Trumpelstiltskin

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

By David Glenn Cox

They slip further down the rabbit hole and there is no help for them. They have been swallowed up and must now pass through the digestive system of the political world before being disposed of properly and then wiped and flushed. A Georgia Congressman refuses to shake hands with one of the policemen tased and beaten defending the Georgia Congressman’s life on January 6th. Twenty-one Republicans vote against gold medals for policeman who quite possibly saved their lives. I could just hear it, “I got one! I got one!” Republican, Democrat, Janitor or Independent, mob rule and pack mentality would have ripped them to shreds. This wasn’t a Mensa outing.

Seditionists rifling through Ted Cruz’s papers (Yes, Ted Cruz has papers but usually spread on the floor.) misunderstood the language in a document (What does this word mean Cletus?) and jumped to the conclusion that Cruz was about to sell them out. Knowing Ted Cruz, that’s not a far-fetched conclusion. But had the mob found Cruz around that time (Look over there! No, the closet door to your right) and the story would have changed considerably. Twisting and turning like salted slugs in the sunshine. Even going so far as accusing Capitol police of setting an ambush. “It’s those damn police! One unruly tour group comes through here, and they snap like a Pitt Bull with an anal rash!”

Good luck selling that story about how the sky is green and the grass is blue in November. This is free time you can say whatever you like now. But remember, if your November opponent has a pencil and a piece of paper, they are taking this all down. This is a turd in the Margarita maker for sure. How to convince generations of Republicans raised on “If he’d just done what the policeman told him he wouldn’t have been shot 92 times.” So, Bambi was actually the aggressor and Godzilla was just out for walk? Poor Scrooge was just trying to preserve the environment by not burning coal in the office. When that miserable Bob Cratchit and his mob of mealy mouth little brats comes into the office invoking religious holidays and proselytizing. Page seventeen of the employee manual clearly states: It is against (Scrooge co. Inc.) company policy to proselytize for or against any religion or belief system.

The fat kid with cookie crumbs on his shirt tells a fantastic story of how the cookies were stolen. “What, little boy? There is a wolf?” Mark Twain once said that when he died, he wanted to be cremated. His pastor responded, “if I had your chances, I wouldn’t worry about that.” Malevolent Mitch the Tortoise from outer space, boasts about what he’s going to do when the Republicans take over Congress…same story. The Republicans have song and danced themselves out onto thin ice and don’t know how to stop. Former professional men’s room attendant Jim Jordan. Wants the Justice Department to investigate whether Italian space lasers were used to manipulate the Presidential vote count in favor of Joe Biden. An unnamed Justice Department official was quoted as saying, “It’s a crime to use government property to make prank phone calls.”

Like a huge meteor headed for the Earth, each stupid comment creates friction and peels away layers of support. “What? He wouldn’t shake hands with a policeman?” I would not be surprised if the Republicans don’t torch a few orphanages as fundraisers before the fall. Maybe, “For every ten dollars you donate you get to kick this puppy!” Until the meteor becomes a momentary flash in the night sky.

Stay tuned for next weeks exciting episode as voter fatigue sets in. The echo chamber only has one song on the play list and it ain’t a hit. Faux News host Tucker Carlson (not to be confused with the anal rash by the same name) Tries to sell the January 6th Sedition as an FBI black Op and Dr. Fauci as Dr. Mengele. But nothing is working. Turn up the volume to eleven that’s why we bought these. The volume goes to eleven! But it’s not working, it’s like snowballs against tanks. The further out you go the less likely the public will follow. I’ll listen to your story of why I was late for work until you mention spacers lasers, blood thirsty policeman or well-behaved rioters. Good luck with that!

Though it has received little publicity, this was national moron appreciation and take a Republican swimming in deep water week. “Keep going, the further you get from shore the better it gets! Rip tide, what rip tide?” Apparently, in light of the holiday. Matt Gaetz and Marjorie Greene were treated to an all expense paid trip to the moron Hilton. Absent from this week’s Republican hilarity. A toaster in every bathtub and recreational drugs in the mini bar. (They’re just so expensive in the mini bar.) Dial 9 for hookers.

Among Republicans, Vladimir Putin polls more favorably than Joe Biden. This is their strategy for victory in November. To garner 100% of Republican loyalist vote and 10% of everyone else. To win their Parties primaries in a cake walk and to then be forced to defend seditious criminal behavior in the general election. Unamerican behavior, racism, nonsense like the general flatulence of the insane. The Arizona recount reaches a new level with the vote totals being taken to a secret lab in Montana. “Why everyone knows the best way to count votes is in secret with nobody watching!”

Who is the likely Republican Presidential candidate in 2024? Trump? Fat chance! Pun intended. Josh Hawley polled at less than 1%. Mike Pence’s photo has been appearing on milk cartons And Chris Christie doesn’t fit in the picture. The Republican faithful fell in love with Trumpelstiltskin, but he has run twice and lost twice, and a third try would be an air only swing and a miss. Trumpy would lose his victim status and would have to start again with the whole stolen election myth. Besides Trumpelstiltskin can lead the Party to defeat from the comfort and privacy of Mira Lago. And with your cash donation will make public appearances at the border or Grocery store Grand openings.

Robespierre said, “The King must die so that the country can live.” Or in this case, “the King must die so that the Republican Party may live.” The thing that outlived its usefulness and now impairs forward progress. Trumpelstiltskin plays with the Party keeping them locked up then like plastic army men casting them aside. This is all about Me! A political Party tied at the hip to a narcissist who isn’t running. (It’s the Charlie Manson Party! We hate cops!) Led by a narcissist who really doesn’t care either way who wins as long as he gets attention and paid.

“Please to meet you, won’t you guess my name?”

Please Like and Share, Joe Biden saved me 10K on my taxes. No other President has ever done that for me before. Thanks Joe!

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