Feeding the Pigeons

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

The Republican leadership wheeled Elise Stefanick out in the ceremonial lifting of the severed head of Liz Cheney. Stefanick had that glow of the assistant manager just put in charge of French fries and given the mantle of authority, her first red paper hat. The virgin chosen queen of the damned, unaware that she will be thrown in the volcano at a moments notice if the gods require it. They put her on display for the crowd to see. We have eliminated the heretic who would not follow orders and replaced her with someone who will. Do you hear that America? Any sense of backbone or independence by any Republican will be crushed.

In an attempt at party unity, they display the opposite. They bring out a sheep surrounded by wolves and talk about their big wool tent. “We are proud to appoint Elise to be our number three Republican. She was chosen for her skill at keeping her mouth shut and is fully capable of continuing to keep her mouth shut. She will now tow the Party line and never ever talk back even when asked to get the coffee.” Elise Stefanick is their figurehead for the new Republican Party. Do what you’re told, shut up and repeat. It’s not Eric Clapton who is God but Donald Trump.

There is an old expression in the military that a court martial ends two careers. The one charged and the one bringing the charges. To publicly expel a member from leadership for not towing the line while bringing in a Hudsucker proxy to take her place does not show strength. It shows the craven nature of Republican politics. They love you! You’re the best! Boy oh boy, maybe President in a few years! Only to find yourself sitting on the curb unloved, unwanted, and unknown to Republican leadership. You remember what that last women did, don’t you? Don’t ever do that!

It was long before Republican Speaker of the House, Dennis Hastert was sentenced to prison for being a serial child molester. This was back in the days when he was still defending Tom Delay from charges of money laundering and campaign finance charges. But before Hastert began defending Mark Foley for texting sexual messages and nude photos to male Congressional pages. Hastert became nearly a legend for his pay to play political style, but Republicans had no objections. $500,000 to withdraw a statement on the Armenian Genocide paid by the Turkish government, sounds fair. Hastert wasn’t run from office for being a serial child rapist; he was defended by his Republican brethren to his last day.

In 2006, the House Ethics Committee found Hastert and “other Congressional Leaders were “willfully ignorant” in responding to reports of Foley’s behavior.  The House Majority leader John Boehner and head of the RNC Thomas Reynolds say they spoke to Hastert about Foley as early as 2002, but Hastert has no recollection of any of these conversations. Bush White House press Secretary Josh Earnest said, “There is nobody here,” at the White House “who derives any pleasure from reading about the former Speaker’s legal troubles at this point.” [ Child Rape = legal troubles] John Boehner on Hastert’s last day said, “The Denny I worked with worked hard on behalf of his constituents and the country. I’m shocked and saddened to learn of these reports.”

Defend a pedophile rapist? Sure, why not. He was a great guy! Defend a drunken frat boy Supreme Court nominee with a beer keg in his dorm room from rape allegations? Sure, why not. He was a great guy! Defend a coke snorting Congressman who buys sex from teenagers. Merriam Webster describes that as a “Creepazoid.” Having an unnatural fascination with young girls way too young for you and using drugs and money to enable you to molest them. There is something bad wrong with Marge Green. The clock strikes the hour, but the little bird no longer comes out and sings. Stripped of her committee assignments she is basically a Congressional troll. A Congressional bag lady yelling at the sun baying at the moon and feeding the pigeons in between.  Representative Eric Swalwell said, he’s convicted people for stalking with less evidence than Greene’s trolling of AOC. “Who Marge? She a great gal, we like her a lot.”

Their love of Trump is based on his being the most successful career criminal in the history Republican Party. He’s the Mickey Mantle of Republicans. Did he take election help from Russia? Sure, he did, don’t be a chump. Did he try to extort the Ukraine? Of course, he did. God, don’t be such a simpleton. Did he use the White House for personal gain? Duh! Did he beat two impeachments? You bet he did! Did he try and overthrow an election and incite an insurrection?

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about. What insurrection? Do you mean that tour bus that went through here a few days ago? You know, most of the people who died were Trump supporters!” So are most of the people trying to use a Mr. Coffee in the bathtub, so what? “Well, you have to expect a few bad apples in every group; most were peaceful.” Only one President was killed November 22, 1963, other than that it was a fine day. It’s not about the puppets it’s about the puppet master. Never mind what Wille Bob from Dry Booger, West Virginia did.

As if awakened from a dream the Republicans find themselves lost in themselves. In this dream in the euphoria of alcohol teen sex, cocaine and the delirium of the Trump regime they’d been convinced they could easily overthrow an election. They awoke to find themselves knee deep in heathens and Willie Bob’s and it suddenly occurs to them. “This won’t work! What were we thinking?”

Only one path is open, “You are feeling sleepy, very sleepy. When I count to five, you will remember nothing!” And five! We are very pleased today to introduce Elise Stefanick as our new number three House Republican. We know that working with Elise will make our Party stronger and bring unity to the Party.

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