Come on in Buddy

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

And the winner of this month’s Donald Trump/ Shirley Jackson lottery is Kevin McCarthy. Past winners include Michael Cohen, Jeff Sessions and Liz Cheney.  Old Kev has been busy of late passing out ammunition for the circular firing squad. A leading Kool Aid manufacturer in Washington and assassin of Liz Cheney but old Kev had no choice in the matter. This is a Punch and Judy show and if you don’t Judy on command you get Punch. My wife liked the TV show “Sons of Anarchy,” but I told her, when they start killing off main characters for ratings…the show is over. Once you start, you can’t stop, the crowd gets worked up by the smell of blood and the heart racing excitement of exposing a thought criminal. A red under your bed!

So, I wondered, who would be next? That was the wrong question. The correct question is who is on first? I came across an article about the odd Real Estate arrangement ole Kev is living under by renting a room from lobbyist Frank Luntz. Being a guy and having a buddy needing a place to stay for a while isn’t an odd situation in itself. “I got a spare room; I’ll move my golf bag and ten speed out of there and you move the dog, and you can sleep on the fold out couch. Night Buddy.” But this “room” is in a luxury 7,000 square foot Washington condo. How much? Don’t ask, but the HOA dues are five grand a month. 24 hr. Concierge and a roof top swimming pool. “If you get hungry during the night dial the front desk.  Renaldo the chef gets angry when we forage in his refrigerator.”

But it is not the why, it is the who. This story was broken by little Tucker Carlson, the fly who thought he could boy. Since character assassination is a prime feature of his program it is not surprising, but since when does a paid Republican assassin rat out the Republican number two? Number two in many ways this was a shot across the bow from orange you know who. “Do my bidding slave!” yes, master. As you wish master, I’ll get rid of her right away master.

A spokesman for ole Kev said he paid “A fair market price for the room.” What is fair market? Let’s see, half of the HOA fee is $2,500 and you gotta buy the beer for a buddy spotting you a room. “You might want to change those sheets. They’ve been on there since the divorce.” So old Kev grabbed his ankles and did what he was to told and listen…crickets! Generally, when little Tuck picks out the enemy all the other apes get excited howling and throwing bones at the obelisk. The left doesn’t much care, this isn’t a dead hooker in the bathtub just a little grease on the wheel. A congressional congruity. “If you want to use my skybox to watch the football game, just call my man and let him know and he will make all the arrangements for you.”

Odd for a professional assassin to miss the hit. It was staged so perfectly, “Over the weekend, we got a call from a source who said that, in fact, Frank Luntz and Kevin McCarthy are not simply friends; they’re roommates,” Oooh, that’s bad. That’s real bad, implying there is a rainbow flag flying in the window. Lil Tuck continues, “Kevin McCarthy lives in Luntz’s apartment in downtown Washington. That’s what we were told, and honestly, we did not believe it. The top Republican in the House lives with a Google lobbyist? Come on. Even by the sleazy and corrupt standards of politics in Washington, that didn’t seem possible. In fact, it sounded like a joke.”

There it is visible to the naked eye, worse than we thought. Not a rainbow flag but a Google flag. Google is ah, “Liberal” and their high technology is kin to books, and you know what that means! The orange high protector says books are bad, so Google must be bad.

The ethics committee will investigate McCarthy in a search for back dated checks. The flipside is that the condo development strictly forbids “renting rooms.” Renaldo gets upset when he has to make extra omelets at breakfast. The little scandal that wasn’t. Matt Gaetz snorting coke and screwing teenagers but hey’ everybody, “I think Kevin McCarthy is Gay! Oh, God it’s even worse. He’s living with a liberal! You know what that means children! Oh wait, never mind. In our top lies tonight, Joe Biden did something odious today.”

I would wager Luntz couldn’t tell you the color of the curtains in the living room. That’s just a 7,000 square foot condo he keeps in case any of his Congressional buddies needs a room for a few days, weeks, years. After all, what are friends and lobbyists for? Don’t think of me as your Landlord, I’m your friend, come on in Buddy!

The McCarthy / Gaetz / Cheney axis. You can do whatever you want as long as you do what you’re told. Orange Stalin making lists for the work camps in Siberia demands obedience. Not like the Pentagon officials who wouldn’t withdraw all the troops from foreign bases to screw Joe Biden like Trump wanted. You see, we are in this nightmare and not exempt from this mayonnaise gone bad in the sun. Helman’s was more than willing to damage US national security, the military and all of America, just to screw over Joe Biden. “Tee Hee, if I withdraw all the troops from Afghanistan and the Taliban kills a bunch of people with a bomb, it will be on him! Laugh, guffaw.”

This is the unquestioned leader of the Republican Party because if you question you will be removed. You will have a target painted on your back like Montag. You will be on every TV channel with Republican helicopters and pundits tracking you down. You will never make it to the railroad tracks. Hit men wait in every window, and you are in an open car. The message could not be any clearer. Support Trump and take the blood oath or die!

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