Big Talk for a One-Eyed Fatman

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

I think the problem people make is listening to what a politician says, instead of listening to his or her motivation for saying it. No different from grade school. Mighty Mitch McConnell Mouse (What are we going to do tonight Brain?) goes on a circle jerk media outlet and begins running his mouth. “That bully better watch it, or I’ll thump him and take away his Supreme Court nominations. I’m not afraid of him; you wait and see! Why next year we gonna win the House (Marjorie Taylor Greene, Matt Gaetz, Lauren Bobert, Jim Jordan) and then the Senate (Louie Gohmert, Ted Cruz, Josh Holly, Liz Cheney, Rand Paul) in a cakewalk. In the words of John Wayne, “That’s big talk for a one-eyed fat man!”

Don’t get mad at me! You wait and see, next time we’re gonna show em. Charlie Brown out on his pitcher’s mound trying to encourage the team.  ‘And then I’ll punch him and gouge his eyes out, you wait! He’ll be sorry someday!” Forget the fake German accent and the pack of cigarettes rolled up in his tee shirt sleeve. This ain’t Arnold or Fonzie, this is Mitch McConnell. Pay no attention to that man cowering under the desk. Sargent Dork of the Northwest Mounted Lilliputians. “Well gee, Mister Trump sir.” (Tremble in voice.) “I suppose we could do that if you really wanted too.” “That’s Senator Eddie Haskell to you!” Republicans always want to be in charge but once in charge never want to do any work. Kevin McCarthy wants to be speaker of the house, and I wanted to be an astronaut. I guess we all have big dreams, and I didn’t get too far in mine either.

Trump, Q, January 6th, Louie Gohmert “I didn’t know they were Hitler supporters when I gave them the money. I thought they were “Hipper” supporters.” Matt Gaetz hasn’t been punked, defrauded, bilked, ratted on or exposed himself to ridicule in nearly a week. That bug is going to fight swimming swirling all the way down the toilet and help take the Party with him. It’s like dueling banjo’s The handicapped kid is picking at the strings and the Republicans are trying to follow along. Living in a Disneyworld of the deranged, fantasyland and Tough Guy Land. Peddling stories and lies and excuses. That prosecutor is subpoenaing everyone’s records. An Attorney General caught knee deep in shit is a Witch Hunt. That’s some witch you got there, but she ain’t Waldo. And she ain’t hard to find either, she is right there!

But widdle Mitch said something not quite as threatening as taking Biden’s Lunch money but twice as interesting. Mitch said the Party is prepared to step in the case of unelectable candidates who win their primary. The first day in politics they take you to the shrine of the defeated. On its marble façade it is etched, “When the Party chooses the candidate against the popular choice of the people that candidate will lose.” Piss them off coming and going, and plays right into that narrative you are pushing about phony elections. Tax abatement? We want to talk about Q! And the Pizza Parlor! And they shall be devoured by their own brainless zombies! Personally, it is the best news I’ve heard since the Presidential election. Sounds like you got a great plan there fellas, go to it.

The name of the game is to encourage your supporters while discouraging your opponents supporters. How’s that working in Georgia and Arizona? We want the feller what says theys something in the water? The guy who says the government is out to kill us all! The guy Donald Trump likes. “In the Orange corner weighing 354 pounds. I mean, 185 pounds. The former heavy weight champion of the world, “Mark of the Beast!”  And in the yellow corner growing yellower all the time, weighing in at 92 pounds with his shoes on, Floats like a brick and stings like a butterfly. Mighty Mouse Mitch McConnell!

Mitch is similar to Hillary Clinton in that half of his own party already hates him. “An if you ain’t onboard with Hillary Clinton and California billionaires is trying to put somethin in our water to make us into cross-dressing zombies. I don’t want to hear what you have to say or vote for your candidate. Don’t you read the Bible?” This what happens when the remote-control airplane drifts out of range. They just kind of wander solid in their positions with no idea what to do next. Rush Limbaugh is dead, and George Bush has turned Communist and space aliens is controlling the radio.

One frog keeps leaping over the other until they reach the cliff. If the Republican Party were a country right now the UN would be launching relief efforts. “Won’t you please give? Just look at these miserable fly encrusted Republican children! (In the arms of the angels) Why with your donation of just ten dollars we can supply one hundred tin foil hats to needy Republican children forced to endure the horrors of PUBLIC SCHOOL! Taught Science against their will and history against their beliefs. But there is the accursed land the land that Republicans forgot or were forgotten.

If California were a country right now and had oil, we’d be about to dose them with freedom. Leading the United States in economic growth, wages, and social services. Gee, get rid of the snake, and it really is a paradise. If California were a country, we’d have to check them for nukes. They have the brains, the facilities and the money. “California, hell anyone can win an argument with facts! So what, a big budget surplus and tax rebates. I cut off unemployment for millions, and I didn’t even have too! Did you see that Ice storm! Sold a hundred million in sheetrock alone! Growth, who needs growth. The most successful state in the Union and the Republicans have a plan. “Let’s recall the governor.”

So, when the bully starts talking tough about how this is his playground now, and how its gonna cost you a nickel to play there. Just smile and say “Sure, sure it is. Big talk for a one-eyed fat man” and then knock the shit out them at the ballot box. This is all of Tara that you’ll ever have! Maybe if you’re not willing to fight for it, you don’t deserve it.

Please Like and Share– In the next life, I’ll buy you a Cadillac

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