Iranian generals. The tax cut that didn’t pay for itself. Calling for the injection of beach could be counted as a mistake. Letting the unpopular First Lady tear up the very popular Rose Garden remaking it into Stalinist Rumanian Art sculpture thing must be included as a mistake as was the child separation policy a mistake. Tear gassing crowds so you could have a photo op was a mistake as was putting your son in law who could not get a security clearance in charge of Middle East Negotiations was a mistake. Sounding like a mob boss on the telephone was probably a mistake too.

Withholding aide approved by Congress could be a mistake and going after the whistle blowers was definitely a mistake. Taking money away from the Pentagon to build your border wall pet project didn’t make you any friends in uniform. Just like withholding aide to Puerto Rico didn’t earn you any friends in South Florida. Calling Nazis and White Supremist real fine people could be a mistake. Ruling as a demagogue could be a mistake. It could take the Party twenty years to undo that one. But other than that, Chris Christie says, “I’d give him an “A” it was only four years.

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