You Must Be This High

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

Extra, Extra, Read all about it! Trump Attorney General declared lying sack of shit! You just have to wonder about some people’s motivation. That’s where the former worst Attorney General in American history once lived. “Maybe if I study really hard, I could be a Presidential scrotum washer someday.” A feckless toady with status, prestige, and a historical gonorrhea that will follow him to the grave and beyond. Your name whispered darkly and remembered on campus as “That Guy.” And warned on day one, “don’t be that guy!” Barred from judging the pie eating contests or the sack race at the annual Shriner’s picnic and becoming famous as the Jesse James of Attorney Generals.

Fortunately, Facebook did not need Bill Barr’s litigation skills to decide to enforce their lifetime ban on former President Hemorrhoid. Why was this even a question? Did someone at Facebook forget who Donald Trump is? The day Trump is unbanned from Facebook Las Vegas will begin giving odds on the day when he will be re-banned from Facebook.  An answer without a question, a generation of fortune tellers and soothsayers. Gee, how did they know? The master of lies and deceit has told his faithful he’s going to start his own TV network and start his own social media and run for President again in 2024. So far, he ain’t done nothing but start his mouth and complain about the heat in Mira Lago.

Nearly six months after the fact the former yellow wig model still maintains he won the Presidential race. Various states through various means stole the election and even after the returns have been certified codified and placed in the historical record the former yellow wig model keeps his suitcase packed by the door for his return trip to Washington…in glory! Joe Biden and Kamala Harris with be forced to slink out of town as the Biden’s furniture is quickly removed from the White House. It is one of those Trump things. You never know for sure if Trump is a fool who really believes these things or is just trying to fool the other fools. He’s gonna buy a TV network and start his own social media! And maybe we don’t have to wait until 2024.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me over and fucking over again and insult my intelligence while doing it, and I’m a Trump supporter. You must be this high to be this low. The Orange heaven’s gate cult. Look, either you believe that aliens are coming in a UFO behind the comet to rescue us from imminent destruction or you are a RINO. So put on your jumpsuit lace up your track shoes and get into bed! Kevin McCarthy has been reclassified as an invertebrate and is no longer allowed to legally use any restroom in Texas. McCarthy is playing Wrenfield to Trump’s Dracula. “Please master! More bugs! Give me more bugs to eat! The master is going to make me Speaker of the House one day. But first, more bugs!”

This is Trumpalooza there is only one direction one can go. Push forward and never retreat. For if you retreat you risk getting caught in the barbed wire of your own bullshit. Push forward past the January 6th insurrection. Change the narrative and change it now! If we stop talking about voter theft, we might talk about the insurrection. If we talk about the insurrection Kevin McCarthey might have to testify about the phone call, he made to the orange skid stain on the sixth begging Trump to call off the dogs of war. Trump reportedly responded, “Well Kevin, I guess they are just more upset about this than you are.” The pugnacious puffery and pilfering platitudes of Fred Flintstone as mob boss. This is the cult of the perpetually gullible, playing on their racism and insecurities of bank book and genital dimensions.

Let’s burn Liz Cheney at the stake; she’s a witch! I saw her dancing naked in the moonlight fist bumping the devil. She has a long nose and a black cat too! The cult leader turns the mob loose on the one person who calls into question the cult. What did you say Mitt? “Ah, nothing. I didn’t say nothing!” Surprise, surprise! Here comes Congressman Ryan, get the guns. No, tie her to the dunking stool and we will hold her underwater for ten minutes and if she is still alive after that, she’s a witch!

A fake and pretend Christian and fake and pretend honest businessman. A fake and pretend Presidential Administration with four cabinet members in four years referred to the Justice Department for prosecution. The Justice Department responds, in an effort to save time and manpower, will only go after officials not suspected of crimes in the Administration. Thus leaving them little to do but hold their nose and change the diapers. The hoosters in the hustings suspect nothing. “Golly, look at all these charges on my Mastercard. I only meant to donate once!” Fifty percent of Republicans don’t believe Joe Biden was legally elected. Try winning an election with fifty percent of Republicans, at best half of a half is a quarter.

The con man has pulled the scam and now the suckers in Congress must hold their bags open waiting for snipe that they know aren’t coming, but it is too late for them now. Too late to get off the bus they have bought the ticket and must now take the ride regardless of what the orange madman has in store for them. He’s going to start his own TV network and his own social media channel, but I haven’t seen any stock offerings yet. A fantasy inside of a dream inside of a con inside of a scam. The ultimate pyramid scheme, make them think you are running for President while you’re actually running from the law. Just waiting for the bamboo ballots to be discovered. Waiting for the election to be declared illegal and Trump to be renamed the President. So put on your jumpsuit and lace up your track shoes. You don’t want the aliens to see you looking like that, do you?

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