Pottersville Saturday Night

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

Mark Twain said, “Whiskeys for drinking and water’s for fighting over.” Water has always been scarce in the West, only now it’s getting scarcer. A prolonged drought has reduced the water levels of Lake Mead, the Great Lake of the West to its lowest level since construction. Scientists say the drought is due to man made climate change. Republican’s counter it’s sunspots or the orbit of the moon. With enough thoughts and prayers and M-16s, everything will be just fine. Last year in Colorado, white water rafting trips had to be curtailed due to low water levels. Not only was it not exciting, it wasn’t safe, nobody here but you me and those rocks.

A few rafting operators were impacted but this year the talk is a 15% water reduction is coming. Plants being plants are stubborn in negotiations and refuse to grow with 15% less water. Forcing farmers to grow fewer crops until the business model becomes unsustainable. The lower water level also means a 25% reduction of electrical power from Hoover Dam. Climate scientists forecast the drought to last somewhere between one and a thousand years. Direct economic impact for tens of millions of Americans and the Republicans offer, “A Green New Deal? Oh, hell no!”

Squalling like he was burned by the stove. Texas Republican Louie Gohmert suggested we alter the moon’s orbit. And perhaps your first thought is “How stupid is that?” That a grown man would suggest the Herculean task of changing the orbit of a celestial body without any other ramifications. “We could get Superman to move it!” Republicans don’t believe in climate change but do believe in checks from oil companies. They will fight for their corner down to the last dry riverbed. Then campaign against the restrictive government policies leading to lower farm income.

The Chinese have built the Three Gorges Dam. One of the largest dams and hydroelectric facilities in the world. A massive undertaking to control Yangtze River, which gets its water from a glacier high up in the Himalayas. A glacier expected to have melted away due to climate change during the next twenty years. Republicans and the Reich wing media have been beside themselves with grief over the canceling of the Keystone pipeline. “It was gonna create ten million jobs and reduce the price of unleaded to 29 cents a gallon and it only leaks sometimes. The Canadians want to send us their oil to be refined down South for America’s energy independence.”

You know what else they have down South? Ports and easy access to the ocean so you can ship that oil far, far away. But it’s tar sands, bargain basement oil. Crap that is only profitable to refine when oil prices are high. Trumpty Dumpty wanted to open the Arctic wildlife range to oil exploration. For energy independence of course. But let us mix geography with our oil exploration. A barrel of oil in Alaska would not be profitable to move to say Florida or New England. That oil would go to Japan or China because geography demands it. Europe buys oil and natural gas from Russia. Not because they like it, but because it is their closest source.  So, energy independence is really just a euphemism for big $$$$$$!

The Republicans counter no one has ever proved the direct effect of climate change to their satisfaction, and no one ever will. You expect me to believe that dumping millions of tons of hydrocarbons into the atmosphere negatively impacts the climate? Well, put away your charts and graphs cause the Bible and Exxon says it ain’t so. Smoking doesn’t cause cancer; masks don’t save lives. Do you see a theme developing here? The goodness and wholesomeness of any product or actively based entirely by the big numbers on that little check. “Try delicious and refreshing Crack! One hit and your day will never be the same!” Little Johnny was always running around and getting in my hair. But now, with St. Joseph Opiates for children, I have more “Me” time on my hands!

Trusting the Republicans with the climate is like trusting the cafeteria to Jeffery Dahmer.  Donald Trump used the Justice Department to spy on Congress and Journalists in crimes worse than Nixon. “So? Hillary improperly kept e-mails on an unprotected server, what do you say to that, huh? Hunter Biden’s laptop says he was the one who let the Covid out of the Chinese lab. The Chinese kept saying, “Hunter, Hunter close the damn door, but would he listen?”

You can run with the ball or you can blow up the outhouse, but you can’t do both. That’s the problem with a mega criminal, where to start. Doing the forensics on the Trump family, two-holer is going to net you a lot of shit. A lot of testimony and shocking revelations of all the things you’ve always suspected. Underlings going to jail and big fish swimming away. Gerald Ford Pardoned Nixon to end the Republicans long national nightmare of being in the same Party as Richard Nixon. Trumpty Dumpty gave us a taste of Pottersville Saturday Night. Of George Bailey lost and confused, “where, where’s the Building and Loan?”

To say vote Democratic like your life depends on it would be wrong. Your life will be just fine, but your kids…well they are all fucked. On the cusp of an existential environmental apocalypse last seen in the eyes of the dinosaurs. Republicans offer heartbeat bills and do away with gun registrations. Change laws to protect against voter fraud while the Western United States faces a drought of Biblical proportions and is baked hard to a cinder. But the Republicans have a plan…cash checks and play dumb. By the time Miami is under water I’ll be retired and besides. We can always blame it on government regulation!

Mommy, I’m not hungry! “Shut up and eat your mud. If Hillary had been elected, we wouldn’t have all this nice mud.”

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